please answer seriously?

Question

ok here is the situation i am a married man with 1 son with my wife and a son from a previous relationship who is 5 who i pay child support for. Currently i pay 786 per month. Of course this is a high payment which has in turn left me struggling to pay my mortgage. i do amke a good living but like i said my high child support make it nearly impossible to make ends meet. I am in no way trying to get out of child support but i realize recently in order to meet these other financial obligations i am going to take on another ft job. Also that will limit my son time to come over here which as of now i get him every other weekend but of course if i get another job that would probaly be less. My son mother constantly makes plans on my weekends so honestly she showing time with his father is not at all important. so my question is shall i just get the other job to meet ends meet or stay with the current situation . be advised on the weekends he comes he sees my wife more than me

no this is more than 20% but they say she can ask for more anything to do with the child that 786 includes childcarebefore he goes to school and afther school until she gets home all she needed was a notorized letter from some lady saying that is what she pays i question if she actually pays that , that explanation was for kim lol

Answer 1

I understand how difficult this must be with you and I apologize to you. I work in the legal field and see issues like this often. My grandfather advised me when young, you have to look take care #1 before you can take care of anyone else. Basically it's a catch 22 situation for you. Although I commend your concerns and your love for your son, you have to survive as well, and since his mom is not working with you. You can also get modification of visitation rights and see your during the week, holidays etc. When doing so mention to the judge, your lawyer that she is currently not abiding by your current visitation right, she is in violation, unless your agreement is mutual.

I wish you luck with your decision and I am sure whatever you decide your son will still feel the same about you... and that is love you.

Commended to you for being a great dad and man

Sassy

Answer 2

Honestly, I really do sympathize. This is such a difficult situation for you both to be in.

I would say it depends on how hard up you are financially. If you are not able to make ends meet at all, then perhaps you could do a small job with just a few hours a week to help a little.

If you are managing then stay as you are and enjoy your son in the short years that he is young as this will have a profound effect on him when he becomes an adult. He will remember how much he saw of you etc.

I must admit I've never been in this situation but I have been very hard up but got by.

In your heart, would you regret seeing less of your son? I think that's the question you need to answer.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

I would consider talking to an attorney and seeing if you can get your child support lowered a little bit - imagine if you start making more with another job and she takes YOU back to court for more money - OUCH! If you are struggling, that would be my first place to start before you take on another job. As for the child's mother, I realize there is an order for weekends, but perhaps you can work out other arrangements, such as you pick him up from school and spend the evenings together or something like that. Be creative and make it work for your schedule. Let her know how important your time with your son is and perhaps she will bend a little and you can work together. Good luck in the meantime and don't rule out talking to an attorney!!

Answer 4

I wish my dad had agonized over his visitation rights the way you are! He never acted like he cared, so now he is no longer a part of my life. Don't risk that- I suggest that you make the short amount of time you spend with your son the highest priority. That time spent with him is extremely valuable. Don't give it up for anything! Fight for it!

To make ends meet, find a financial counselor. Go to one of the non-profit ones, they shouldn't try to get you to use some particular banks consolidation loan. You should be able to go over your income(s), budget, and spending,to find ways to save some money, freeing it up to pay child support and your mortgage. As a last resort, it may be possible to refinance your home for a lower payment, or move to a less expensive neigborhood.

Answer 5

You should only have to pay half of your son's costs. Really you need to put your foot down, bring it back to court and have it lowered you don't want your time taken away from your son you will regret that later in life when you can't do anything about it. I'm a Mother that gets C.S. for one child I get $400 a month and he has a good paying job too, to me that is enough money for one child. Sounds like you have a money hungry ex and she will take as much as you will let her get away with.

Answer 6

Oh my god. I am so sorry. Thats how my family was when I was 10. It tore my dad apart. Im 19 now, but hes is still not all the way there b/c of what happened. I wouldnt take the other job b/c when your son gets older he wont come and see you anymore. Thats how I am. My dad was int he same situation and I never saw him so I naver built that bond with him that other people have. Right now I just dont feel the urge to go and get that bond.

Answer 7

Growing up in very low actively training Christian house I under no circumstances had any loved ones contributors die besides as soon as whilst I was once rather little... I do not even recognise who it was once. And haven't begun to have another loved ones that had been near ample to grasp die when you consider that then. My mother and father under no circumstances instructed me whilst my pets died that they might move to heaven. I simply cried motive I rather ignored them, and it was once ok to cry. (Thinking of it nearly makes me cry how so much I ignored my first) When I have children I'll inform them the fact that they're long gone, and optimistically they're historic ample to fully grasp loss of life. And allow them to comprehend it's ok to overlook them, and provoke on them that lifestyles may be very essential as we best have one to reside. If the ideals indexed via a few are actual, and suicide places you in hell, my grandpa might be in hell earlier than I was once ever born. When I did have devout guideline, that still was once facet of what I was once taught whilst I did acquire a few devout guideline whilst younger... in spite of everything, it does make experience that simply killing your self to get to the following lifestyles might be an convenient price ticket, that is why it is a sin and cannot be the loophole for those who think or anything. I did not move to my possess nieces baptism considering that I reject the notion of indoctrination into a faith unwillingly. My dad (raised a Catholic) raised a enormous deal approximately it nearly, my mother (Lutheran) was once way more accepting of it. I did not inform them that, however I simply have shyed away from it, considering that I recognize them having their view of believing anything they desired. The fact is what I uncover primary. Even if I am flawed, I see no intent to reside my lifestyles any otherwise than I already do. I might honestly uncover much less comforting if any individual would turn out to be 'going to hell' considering that of anything they did... considering that there are such a large amount of religions that disagree, it doesn't matter what you think, you are going to have no less than two/three main global religions say you are no longer going to be ceaselessly rewarded. I'm no longer going to remedy them with fake guarantees of this magical glad situation. And no person ever rather dies so long as the live to tell the tale to your reminiscence, and their genetic legacy can preserve usually too in the event that they had been so inclined. And it is constantly ok to cry and pass over them.

Answer 8

I think it's very important that you spend as much time as possible with your son at his young age. A lot of part time work is pretty flexible. I'd make it a point to be off on the days my son was able to visit.

Answer 9

If taking another job is what you have to do, in order to pay your child support, then that's what you have to do. Yes, it WILL be hard, and everybody loses, but that's just what has to be done for the present. Good Luck! I wish you, and yours, the best.

Answer 10

why don't you go back to court and try to reduce your child support payments. if you can physically prove that you're struggling to make ends meet and you prove that you are doing everything you are suppposed to be doing they should reduce it. $786 is a freakin' lot of money for one kid every month. is that 20% of your paycheck?