How many times should a person try marriage before they realize it's not for them?

Question

How many divorces are acceptable in a man's past? One...two...three...? Is the divorce always both people's fault? Or is one person sometimes to blame?

Answer 1

Well, so far, I've tried it 5 times. Yeh, really. I am married for the fifth time. I still haven't realized that marriage is not for me, because it is. With the right person it's great.

Usually the divorce is both people's fault. It lies on both people because they should have been discussing things. That involves 2 people. But if one doesn't want to talk, or thinks that there's nothing wrong, it's usually this person who is at fault.

In my last marriage, my ex wife was no sexual in the least. She was gorgeous but was not sexual nor sensual. Within the first 6 months of our marriage, I turned over one night to get amorous and she turned away. I stopped right there and told her that if I didn't get it at home, I'd get it elsewhere. She said "Do what you gotta do". So, end of discussion. Our marriage lasted 11 years and I did not have sex with her 11 times during that time. it ended up with me running around and having sex with another girl. So you could call this both people's fault, but I just got tired of masturbating to take care of my needs, because she wouldn't. I wanted a live person, a warm body, real sex instead of my hand. So after many years of frustration, you could say it was my fault for leaving.

OK, it's usually both people who are at fault but in this case, I do blame my ex wife.

Answer 2

I've always heard that if the third one doesn't work, it probably never will. The number of divorces in a man's past isn't as relevant as WHY the divorces happened. Before marrying a partner who has been divorced, a person should talk frankly with them about what happened, until the new partner is satisfied he/she knows the reason for the divorce and knows why it won't happen again. A divorce can be both people's fault in the sense that two people didn't mesh together in their desires or what they understood marriage to be ... of course one person can spring a divorce on another person by cheating, etc. But there's usually two parts to play in that drama. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

I don't think you can toss everybody into one basket and put a single label on it. There are so many variable factors. But I would say that after two marriages have failed, one has to hope that maybe, just maybe, the guy has examined the situation in some depth and tried to analyze what's going on. I would probably even advise the man to invest a little money in a consultation with a psychologist, or somebody in the marriage counselling line of work.. Then, in hopes that armed with a bit of self-knowledge, a third time might be a charm.
One usually finds this said about women, but I think it is probably also true for some men that they have an unfortunte habit of gravitating right back to the same KIND of person they were with unsuccessfully before. A skilled, experienced counsellor would probably bring this point up, and help that individual to understand the "mental mechanisms" that so often make this happen.

But whether you, yourself, are the one with several failed marriages under your belt.... or you a re thinking of committing to someone else who has, I'd say this: If ya haven't got it right after the third try, it's trying to t ell you something. Either you, for some reason, just don't have the right personality make-up to be able to handle the requirements of commitment and compromise that it takes for a marriage to be successful....... or you are thinking of becoming #4 to somebody else who has that exact same problem.
In the first instance, if you haven't figured out what's wrong with YOU after three tries, the high probability is that # 4 ain't gonna work either. In the second case, if you are thinking of becoming someone else's #4 ,.... don't, for the exact same reason.

LOL I can almost hear the ghasps of disagreement from people who HAVE found success on the fourth attempt. I'd remind them that there is no such thing as a general rule without a few unusual exceptions, but those people ARE the exceptions, and that in no way invalidates the general rule. I have a habit of looking at certain situations as if I were at the racecourse, r eading the "form" of the runners a nd trying to d ecide on which horse to put my money. In this instance, I'd ask: If this were a horse, would YOU put your shirt on it?

Answer 4

Marriage is not a free trial sort of thing. That is why dating and living together is for.
There is no acceptable or unacceptable number when it comes to divorce. It all depends on the reasons and circumstances a person got divorces and if the other person is willing to deal with his/her partner's past
99% of the time it is both parties fault for the break-up. It takes two to tango.

Answer 5

I believe sometimes only one person is to blame. It takes two to make the marriage work and if one does not work at it then it is their fault. I do not think there is a number that is too many divorces. When you keep trying it has to be the right one sometime.So I say keep trying until the love of your life is married to you.

Answer 6

Elizabeth Taylor has been married and divorced - something like 7 times......... Christie Brinkley is going on her 3rd divorce.....

Are you getting married just for the sake of being married? Try dating someone long-term (forget about marriage until several years have passed and it feels right).

Divorce - it is what it is - the breakup of a relationship that didn't work regardless of who's to blame!

Answer 7

Well, it took me 3 times. Yeah...some people are denser than others. Yes, it always takes 2 to tango.

Answer 8

i say after 15 u should stop, yep 15 is the cutoff point

Answer 9

If he is sane ONE IS ENOUGH, still if he wants, he can do 4.