How can I get my 3 girls to help with chores while I work? Ages 12, 11,6??

Question

Im looking for sugestions to help motivate them or perhaps get them to be more responsiable. Im exhausted and im about to give up. And the whole allowance thing did not work. Any advice is so welcome.

Answer 1

make it real simple
they get money each of them per week...
and then is the chores are not done..the HAVE to pay back this money..and you make it so they owe you more than they get if they do not do their chores...
and when they go into the red, stuff like TV, radio, video, CD player MP3 player and going out of the house, telephone service ( in coming and out going calls ) and of course snacks and deserts ALL stop...all at once..not a little at a time..ALL stop..for as long as it takes them to get back into the black with their chores....and if you find that one is not doing it and the others are..you have a few choices here...stop ALL of them from having anything ...this works because the other one or two will get on the one that is not doing their part...or do not give just that one anything until the are back in the black.....and I mean not just a few pennies in the black..you make it so they have to get a few dollars in the black...you assign each and every chore a money value...so when they do a chore they get some for it...they get less for doing a chore and you charge more for not doing a chore....not fair..maybe so....but it is not fair you have to do this to get them to help out around the house..is it...
so try it ..it just may help you out....
and make it so the job they do has to be near PERFECT..and also make it so they are doing many more chores than they have now..so it frees up some of your time..and tell them..if they would have done it the first time..they would have less to do now...so when you ask them to do something in the future..maybe they should just do it....
but you need to be real fair but FIRM with it....no matter how much they scream and cry...

good luck
smile
and
God Bless

Answer 2

Part of it, perhaps, it getting them to understand that these chores are not a favour to mom, or a way to get stuff, but a life long responsibility they will always have. It is a part of everyday life.

Some kids like charts. You could get some cool stickers and make up a chore chart. Perhaps make it so they can alternate which chores they do each week.

You need to find out what thier currency is. For the 6 year old, she probably has a few favorite toys. The 11 and 12 year old, if they dont have favorite toys, they must have something like thier stereos, phone time with friends, video games...you see what I mean. You could probably use tv time for all of them. You can use this stuff to get the message across that if they cant meet thier responsibilities and do thier chores, they dont get to enjoy the things they love to do in thier leisure time, whatever that may be.

Perhaps instead of taking away things like allowance, tv time, toys you can make it in a way that they earn those things by doing thier chores.

I know it is exhausting but you have to find a way to show them that the world comes to stop when they dont live up to thier responsibilities. It might take a while, especially if they have been getting away with not doing thier chores for a while now. The major thing is consistency, as hard as that can be when you are exhausted, you just got to keep truckin.

Good luck

Answer 3

Chores is such a nasty word for such an important contribution in a social environment. Kids love to help out or feel needed. What tasks would seem less like a chore to them but still be a contribution to the household? They can choose.

O.K. they had their choice, now plan B if that failed. Present them with a bill at the end of each day for supplies and services rendered (meals, showers, housing, itemize down to the toothpick) and ask them how they think you should be reimbursed.

Answer 4

Well you have to make it less of an option for them and more of a responsibility that they must take care of. What do they like? Do they play video games, watch TV, go play outside? Restrict these activities till they get their chores done. Also offer rewards of some sort as well though, such as getting Ice Cream on Friday after School if all of them get their chores done. This way if one of them is slacking the others will pressure them to do a better job.
Best of Luck.

Answer 5

for each chore that they do give them a slip(like a size of a bookmark) and tell them to keep it in a safe spot. different chores call for different colors. such as white for putting away thier dishes or making thier bed(white-1 point) blue for something bigger like cleaning thier room if it's messy or doing the whole families dishes(blue-2 points) and if they do some thing great like keeping thier room spotless for 2 or 3 weeks then give them a red slip (3 points. count how many points they have at the end of the month and let them pick from a basket of toys, games ect...
it will be a healthy competion for them! good luck!

Answer 6

Every kid has something that is important to them. Figure out what would hurt each one the most. For my older daughter, I would tell her that if she didn't clean her room, I would pull the plug on her computer. That's all it took! My younger daughter liked to play outside... not inside, so restricting her to the house worked if she didn't cooperate. Figure out what makes them tick and pull the plug on it. Stick to your guns and don't give in. Once you've done this a couple of time, they will know you mean it and you will not need to use it much.

Also, working moms often do not have much time for the kids. Tell them to have the house clean when you get home and you will rent a movie and bring refreshments with you so you can all enjoy something together. Just an example, but think of things you can do with them to have fun if they have things "ready" and that will give all of you time for love and fun. All discipline is built on relationship, so you need to build that relationship and make it strong.

God Bless,
Sue

Answer 7

They need to have some tasks. Make a list of all the jobs that need to be done daily. Then divide the list into 3 groups and rotate those jobs weekly.
If they don't do it take away their favorite things. That's what I do and it works eventually. I took about 6 of my daughters new birthday presents away for her having bad attitude on 6 different occasions. She got smart, pulled her head out and that's that.
Your girls are too old not to be contributing to the needs of the home. Teach your oldest one how to do laundry!! Your teaching her life skills not just using her for free labor!!

Answer 8

i put up a graph on the refrigerator and i bought the stickers (stars) that teachers use. deoending on the age of my children rather it be the 15 yr old boy, 8 yr old girl, and yes even the 3yr ol boy and the dificuly of the chore they get a certain amount of stars for each job. each star is worth .25. let's face it, i'm a single mom, i can't afford much more than that. on friday we take down the chart and start tallying up the stars (= $$$) and they get payed. who ever had the most stars not only gets the most $$$.

Answer 9

get a chalk board and tell them they can earn points at the end of 1 month who ever have 5 points each day (and that will give them a star each week )get something extra ,it could be an extra hour on phone ,computer and extra cash,get a coupon book from a store , the movie and they can earn a coupon,you will be surprise at who will have all the stars in a week

Answer 10

Refuse to do things for them ie: tell them unless they start helping out or you won't take them over to their friends house, no phone or internet..etc etc. I am suprised the allowance concept didn't work, cause I jumped to my chores for $$.