My husband is 34 years old he has a couple of friends young guys who are always getting in trouble with law. OK question is why do this men want to act like their young friends instead of being themselves they want to be other people and act like kids? Oh by the way we have two kids together and he has three other kids apart.
2006-11-04 04:10:42 · 15 answers · asked by juanatjtorres 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As long as your man isn't getting in trouble with the law also then it really creates no problems. Sad truth is though that people judge others by the company they keep. Therefore your man may be gaining a reputation that he neither deserves or has earned as some may look at him and say "run with dogs you catch fleas". Speak with your husband and tell him of your concerns and how you are afraid that it may affect your children by his choice of acquaintances. Best of luck and I hope that it is just a phase that your husband is going through and that he outgrows it for everyone involved soon.
2006-11-04 04:17:14 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dunno why some guys act like this but i personally have known a few. I think it might be a way for them not to deal with the fact that they themselfs are actually getting older. Alot of people dont want to deal with the aspect of getting older. Some just want to stay young forever, and sometimes thats a good thing. Your only as old as you feel right? Maybe finding things to do with the family that make him feel younger and keeping him busy and away from those younger boys will help... OR you could use this as a last resort..an ULTIMATIUM. I actually had to go this far myself. "LOOK ITS GONNA BE AND THE KIDS OR YOUR CHILDISH FRIENDS AND THE POSSIABILITY OF JAIL- YOU CHOOSE AND CHOOSE NOW CAUSE IM NOT GONNA ALLOW THIS AROUND THE CHILDREN." For me this worked once he realized that the children were being affected by this and that I was serious things changed. I might add that this did not happen over night but its a work in progress and that there will be set backs, but if you work together, anything is possiable. Good Luck and Best Wishes For You and Yours.
2006-11-04 12:25:19 · answer #2 · answered by cjpburgess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people never grow up - ever. Maybe no one has made your husband look at the reality of what he is doing and how he is cheating his family but most of all, himself. Unfortunately, it may be too late when he wakes up from his immature haze to see what parts of life he has blown.
Some people are immature and do not get a level of maturity until reality slaps them in the face with a mess: like my son. My son is 39 and he just realized that he has to take life more seriously because they went through hurricane Rita and almost lost everything. Now he is working hard and trying to build back their lives.
Maybe your husband could use some counseling or some good strong talk from you or his parents concerning the future of his family and their well being, and himself
2006-11-04 12:17:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You husband does not have any disorder. He is perfectly fine. He is going through a phase right now, and in this phase he relates best with young guys, maybe because they won't challenge his actions. There is reason for his being in this phase ie. long financial struggles, work/home/private life balance, pressures of family management etc....I would request you to approach this not from the 'consequences' of his actions, but the root causes and help him accept/resolve/work with u on making it better. When your husband leaves this phase, he will dump these younger guys in a second! Are you sure there isn't something else going on which can help you, help him, resolve his current phase?
2006-11-04 12:49:41 · answer #4 · answered by jackbauer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a very early case of a midlife crisis, which may be due to so many kids & early start with families. Most guys want to retain the feeling of being young invincible studs forever, and exaggerate in showing that when they start feeling that time is about to pass, so they try to prove to themselves they still "got it," they're still "the man." That's the answer to your "why," but if you're about to follow up with "how to handle that," don't count on me - I don't think anyone has a good answer to that.
2006-11-04 12:16:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My bf is 34 as well. I don't think that alot of men grow up until about 45. Wow, i have along way to go. My man is the exact same way. Let him be as long as he doesn't get into any trouble. And if he does, than it is his own fault...
2006-11-04 12:14:44 · answer #6 · answered by katrina k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have an immature sounding husband. Talk to him about your concerns, andfrom his answers you will have to make a decision. Is he worth staying with or not. If you are leaning toward the later, then I suggest counseling. If you can get him to go great but if you have to go alone. The counselor can help you see where you marriage is headed. Good Luck!!!
2006-11-04 12:17:35 · answer #7 · answered by Sonny Boy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If these young friends are his primary friends, then he needs to get professional help. This is not a good psychological sign (extreme midlife crisis). If he only does it once in a while, he needs to grow up and realize that he is being an idiot.
2006-11-04 12:14:17 · answer #8 · answered by jasonheavilin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe when he is with his younger friends he IS being himself. A man that has 5 children with at least 2 women doesn't sound like he is very mature. But, this is purely my opinion.
2006-11-04 12:12:57 · answer #9 · answered by Your Best Fiend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As my wife always says any man can make babies but it takes a real man to raise a family.... make this point to him and ask him if he is man enough and have him prove it to you.. a real man will step up to the plate...and take that swing...
A mans family should come before his friends...
Good luck
2006-11-04 12:23:46 · answer #10 · answered by hononegah1988 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋