Im being bullied at school, what should i do?

Question

OK, there are these lads at school who are a older and think that it is funny to bully me. I dont tend to take any notice but somtimes it gets me down and i dont know how to deal with things. I think the reason they do this is because i am gay and i realise that there are people with different views on gay people but i dont see a need to bully me and make me feel unhappy. I know that i should talk to a teacher about this but i feel it would make the situaton worse and i dont believe its at an extreme level. I feel hard to talk to people and meet different people because of how i sound and i feel self concious when i try and speak back. I know that i am going to come across alot more people who feel the same way as they do but i am unsure how to deal wit it all. please help, alex xx

Answer 1

You have to tell a teacher otherwise it will continue. You need to sort it out soon before it gets any worse. Good luck

Answer 2

When you leave school people are much better. These bullies are rare. You will find very few people like them. You are much more able to chose those that surround you and will build up a supportive network of friends.

Do not be self-concious. You sound the way you sound. If you try to hide it you will sound stranger. Be proud of it. People love you for it. Don't try to change: you are you.


Talking to a teacher would be the best plan. Tell them you are worried about making it worse. Let them know that you are gay, and tell them if the bullies know, or are just picking on you because you are camp. This is critical - you don't want the teacher "outing" you if you are not already out. I don't know much about how schools tackle bullying, but you probably need to square up to the bullies too. Look at them fiercely: don't be apoligetic for who you are. I'd much sooner be friends with you than them. You are a worthwhile person and they have no right to take the piss. Discuss specific incidents with the teacher, and work through ways of dealing with them should they re-occur, specifically how to square up to them and show you are not going to take it lying down. I think that once you stop being an easy target they will move on.

It is very important that you sort it out. It is affecting your self-esteem and how you relate to other people. You see everyone as potential bullies, and in a way that may well turn them into bullies. People react negatively when they see someone who is ashamed of themselves and will take anything that people throw at them. They realise that they could get away with bullying you too, and may well try if they are having a bad day.

Be confident, stand proud, look people in the eye, and refuse to take any crap. With the teacher's help you can do it!

Good luck!

Incidentally, if the teacher gives you rubbish advice, or turns out to be a homophobe, find another that you trust more. Groups like Stonewall for young gay people can also provide support.

Answer 3

OK Alex, I have read your other question about your family and how you feeling lonely. I've noticed that you keep saying that you think your problems are because your gay, how young are you as you say these boys are a year older so at the most you must be 15.
I'm not questioning your sexuality but I think that you are hiding behind the whole gay thing for whatever reason, you need to accept what you are then others will...If you think that people wont like you then you have already let yourself down, positive thoughts here Alex.
I don't think that people are bothered anymore by anyone being gay, its so everyday unlike yrs ago..also at school most boys feel like they have to prove something, this may be why they are bulling you as you are already feeling low so your an easy target, remember that bully's are wimps alone that's why they bully in packs & if you stood up for yourself they would leave you alone. If you were a strong minded person(gay or not) bullys wouldn't go near you, they pray on the weak. You may come across people who dont like gay people but then will also come across rascist & sexcist people too. NEVER doubt yourself why should you change for them, live your life how you want, be what you wanna be and NEVER let anyone bully you.
I really hope you find your path in life. x

Answer 4

Bullying is not acceptable on any level. I'm sorry that you are going through this, and you're bright enough to accept different points of view are there no matter what, and that this may occur in l8r life. I get name called now and I'm 36 kids always shout lezzy or some other witful line but the truth is I've heard it all b4. I know answering back can be difficult but try turning it back on them (I hate doing that because being gay shouldn't be offensive but if you call them gay and so forth most heterosexual people will take offence and wonder if you know something they don't - cos like it's infectious you know and only gay people know other gay people cos of that Gaydar stuff ((tongue in cheek))etc.) So, in response to their taunts ask them if they need to know because they want a date ? If you can't face that then try going to some form of self defence lessons as these are gr8 for confidence building. Also try asking them why they are so jealous is it because you can get the girls better? Don't let it get you down you are a worthwhile human being and good for you for keeping your cool. Bear with it their are reasonable people out there who will accept you for you, and don't ever change.

Answer 5

This probably won't help but you do know that bullies are the most insecure of all people don't you. They are at an age where they're unsure of their own sexuality, maybe they have gay feelings, even though they might not be gay. They're confused, frightened and insecure and they feel better by ganging together and finding a scape goat. If you're strong enough to deal with them (and you sound like you are) then do nothing, but if it's really getting to you, talk to a teacher you can trust

Answer 6

First of all Alex, you must stand up and challenge these people. They have got no right to bully you. Second Do speak to your teacher and make her/ him aware of the situation.
Three dont ever feel self conscious about who you are. You are as good as anyone else if not better than the ones who are bullying you. Stand up and be counted Alex and dont let anyone pull you down. Go get em! Good Luck kid.

Answer 7

This is difficult for you. I think you've been taking the right approach in ignoring them as much as you can but another thing that will help you is to change your body language. See if you ignore them but still look a little fragile then they'll continue.

So walk tall literally, always hold your head up rather than glancing down especially when you are approaching these guys. You need a good pace in your walk too. Trust me you look like you're very confident and unconcerned when you walk this way. As they walk by, act like they are invisible, keep your eyes focused ahead like you're on a mission to get somewhere. Don't look at them.

Bullies don't tend to pick on people who look confident. They'll move on.

Have a look round your school one day, just observe people, you can pick out the ones who LOOK like they could be bullied can't you? Then look at the confident ones, they LOOK like they're not likely to be bullied.

I hope this helps.

Answer 8

There is only one way to deal with this, you must tell a teacher or guidence councillor, there is actions they can take, all schools have an anti bullying policy, and you must continue to tell every time they do it, If you dont do something now, they might seriously harm a younger person mentally/physically or yourself even more. Don't just ignore it, Do something for yourself and others, Good Luck, I'm proud of you for opening up x

Answer 9

Your call is cassie. Why the hell might a guy be bullying a woman? You greater suitable confront him in college loudly(like somebody suggested until eventually now) upward thrust up and get in his face and tell him to quit throwing or doing regardless of he's is. it relatively is all approximately intimidation. I remember when I used to play for the basketball team in severe-college there replaced into guy on my team who replaced into passing the ball particularly complicated. i'm no longer even finding and out of nowhere he's going to throw the ball complicated as hell on my back. I enable him slide the 1st time yet he stored persevering with it. I grabbed the ball have been given in his face and advised him if he attempting that **** back i visit beat the **** outta him. of direction I have been given into difficulty for "threatening" somebody yet who supplies a ****? From that day on he did no longer even have the balls to look immediately in my eyes.

Answer 10

Don't go to your teacher unless they physically hurt you... If I was a bully, and I got told off for (verbal) bullying, I'd do it worse because I know it's hitting the mark. (harsh, I know...)

What you do need to do is show that you couldn't give a toss what they think... and you really shouldn't. Sarcasm and self-belief are your friends. Learn to like yourself, including being gay.