should i trust her?

Question

Should i confront her?
Hi people....To start with..i dont know what i did is right r wrong...I hapen to know my GF's email passwords(she had told me herself).So i just happened to check her mails out.We had been havin some tension in the relationship for some time now and i have noticed lately that she's double minded about the whole relationship.She cant discuss much about our future together.So when i checked her mails,she had wriiten to a friend of hers that she actually wants SOMEONE in her life but she's so TIRED of it too.She also seems to be keeping the relationship undercover from her friends.I dont know if its worth hanging on to this relationship after knowing at all this r just wait and see wat happens and then make a decision.I dont know what to expect now..plz help. Im 30 and shes 26

Answer 1

when a relationship is bad enough that you have to check e-mails or cell phones it is just time to get out of the relationship. The trust is gone and if she ever finds out she would probably leave you. If it feels broke it probable is broke

Answer 2

ultimately this is your decision but I think that it isn't a matter of your trusting her that you should be concerned with.I think that the matter at hand is "does she want to be in a relationship with you?" if she hides your relationship from friends and has concerns about being with someone...I would say that you should continue to look for Mrs. Right. Because it seems you are with Mrs. Rightnow and that really isn't what either of you need. lets face it, you are getting to the age where you are starting to think about settleing down and you are wasting time with someone who isn't in the same place. I suggest you at least take a time out, to learn about what you from each other. If it is the same thing then work on things if it isn't the same, it's time to move on.

Answer 3

I don't think it was a mistake to read through her email. She wasn't being honest with you and communicating these things to you.... so, you deserve to know what's going on...considering the FACT that she's taking time from YOUR life as well. I wouldn't "wait" to see what happens... This is YOUR life as well....Don't wait around to see what SHE decides to do with it...

Of course I would confront her and let her know WHY you felt the need to read through her email.... Tell her it's time to get HONEST with YOU...
She's not in this relationship with her friends...it's with YOU.

Oh...and these ppl who are telling you ignorant things like "when it's gone this far, it's best to get out"....
That's just stupid in itself... That's not how you get to honesty, which is what is most important in any relationship. Those are the folks who also ask "why is the divorce rate so high"?

This just seems too simple to me.... Again, inquire... She wasn't being honest and you knew there was something amiss.... I don't think you were going into her email to be "controlling" or abuse her trust... SHE ABUSED YOUR TRUST by NOT BEING HONEST with YOU!

Good Luck....

Answer 4

First of all, Stay out of her e-mail. She trusted you enough to give you the password and you have been untrustworthy yourself. Just talk to the woman. Give her some flowers and tell her your feelings and see if you are what she wants. If not, Move on and try to be a bit more trustworthy in your next relationship.

Answer 5

Sounds like you need to find another gal, one who will want you for you. I've heard of guys having cold feet, but gals? Either you are a jerk, and she needs the courage to leave you, or she is a goofball that has no concept of a serious relationship. Either way, time to pick up your toys and move on. Learn from your mistakes if any, and make someone happy. Good luck.

Answer 6

Want the situation resolved? COMMUNICATION!!! Only she can explain why she hasn't told her friends, on which, I agree with you, it is highly suspect. But you also have to come clean about checking her e-mails, too. That in itself is a large breach of trust. It sounds like neither one of you talk much. Set aside some time to work this out, because it doesn't sound like either one of you are very communicative with the other. Good luck.

Answer 7

That's a messed up situation to be in. At 30 and 26 you might think your relationship to be mature enough to get past this. It sounds like something a high school student might do.

You may want to confront her about it or atleast begin to dig a little. It sounds shady but sometimes things might seem worse than they are.

Do you trust her?

Answer 8

If you are finding yourslf reading her emails, I think it shows already you don't fully trust her. Should she trust you for doing that? You say you have tensions..it shows by both of your actions. Time for a talk...dont need to mention you read her emails..just that you feel there is alot of tension and to be honest with each other. If she is not wanting to discuss or open up, you might have to wonder to yourself if you want to be with somone so closed up.

Answer 9

The fact that she's keeping you a secret from her friends ought to be a big red flag...I'd want to know the reason for that.
The fact that she gave you her passwords seems odd too.
It might be there's NOTHING you've done wrong...sometimes people just grow apart and have a hard time communicating it.

Answer 10

First of all.......Big mistake reading her emails!! If you wanted to salvage anything from the relationship, you may have just blown it with your untrustworthy behaviour. This shows her that you DON'T trust her and that my friend is the base of a true loving relationship.... Good Luck!!