when do lazy teens leave home .?

Question

i have 4 boys, the older ones r 17, 20, the 20 yr has just got a job working at pizza hut, the other one 17 goes collage 2 days week, he had learning complications at school so dont know if this puts him off certain situations, i have twins who r 10 they ok, im expecting another in april not planned at all. worrys over that too with being 37yrs, back to older boys never go bed till 2-3 am they not as quite as they could be i cant sleep right when they up, most time they in there bedroom on pc & play station i tell them its not fair etc if it doesnt stop they will have to get a flat, i mean what will it be like when baby comes i need peace to rest now any ideas help!!!!!!

Answer 1

Kick the older ones out.

Answer 2

hmm, your probably won't like this answer but...the 17 year old is still a minor and you are legally binded to care for him as your son. The 20 year old, does have a job now..it is very hard to start out on ones own..the cost of living is so high. There is no way he would be able to afford a place of his own right now. Do you have any extra cash you can give him to help him out?..Perhaps if he was to share a place with a few friends?. The other 2 kids are only 10. So really, it is just the 20 year old you are frustrated over. The fact you are having another child is not their doing..or should it have a factor in their care at home. They are still your children. You do have alot to contend with, but..you can't expect the children you have to go around feeling bad they are there because of fiances. They have a right to be cared for properly.. perhaps you should think about taking birth control after this baby so there are no new surprises for you.

Answer 3

Mine are 18 and 20, and to be frank, they can't afford to get their own places. The 20 year old is working 27 to 40 hours a week, depending on how much they need him, at 7.50 and hour. The 18 year old just started a job making the same at 40 hours a week. There is no way they can afford to get an apartment of their own as the cheapest one bedroom apartments are in excess of $700.00 a month, and they would still have to pay electric and their phone.

They are each giving me $100 a week now because there are no free lunches in this world.

If you are in a positioin where you don't require the extra income to supplement the household, you could just put the "rent" from them into a savings account and in a year tell them it is their moving money. That they should consider getting a two bedroom apartment and splitting the bills between them.

My youngest is working a heavy labor type job and is now too tired to stay up till the wee hours playing music and games. The older one gets to go in later so he is still staying up making music till late.

It is just a whole different world out there compared to when we were young.

Answer 4

It must be really hard for you. They're your sons and you love them, and their inconsiderate behaviour must be very hurtful.

I agree with what others have said in that you have to draw a line somewhere. It's your house. You get to decide what happens in it and what is not allowed.

If your sons are not prepared to behave in a way that shows consideration for you and the younger children I think you should ask them to leave.

They can go to the local council and ask to speak to someone in the homelessness service.

Being pregnant (and especially at your age - no offence, you're not old at all, just a little on the old side for pregnancy) you need peace and quiet and a good night's sleep every night.

And when the baby arrives you're going to need these things even more, especially if you're up in the middle of the night with him/her.

So I think you're going to have to put your foot down. I know it will be hard, but it will be best for everyone in the long run. Your sons need to learn that they can't just do what they want with no consideration for anyone else. One day they will probably thank you for teaching them this important lesson.

Good luck. I hope everything goes well for you.

And congratulations in advance for when the baby arrives.

Answer 5

You lay down the law. YOU are the mother AND you are pregnant and you need your sleep. It's your house - they either like it or lump it. You do not have to put up with this. What is your husband/partner saying about all this? Confiscate the pc/play station - get a friend to hold onto it for a few days while your sons learn some respectful behaviour. When you return it to the house - you tell them your new rules. If they object - show them the door. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

P.S. Hope the next one's a girl! Good luck!

Answer 6

You won't be being mean, by starting to lay down the law you will be helping them learn some self respect ...it's time they contributed, don't make excuses for them, they have it too easy by the sounds of it. You aren't protecting them by having them around, it's harming them and making them lazy. Make some ground rules. Use the PC as a tool. Remove the power cable so they can't use it. Only at certain times. If they want to continue to live there they will have to face rules as they would away from home. If they can't obey the rules then they shall be treated like children. Kids thrive on boundaries, it lets them know where they stand, with the new arrival you are going ti have less time to be able to sort this out. Start NOW and be STRONG!
PS....if you live with your partner, they must do the same as you, both of you have to stick to your guns otherwise it will be ammunition against you.

Answer 7

tell your boys to knuckle down and get a proper job. and help out in the house with rent and food. pizza hut is only for part time students and drop outs. 3 tools a boy should not be without are a shovel a wheel barrow and a self hating attitude. you know they can't afford to leave home, so why not profit from it and contain the family as long as you can under one roof. soon enough they will sail away under their own wind, push them and they may take it as a unwanted gesture. your oldest boys get a job labouring they wont want to play play station till 3 am, they'll be out for the count before 10 pm.

Answer 8

well i know this sounds mean....and i dont intend to be mean but these 2 need a kick up the bum, give them a limited time to find a flat, even if they have to share together, 2 heads are better than one, so they can share rent and bills etc... my sons are not at home any more, my 17 yr old is at his dads, his choice...my middle son is in the forces and my eldest has a baby and lives with his girl...the eldest came home recently because he and she were fighting alot and she kept kicking him out because it was her house....lol....he stayed with me for about 8 months and it was a nightmare, i love my son but i am also used to being on my own so things changed alot when he came here... he had me up the wall...he wouldnt get a job he wouldn't get out of bed, he was online all night and sleeping all day, running up huge telephone bills by calling girls he had never met before, (internet girls) so i gave him some tough love, got the internet cut off, and packed his things and gave him 2 weeks to leave, just because he was back here he thought he was getting a free ticket...no way....i allowed it for a while then i put the clamps on and started getting on his case BIG TIME, i hated doing it but it's the only way round these situations now he's back with his girl and my home is now a happy and quiet place, you need to give your sons a wake up call.... tell them straight, oh congraulations on your pregnancy...and good luck with your boys

Answer 9

you do no longer say how previous he's: sixteen or 19? enormous distinction. nevertheless, every person who isn't responding to punishments like loss of motor vehicle and cellular telephone particularly has something occurring deep interior. He must be chemically depressed, now and back this happens extraordinarily if a teenager is lost as to what to do along with his existence: artwork or college? the two sound uninteresting to him so he'd decide to easily carry out and be lazy. I advise in case you may stand it, no longer throw him out basically yet. Insist he bypass to a counselor or you will throw him out. The counselor must be waiting to make certain the source of his laziness: regardless of if or no longer he's being lazy or if it relatively is melancholy. maximum young ones WILL turn around once you get rid of their maximum well known possessions. you may bypass the throw-out direction, yet probability is he will finally end up at pals and proceed to be lazy. by the form, 40 hours a week is alot to initiate with: perhaps 20? sturdy success!

Answer 10

Take away the pc and the playstation. That isn't helping. It's good that your 17year old goes to college. Drag your eldest to the job centre to get a better job, enroll him on a course or maybe you could even start the rent on a flat for him. You need them out to raise your 10 year olds and baby. Good luck and try and make a better job of raising the twins.

Answer 11

Quit doing things for them. Make them do their own laundry, cooking, etc. When they are out of the house hide the video games and tell them that they can't have it back until they learn to be more considerate of others in the house. Tell them if they don't like the new rules they can BOTH get jobs and move out.