is sex important enough to break a marriage?

Question

i've been having an affair and the sex is GREAT with the other guy!! the sex with my husband was never great and now i can't even think about having sex with him. i feel guilty about cheating on him. but i'm a very sensual person and i need that physical excitment. i'm very confused. serious advice please

Answer 1

You've already broken up your marriage. He just doesn't know it yet. Why did you not teach him how to please you?
You feel guilty, oh well.

Its hard to be remotely sympathetic to a liar and cheat.

You are embarking on a painful journey where you get to spread around a lifetimes worth of pain in a few months. Why? Because your husband does not do it for you? Where was your input?
You are responsible for your own happiness.
I don't know how you will come up with the balls to tell a guy you are thinking leaving because he is not as good in bed. Way to rip his heart out and castrate the guy too. Rest assured that you will need to find another reason for your straying. If you tell hubby that he will be ruined for many years to come.

What has your husband done to deserve this?
Abuse, non support, no job, does not help around the house, does not like your parents?
Presumably your husband had some good qualities once and does not deserve to be treated like this. Get some self respect woman.

Answer 2

Many marriages have ended over sex. It's an important way to express your love for a person, in a very physincal way.

I have a few questions for you. If you're such a sensual person, and you've never really had good sex with your husband, why did you marry him?

If you married him because you decided that you could do without the physical stimulation for the love you feel for him, then how did you end up sleeping with someone else? That doesn't sound like love.

Do you love the person you're sleeping with or is it purely a physical attraction?

I suggest you (and your husband) speak with a marriage counselor.

Answer 3

first of all, how is your marriage..other than the sex part..if it isn't great either, you've found your answer..i would add that a clandestine affair will always be more exciting...i am a woman and sex is an important part of my life; there is nothing wrong with that...just keep in mind that you need to be happy both inside and outside of the bedroom..and as others suggested, you can coach him into being a great lover...but what is the rest of the relationship like? also, there is no reason to fess up and tell him if there is a chance of working things out..sometimes honesty is not the best policy..you know life is life and **** happens...if you CAN and most importantly WANT things to work with your husband, it's up to you. unfortunately, the newness and excitement can wear off quickly in a sexual relationship..you and your husband both need to work on keeping it fresh and exciting..it can be done, just needs a bit of thought....plan ahead..if you can afford to, plan a date to meet your husband at a hotel for a "hot" time...or meet up in the kitchen with nothing on and a glass of wine and a twinkle in your eye..it seems like this should all just fall together and work, but reality is that it doesn't..someone recently said that marriage is like a job...you have to work at it everyday..good luck and don't feel bad about yourself..you are human..afterall..

Answer 4

well honestly since you already betrayed the trust of marriage, you might as well go for the guy you enjoy having sex with. i do believe that sex is a very important factor in a marriage, if you can't be intimate and share that couple bond and enjoy it together, how can you during a norm day have convo's together, laugh without the sexual tentions flairing aruments. it is possible to have a marrage without intamacy, but there has to have already been a bond, like if an accedent had accured and one party is unable to have sex. but even with that there are alternatives, like toys for instance. i know that when my hubby and i hit a rut of bad or boring sex we have to spice it up, and that means if toys will help bring them on. but i really don't see how you can work on the marrage until you come clean about the affair, from there you can eigher try for a better sex life or go ahead and end it.

Answer 5

Your not communicating with your husband so therefore he probably has no clue that you are not satisfied. You need to tell him how you want it and how you like it. You went out and had an affair already so what is done is done. If you really want the marriage to work then I suggest you come clean for his sake and for your sake. Sex is very important in a marriage I do not care what people say but communication is also very important you need to tell your spouse how you feel it really is not very hard.

Answer 6

When you married your guy, you made certain commitments, including one to be honest with him. You also said you'd forsake all others. Well, about half of all marriages end 'cause one or the other partner proves too immature to live up to those adult promisses.

You need to be honest wth your husband. Sure, it'll hurt, but the sooner you level with him and get the f*u*c*k out of his life, the sooner he'll heal and be able to move on and the sooner you'll lose the guilt - if, in fact, you really do feel any guilt whatsoever - which I doubt.

There are other ways to deal with physical imcompatability without cheating. You didn't even try, did you? No counselling, none of that stuff. That's why you're detestable - you didn't even try. Go on, dump the guy. Don't tell him you've been f*u*c*k*i*n*g behind his back, just tell him you no longer want to be married to him. Then just move out. It does not matter which of you files for a divorce, and since you're the one who wants out, you might's well do it.

Poor guy. He could've been taught how to fulfil your needs. Men usually are willing to try - but you weren't. Much easier to find a jerk to poke you and stroke your ugly and childish ego, huh? Go on - do the right thing for once in your life, let your husband go and then stay the h*e*l*l outa MY neighborhood - we ain't nice to creatures like you!

Answer 7

you have been having an affair for great sex. Shame on you. A relationship can't survive on sex alone....there's other needs and a lot of time to fill.
You need to decide between working on your marriage and stop the affair, or let go of your husband so he can be with someone who appreciates him. Why couldn't you make your sexual needs known to your husband and show him what you want before you decided to cheat on him?

Answer 8

We have a poem that said "Neighbor's grass always more beautiful than ours". Even though your husband's sex is good and hot, it's more tempting if you do with other person.

How if you never cheat your husband, and then you know that he's having hot sex with other girl/s. What will you feel?

You already destroy your marriage and you should be ashamed of that. If you always need sex adventures, you should not be married. You can be freely find guys to have sexes in the street.

Answer 9

Sex isn't everything in a marriage but honesty & trust are. You need to grow up! You'll never solve marriage problems by going outside your marriage. If you plan on continuing, I hope you let your husband go and remember, there is karma & I hope you experience all the pain you're causing with your selfishness.

Answer 10

so often affairs are what makes for great sex but if you and your husband have always not been good in bed then there is something missing in your relationship and you won't be happy. Try to work things out with your husband after all you did take the wedding vows but if its not going to work then let him go so that he can find someone to be happy with, who knows maybe you two weren't meant to be.