Earlier this week I saw a post on here where a woman was talking about hiring a private eye to investigate her daughters boyfriend. Somebody mention the link http://background-records.net/ as a good place to find info online. Well I checked out the site and entered my sisters boyfriends name and found out that he was convicted of assualt in 1996 and served 24 months in prison. I know this is him because the name, date of birth, and address are all the same. I am sure my sister doesn't know (and I am damn sure our dad doesn't know).......should I tell my sister or our dad? I don't know how to handle this situation.
In a few weeks I am going to be sitting at Thanksgiving dinner with my family. I can't go through that day holding onto this secret but I am afraid that my sister will hate me for telling her.
2006-11-04 05:13:47 · 12 answers · asked by Jennifer 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
just tell her
2006-11-04 05:15:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd recommend telling her verbally. Telling her in written form might be simpler, but the only really useful way to do that is with a copy of his felony record. Then again, that particular written form might be more effective than verbal telling.
If your question isn't really "how" but whether you should tell her, that's a difficult question. I've always believed that truth is better than deception, no matter how much the truth hurts in the short term.
One approach is to soft-peddle the question. Say that you heard something, and thought she might want to find out for sure. Online records have been wrong, so they're not a sure thing. And the actual circumstances of the incident might make all the difference. A drunken brawl is one thing -- a mugging is another.
Bottom line, if it were me or my sister, I think it's important that she at least ask her fiancee the question. It's hard to believe someone would hate you for suggesting that she be careful and find out for herself.
2006-11-04 05:28:12 · answer #2 · answered by coragryph 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you know for sure she doesn't know? What goes on between couples in the privacy of their relationship no one else ever knows.
First find out what your sister does know and fill in the gaps on what she doesn't.Not in a judgemental way either.
So this guy is an ex-con, it's possible he's turned his life around or there could be other circumstances of the conviction you do not know. It's possible that if you have a good relationship with this guy, that you could advise him to tell your sister him self, that would be the best thing.
2006-11-04 05:30:45 · answer #3 · answered by mythoughts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there any way you can let her know via another person so that it doesn't come straight from you?You might want to find out a little more about the assualt first also. Maybe she knows and just hasn't said anything,(and why would she?) Maybe your best bet is to get him alone and ask him about it, Tell him someone informed you of it, He maybe completely changed and won't mind answering. You knpw what on second thought tell your dad, let him handle it and you stay out of it. Good Luck.
2006-11-04 05:30:33 · answer #4 · answered by Margie R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her.
In fact I would tell her in front of him and your dad, so he can't candy coat or explain it away when no one else is around.
She might be mad at you, but would you rather that she suffered at the hands of this creep after they were married (and even worse, have a couple of kids)? She will get over it, and maybe it will help her to make better choices.
2006-11-04 05:30:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your sister will not thank you for speaking out .
when a woman loves a man , she is ready to give up anything and anyone to be with the man she loves , so just give her a life insurance policy as her wedding gift and make sure you put your name down on the benefactor column.
you will prove your point and get your reward in due course.
2006-11-04 05:50:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
say it str8 up...don't play ring around the rosey and beat around the bush...it'll make her hate u more if yu do...
saying things straight up may hurt for a little while but in the long run, it will NOT hurt as much as finding out after playing a guessing game kinda thing
2006-11-04 05:22:03 · answer #7 · answered by Lina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your sister. Tell her you are happy that she has found someone to love, but that you are worried about her because he is a felon. Be ready to show her the information.
2006-11-04 13:56:37 · answer #8 · answered by Kathe H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a group meeting with your family and the couple, is one idea. Then ask him if there's something he wants to say about his past...maybe before or after the holiday.
2006-11-04 05:16:43 · answer #9 · answered by Reba K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her........but be prepared for her to be up set because you stuck your nose in her boyfriends business.
2006-11-04 05:24:00 · answer #10 · answered by firewomen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just sit her down alone and explain what you have found out about this guy
2006-11-04 05:15:39 · answer #11 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋