My son (age 30 ) gets together with a male friend from college (whom we never met or heard of) and says they are going to share an apartment . Now together 2 or 3 years they decided to purchase a house . Let me tell you as a mother it seems to me something is not normal with this situation . Also ever since this living situation came up my son has distant himself from all of his family and old friends.
2006-11-04 04:55:17 · 34 answers · asked by Patches 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Let me tell you something, Mommy. Your son might be gay and the reason he is a little more distant than before is because he knows you don't want him to be gay. Get over it and accept him the way he is. He is your son, no matter what and I know you love him. Show him that you love him just the way he is and that you will always support him. Ask to meet his friend, be open minded and invite him and his friend to Thanksgiving Dinner at your house.
2006-11-04 04:58:00 · answer #1 · answered by fisch_maegg 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I suppose there is the slight chance that your son and his friend are straight and simply looking to make an investment together... maybe that is what you were hoping to hear when you asked this question.
It seems normal to me for a gay couple. Because you said "something is not normal" it sounds like you would disapprove of a gay relationship. This may be why your son has chosen to distance himself from you and his family.
Since he has been with this person for several years and they are purchasing a house together, that would mean they are committed to each other. If it is difficult for you to accept that he may be gay, maybe it will help if you can be happy that your son may have found someone to share his life with.
The guestion you might really need to ask is can you accept your son if he's gay? If you love him and want him in your life, then do yourself a favor and invite him and his friend to dinner. Maybe do a little research on gay relationships and chat with other parents of gay children before hand so you can come to terms with it.
2006-11-04 05:48:46 · answer #2 · answered by bluestem0916 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, here is what I think. You all have never heard of this friend. That's the first sign. Second, they moved into an apartment together for 2 or 3 years. Third, they are going to purchase a house together. Fourth , and far most your son has distant himself from everyone that he loves. It's pretty obvious that they (he and the other guy) are in a serious relationship and are taking it to the next level. You may not approve of it and that's why he rather leave you in the dark. But this male friend of his he is in love with and wants to be there with him. You may not get a invention to the ceremony but you best believe they are in love and your son don't want your rejection of his choice of companionship. He may feel you'll be very disappointed in him so he'd rather keep it the way it is. You knew this before you asked this question didn't you mom? Mother's instincts are usually right. That still your child regardless to who he chose to be with. Love him even more. Cause if you think about it he could do a whole lot worst. Good Luck and GOD BLESS!!!!!
2006-11-04 05:07:53 · answer #3 · answered by kryptonnite2000 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He's gay and doesn't know how to tell you. He's distancing himself because he probably fears rejection by you and/or the rest of the family. Why is it you've never met your son's friend if they've lived together 2 or 3 years? Is it that you already know in the back of your mind that he's gay and you don't want to face it? Do you want to believe that it's a phase or that this "friend" is somehow to blame and that if he weren't in the picture your son wouldn't be gay?
These are all questions you need to ask yourself. You also need to sit down with your son and have a talk, openly and honestly. If you truly love your son you will accept him for who he is, not whom you might want him to be.
2006-11-04 05:00:31 · answer #4 · answered by nquizzitiv 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well here are some things I would think of:
He is gay and can not tell you
He likes this friend and they decided to pitch their money together to buy a home. Not good as too many things can happen here.
He is living with a manipulator and someone who likes to control him.
The guy he lives with is a zealot, nut, a person who likes control and power of their friends.
It is never good when a person loses contact with family and friends. Many gays do this when they are in fear of the family and friends finding out about their secret. But if could also be control and power on the persons part like a cult. Cults do this to remove them from familiar environment. They can only control if they get full control of the victim (cutting off from family and friends).
You need to get him alone and have a talk with him. Alone is the secret here. You need to ask him flat out why he is living with a man when he is 30. He may beat around the bush but confront him (even ask if he is gay and tell him it is ok). If your son is gay accept him. It is not your fault or his as I believe gays are born gay. They try to fight it much of their lives by dating women when in fact they like men.
Please give him your love. He is your son and deserves your respect.
2006-11-04 05:04:37 · answer #5 · answered by Nevada Pokerqueen 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yea, that house purchase would worry me given the past history. People can distance themselves from old friends as they get older, that wouldn't ESPECIALLY worry me.
What would it mean to you if he was gay? Were you hoping for grandchildren? I'm straight myself, but apart from the kids, it really is nothing to worry about- gay people can be super nice, and being gay is not a matter of upbringing. It has to do with genetics, and also the more older brothers a guy has, the more likely he will be gay.
2006-11-04 05:09:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well as a mother you should know but since he is 30 yrs of age it becomes a bit hard to keep a track on him. Sitll 2-3 years are a lot to know about a person. You should try talking your son into a family night and bring the girl with him. Talk to the girl and judge her nature wise. That might give you some releif !
Pleasure to help !
2006-11-04 05:00:36 · answer #7 · answered by Salik K 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
It sound to me that your son don't want to hear what everybody is going to say, eventhough it's plain to see what's going on, he and his friend wants to stay in the closet about it. Your son is a grown man, and able to make his own mistakes, still you as his mother has pleanty of uncondistional love for him, yet it's not much that you can do, so just make sure that it's his dicition to live his life in this manner and not his friends alone. Oh, and stay with him for support, because it could get heard for him.
2006-11-04 05:04:42 · answer #8 · answered by Jerome E 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you and your mother and father need to visit your son ands sit down and ask him what is going on with you why all the sudden you stop talking to us is there anything you want to tell us, you might not think we understand we or your family we love you what ever it is we can work this out I don't care what other people think I am your mother your a grown man but to me your still my little man you can tell mother anything I love and I don't want anything to happen to you look at me and tell me what on your mind I am your mother I be here for you no matter what. please let us help you if I did not care I would be here your my baby boy we miss you just tell me .
2006-11-04 05:03:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would think that he was having a tough time. Maybe what your thinking is true also. It seems that him and this man might very well have a relationship hun. Its not something to get upset about either. Just talk to him and be calm. Ask him whats going on, how he is, that sort of thing. Maybe he's nervous about showing his love or warmth for another person to his family cuz he doesnt want to upset you. ♥
2006-11-04 05:01:18 · answer #10 · answered by ◙Blue-Eyed♥Red-Headed♥Bella◙ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋