My guy friend and I have been really good friends for the past five years. We spend a lot of time together and have made pacts together initially stating that we will wed if we are both single at the age of 26. At the beginning of our friendship we had briefly dated for about a month, but ended it and remained friends. Through those years however, many of his friends have told me that he still had strong feelings for me, which I didn't care to explore. This previous summer however, I did. He confessed that he had secretly been in love with me for the past five years. I had also confessed to him that I had strong feelings for him as well. So we began to have a secretive relationship. The major problem, however, is that he has a girlfriend in which he has been dating for six months. I questioned him about his feelings and he said that he "likes me and always has but doesn't know what to do". If he loves me than he wouldn't want to stay with her. So why is he staying with her?
2006-11-04 06:25:00 · 7 answers · asked by kckell2311 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think that you should back away from him. Right now, you're letting him have all the benefits of being with you, while you have to share his affections with another girl.If he really loved you than he would give up the relationship with the other girl and soley be yours. You should give him an ultimatum...either she goes or you do. You definitely deserve better than second rate...which is where he has you now. Also, you should be aware that if you do get with him he could have a secretive relationship with someone else while you two are dating just like he has done with you now.
2006-11-04 06:36:31 · answer #1 · answered by LikeItsMyLast 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the most important thing is for him to be honest with himself, you, and the other girl. He should admit to the other girl that he's been secretly seeing you for a while, and that he's had feelings for you all along. Both you and she should think long and hard about whether you're willing to date a guy that can enter a relationship with one girl while loving another, and then go behind her back and cheat on her.
If after all that you both still love him, and he still loves both of you, then I would suggest you read online about polyamory.
2006-11-04 07:39:27 · answer #2 · answered by zandyandi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems to me like hes in love with you bt the promise to get married if your both single at 26 is a bit silly because you could meet somone better after 26! any way he probs doesnt know how to get rid of this girlfriend! even if he loves you better he obviously cares for her because he dated her for 6 months and thats a long time so be patient itll be worth it!
2006-11-04 06:31:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By the sounds he loves both of you and if he decides to stay with her then you will have to decide if you still want to be his friend or not. Just don't get to close cause the gf might not like it.
Good luck!
2006-11-04 06:49:04 · answer #4 · answered by Ash M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. Right now, you're the 'other woman'. If he will cheat with you, than he will cheat on you. He's not Mr. Right. Get away from him, and find someone with emotional integrity and one that can handle a monogamous relationship.
2006-11-04 06:44:37 · answer #5 · answered by tamster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems to me that he just wanted to see if he could have you and now that he knows he can he wants to see if he can get something better. what you should do is talk to him about it and tell him you want him to choose b/c if he would rather be with her then you deserve better.
2006-11-04 07:05:42 · answer #6 · answered by js gal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she has been good to him and he just don't want to hurt her, or maybe he is afraid you will break it off again and with her he feels stable
2006-11-04 06:29:07 · answer #7 · answered by connie m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋