I want to know if I should still want to sleep with my wife after she has asked for a divorce? I still want to make love to her and still really care for her. She still sleeps in the same bed as I, but won't even consider being with me. What should I do? Is it wrong to even want to do it?
2006-11-04 05:30:34 · 21 answers · asked by beachdog 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That would be wanting the benefits of the marriage without the responsibility (on her part). She wants out of the responsibility, she doesn't deserve the benefits...
2006-11-04 05:36:10 · answer #1 · answered by ♥gingeylynn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She wants the divorce, and no matter how you feel I would cut the woman off. Sleep on the couch, or even move out. Make her realize what exactly she has asked for. I know you love her and still want her, but you have to make her come to a concrete decision despite how you may feel about her. Just be a tough guy on the outside, and don't let her hurt you too bad on the inside. It is not wrong for you to want her, but at the same time you are just asking for more pain. Please give the situation some time and perhaps she will come around.
2006-11-04 05:44:19 · answer #2 · answered by Michaela 4120 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only natural to want to be with her--after all, she is your wife..But, she asked for a divorce so it's time to move on.
Start sleeping in seperate beds, maybe that will help you both let go. Also, keep in mind that she may indeed become pregnant if, and that would create a world of problems, especially since a baby can not save a marriage, and it would only add to your problems after you separate.
2006-11-04 05:35:33 · answer #3 · answered by Victory 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said she won't even consider being with you, what are your plans.... rape? Get out of the bed and go sleep on the couch. Otherwise, she is using you. It's a game to her. Who asks for a divorce and then sleeps next to their husband? This is the epitome of head games. You know what you should do. Make sure she knows you are leaving. Get out! Spend the night in a motel. If she asks you where you went last night, you know it's head games and confront her with it. Tell her since she wants a divorce it's none of her business. Tell her you know what she is doing and if she tries these head games again YOU will file for divorce and she will not enjoy the ride!
2006-11-04 05:44:52 · answer #4 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pal if she wants a divorce, and won't touch you, you should really be sleeping on the couch, or start thinking about moving out. Sleeping with her, or even just being in the same bed with her is probably causing enough problems for her. I bet money she doesn't like being in that bed with you.
2006-11-04 05:39:25 · answer #5 · answered by VEGAS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is only a cure-all for men.
The idea that she is still sleeping in the same bed says she still wants to work it out (or she is waiting for you to get fed up and move out). But she's not going to give up the sex until you fix what is wrong in the first place.
If you want your wife to make love to you again you will need to find out why she is so unhappy and do your best to fix it. Talk to her and let her know you want more than anything to work out whatever problems there are in the marriage.
2006-11-04 05:42:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It may seem innocent and comfortable to continue having sex with her, but your mind isn't working properly. If she asked for divorce, you two shouldn't even be living under the same roof. Divorce means that she rejects you. She is not prepared to live up to marital commitments. She finds reasons not to be with you.
It's different than just normal marital problems. Once someone files for divorce, they've made a huge decision.
Do you want to live being black mailed?
I think at this point you may be a little blind to the whole situation. You want to be with her. You want to be in love with her. You want that reflected back to you. Sure, of course. Everyone wants that.
To me it sounds like she's using divorce against you. She's just setting herself up so she can have her cake and eat it too. If you continue like this you'll find yourself in a situation when you only have sex when she wants it, only spend time together when she wants it, only do this and that when she wants it. That's not marriage. That's not a good relationship. That's her controlling you and you letting it happen.
She's being egotistical by being with you after asking for divorce. She's probably loving the situation. It sounds like you're at her beckon call, like she could cheat on you and you wouldn't do anything.
Look at it from a different perspective. You want to have sex with someone who has rejected you. Wouldn't it be a lot more healthy for you to have sex with someone who wants to be with you?
Believe me, you'll have sex again. You'll have a relationship again. You'll have someone caring for you again. Don't be so complacent. You must recognize that you're hurt on some level.
If I were you I'd be very careful about the things you own together, because it sounds like she expects divorce to be easy and beneficial for her without regards to you.
She's just riding this divorce as if it doesn't even matter. She needs to grow up. But again, you're a player in the game. It's not all her fault. Stop playing.
2006-11-04 06:15:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not wrong to want to make love to her, but it hurts like crazy when she rejects you, so from that standpoint, it's not a good idea to try. If I were you, I would find me somewhere else to sleep, rather than in the bed with her. It makes you recall all the good times you had there together, and they will never be again. Move to the couch! Good Luck!!
2006-11-04 05:36:21 · answer #8 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude, if she asked you for a divorce and will not have sex with you than it is time to move on and stop being codependent. She obviously doesn't want to do it with you, and you're just beating yourself up by continuing to try.
Take care of yourself first. To thy ownself be true. Move out and get your own place and start the healing process.
2006-11-04 05:55:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not wrong...you are still married to her. But you are setting yourself up for some major pain down the road.
Better for you to move out of the bed and onto the couch. You'll be protecting your heart.
2006-11-04 05:38:50 · answer #10 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your job is to fix your marriage first.
At this stage what you want, including making love to your wife, should be secondary when it comes to saving your marriage.
The challenge is to go where love, honor, and cherish takes you... Don't settle for doing less than your best.
It never has been easy!
2006-11-04 05:40:37 · answer #11 · answered by john_e_29212 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋