My husband isn't that great looking and the reason that I started dating him and then married him is that he would do anything for me and kiss the ground that I walk on so he was great because my last husband was a cheat and abusive. and now he treats me like crap. I think that I need to find a way to put him into check. Because right now I feel that I would be better off alone.
2006-11-04 02:35:37 · 10 answers · asked by smallsassy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I hear you and I have a bit of a warning for you.
My husband has always adored me and everyone knew it. But then he left me for someone else and I had to do some real soul searching. He stayed away for awhile and I filed for divorce which made us both realize how much we truly needed each other.
Pay attention to him and try to find out what the root of the problem is.. Seek counseling even if you have to go alone.
2006-11-04 02:53:28 · answer #1 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask is this a passing attitude? Some guys can't hold on to the knight in shining armor bit all the time. Some times this armor gets a little tarnished. I would remind him how you handled the last abusive husband and ask him what makes him think he's so special you wouldn't react the same way to him? Next question.... Did you treat him the same way he treated you? Do anything he asked, kiss the ground he walked on? Is this a give and take relationship or just a take relationship. Because if you've taken and taken, sometimes you just take it all and there's nothing left. "Are you a user"?
2006-11-04 10:44:40 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I think you need to stop being so stuck on yourself and realize there's two folks here...not just you. Failing that, you're right...you probably would be better off alone.
If a guy is treating you badly, and the guy before him did too, you have a pattern. The pattern is the way you decide what guys to date. Date the same kind of guy, whether you think he looks good or not, and you're going to get treated the same way. If you don't change the way you decide what guy you'll date, is there any surprise that the kind of guy you end up with doesn't change?
Take control of your life and the choices you make!
2006-11-04 11:00:14 · answer #3 · answered by fishman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know even an ugly person has self-respect and a feelings of self worth. You married this man for less than honorable reasons, and now karma is kicking in. He's not a dog! So, don't treat him like one. Move on and get a divorce. That way he can meet and marry a real woman who will love and care for him for who he is.
2006-11-04 10:57:20 · answer #4 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to figure out what his needs are and meet them. That will start communication between you and him. Then you can also tell him what he can do to meet your needs. It's a two-way street, and communication is the key.
Don't try to stifle him, though. You have to let him have his own space. When two people get together, they don't become one. They become three. Who you are individually and who you are as a couple. You have to work to follow your own goals as well we work on doing things as a couple, he has to be able to do what he wants, too.
You won't get the waiting on hand over foot that you had when you were dating. That was him wooing you. It is exciting, but it mellows over time. You have to learn to appreciate the growing together that happens over time. It's not the whirl-wind relationship, but it does have its advantages. Unfortunately, most people don't realize this until they break up and they start missing it.
2006-11-04 10:38:37 · answer #5 · answered by nondescript 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My hubby was like that once So nice and kiss the ground i walked on but now he is like that. I haven't found a way to turn him back YET.
2006-11-04 10:38:42 · answer #6 · answered by nowandthenandonlyme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he realized why you dated him in the first place and he is feeling used. Therefore, he takes it out on you and hopes you will leave so he won't be made out to be the bad person.
2006-11-04 10:45:34 · answer #7 · answered by ladysteelersince1976 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound VERY selfish!!!
You want a man to treat you like nothing more than a princess??? What the hell is in it for him???
2006-11-04 10:38:57 · answer #8 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your willing to leave because he is suddenly treating you badly, then tell him so.
2006-11-04 10:37:35 · answer #9 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how you feel and what you are going to do
2006-11-04 10:38:44 · answer #10 · answered by mnm4213 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋