Me and my gf have a beatiful 5 month old son together,things between us however just seem to be getting worse and worse.A couple of months ago, after months of hell she finally admitted she was feeling depressed and got help from the doctor and things seemed to be getting beter between us.
Recently though she seems to be getting cold and distant torwards me. no matter how much I tell her I love her and try to hold her she just does not seem to react, unless however she has had a few drinks she seems to up and become loving and caring .
I have tried asking her if she is feeling depressed again but she tells me she is feeling fine.
Do you think she is just bored of our relationship?
2006-11-04 01:48:40 · 17 answers · asked by Monkeyy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No she isn't bored, it is perfectly normal for some women to suffer from depression after having a baby, I was that way with my first child, mine went away on its own, but, some women it effects more severly, you should have her see her Doctor and he/she can help her get through it. Hormones can do weird things to a person, just hang in there, things will be alright.Baby's are hard work,especially with the first child, because you are just learning how to be a parent,it can be stressful at times.
2006-11-04 01:53:03 · answer #1 · answered by Urchin 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Post natal depression is a terrible thing, you might think she is better,but it takes a lot of time, you not only feel depressed you also feel tired and think no-one understands how you feel, and all the time you are trying to cope with a new baby (which is very tiring on it's own) as well as do everything you did before, sex becomes a chore instead of a pleasure. I'm glad she has been to the doctor, perhaps she needs to go back as the medication he has given her may need to be changed, I had about four different tablets before I found one that really worked.
I'm glad you are being caring she will need a lot of patients, help but most of all love. Good luck to you all, I hope your baby brings you lots of joy, and your girlfriend feels better soon.
2006-11-04 02:04:15 · answer #2 · answered by Janie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, congratulations on your little man.
She's not bored of you. She is depressed - tired, tearful, exhausted, moody and feeling 'I can't cope'. Her whole life has changed dramatically - her body included. She has a little chap however gorgeous he may be has suffocated her independence and freedom. Everything is disrupted by having a little one, change to plans, visits out are such a performance. She needs someone to give her a regular break way from him even if it's short so she doesn't forget herself.
Have you a good health visitor or family support?
If you don't want to take prescription drugs then try St John's Wort from health shop (funny name but it helps).
She needs to look after herself. She needs to get enough sleep -very important as this can play a huge part in depression.
Forget the intimate part of the relationship for a while - it's the last thing on her mind. She's got no time or energy barely for holding this new family together. Take everything slowly - give her hugs and offer to do things that perhaps you wouldn't normally - washing etc. Everyone who has had a baby knows there's no time to tidy up etc. Get convenience food, online shopping - anything that makes life easier for a while.
It will gradually improve promise. chin up. She loves you and her little boy - he's the priority right now for her so it's natural for you to feel left out. understand her situation. Good luck.
2006-11-04 05:06:50 · answer #3 · answered by Isabelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think it is post natal depression I've been there and done that too. It took me about an year to get back to normal with out meds which I should wish I had take durning that time but I had a Doctor who was a jerk so I try to get better on my own. But I too at the time thought I was okay. But looking back I now know I wasn't.
2006-11-04 13:24:02 · answer #4 · answered by Blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's an article I had looked up for myself; thought it might help with your situation:
Depression and Sex - Patient Information
Joseph Marzucco, PA, PhD
Loss of sex drive (Libido) is a classic symptom of depression. It is reported by at least 75% of depressed individuals. Of the other 25%, some report no change in libido while others will have a more intense sex drive.
In studies, 70% of depressed individuals report that their "sex life" is VERY important. While we do not know a great deal about libido and depression, we do know that sex drive is one of the first things to leave when an individual becomes depressed and one of the last to return with treatment.
Ironically, while depression can affect your libido and sexual function, many antidepressants can cause or aggravate the same problems. All antidepressants can cause:
* DECREASED LIBIDO
* ERECTION DIFFICULTIES
* DELAYED OR ABSENT EJACULATION
* ORGASM LOSS OR DELAY
Currently Prozac, Zoloft, and Paxil (SSRI's) are among the most commonly and widely prescribed antidepressants on the market today. Sadly, they can cause sexual impairment in some 40-50% of those who use them.
If you have a sexual dysfunction problem and are depressed and anticipating the use of an antidepressant, do not start with an SSRI. Wellbutrin and Serzone are two antidepressants with very few sexual side effects. Serzone, while a great antidepressant, unfortunately has some dangerous liver side effects.
Others ways to deal with the sexual side effects of antidepressants are:
* Dose Reduction
* Changing medication
* Starting and Stopping
* Adding Wellbutrin to the antidepressant you are on.
2006-11-04 02:13:16 · answer #5 · answered by K-D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
post natal depression doesn't often go away easily, my daughter is now 7 and i still hit down moods just keep showing her that you love her but at the same time make sure she has her own space maybe take the little one off her hands once in a while a few hours break does work wonders! hope everything works out for you!
2006-11-04 02:47:57 · answer #6 · answered by fruitbat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is on antidepressants it can cause some people to become datached and not want to be as physical as they once were. I have been on Zoloft since the beginning of Sept after losing a baby girl at 21 weeks and I have noticed that although the depression is better, that I don't want to be around my husband as much, but that does not mean that I don't love him.
2006-11-04 01:52:26 · answer #7 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes 9 months to make a baby and at least nine months for the body to recover.
Tell her that you love her and will live without the bed side of the marriage till she feels ready and that will take the pressure off her. Still be loving and supportive and be there for her
Once she is able to relax properly with you see how it goes.
2006-11-07 12:36:20 · answer #8 · answered by Amanda K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people don't know themselves when they are depressed or may get a bit embarrassed about admitting it. Just stand by her like you have been and try getting her some help again.
2006-11-04 02:02:15 · answer #9 · answered by Jo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she is feeling depressed again, i was fine after the birth of my first child but then when i had my second i suffered really badly with depression, i acted the same way your girlfriend is towards my hubby, he was patient and put up with loads of cr ap from me but we got thro it and now have annother two children, just be there for her and things should get better, good luck
2006-11-04 01:55:05 · answer #10 · answered by emmamac14 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋