unnoticed
we say our good byes we kiss our good nights. every day we rise even through fights. and though its not final this one thing is true you are an angel and i'll always love you
thinking of you
Everyday your in my head, and I wish you hadn't left, you meant so much to me why coulnt it last. Even after youd gone i couldnt let you leave my life is dark... i just want you to know that maybe i was wrong , you were always right. If you take me back i will sleep tonight. please dont make me dissapear dont shun me from your sight I hope that one night we will end this all and be happy once again. one night to mend and saturday i will be yours. Summer should stay winter is unneeded. please i have been defeated. i cant go a day without thinking your name distance doesnt matter it is but a game. love is a virtue and virtues mame. please think of me when your sitting in the sun, shed a tear when your having all your fun. ive missed you all these months. we havent spoken in so long
2006-11-04 06:47:17 · 7 answers · asked by shimbals 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
the big space in between means that they are different things and are not connected in any way
2006-11-04 07:08:36 · update #1
I like it. Keep goin' and maybe you'll become a famous poem/song writer!
Short Poem-
You talk crap about
how I act
What I do
How I talk
or How I walk
but will you ever know who I am?
2006-11-04 06:57:11 · answer #1 · answered by Midnight-Star 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In the first paragraph the poetic phrase was beautiful, but the lengthy extention of that does not pronounce your meanings of love from the first paragraph. It takes your thoughts of need for a re-uniting to a love but they should be separate. Write two poems but expound upon the first sentences and lift your spirits of hope without getting too explicit with your own needs but more from a worldly aspect of your feelings of love. Be a little more vague and less distinct, like the word Saturday in not needed you are putting time to love and love is timeless. All and all it is a beautiful concept with true meaning. Keep up the good work, practice makes life fun especially when we love to do it.
2006-11-04 15:05:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very Good.
2006-11-04 16:05:16 · answer #3 · answered by ~Twisted Sister~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First one is short and sweet.
2nd one is too literal. Too direct.
Always room for improvement.
2006-11-04 21:52:08 · answer #4 · answered by Saffren 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, they are good.
2006-11-04 15:48:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
good tells us more
2006-11-04 14:56:00 · answer #6 · answered by amberharris20022000 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they're good!
2006-11-04 14:58:43 · answer #7 · answered by snappypappy797 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋