hes been unemployed since may and appears to have been downloading aand watching porn for months!
2006-11-04 01:26:24 · 47 answers · asked by Sneaky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There are two kinds of males who use the internet. Those who hide their porn well and those who do not. Guys look at porn, it is nothing against you or any other woman. It does not mean that he doesn't think you are attractive or that he would rather be with someone else. I'm not saying it's a pleasant thing to discover, but you gotta admit, it's better than him cheating on you.
You can allow yourself to get all frustrated or you can try to fix it. Often, things become routine and not as interesting. Men like variety. That is why some men cheat. But it is totally unnecessary and unacceptable. You can provide your man with all the variety he needs. Perhaps a little new lingerie would be a good idea. I would recommend a DVD on Kama Sutra Tao, The Sensual Art of Making Love. It is a very good dvd you can watch together. It is done in good taste and not crude. It will relight his and your fires and you won't leave the house for days. ;-)
2006-11-04 02:27:57 · answer #1 · answered by William E 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he is your man then I think that all men have an addiction to porn in one way or another as for being unemployed I doubt very much this has anything to do with his addiction and if he has been downloading it for months then maybe the way to handle this is to get a little bit of payback maybe tell him you have an addiction of some description and if he gets upset then say well you have one I have one(addiction) too and if it upsets you about mine then yours upsets me too and how would you feel if I was downloading naked men and see what he says. Now he will probably try the line well would you rather me lookingt at naked chicks on the net or in real life in my eyes this is the biggest cop out and make sure you stick to your guns honey after all if the mind can wander then what else will.
2006-11-04 01:53:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Porn is not the same as being unfaithful and as long as he is watching consenting adults type porn then that's not so bad.
However, how would he feel if you started watching porn? Maybe he would like you to share his hobby.
I don't think it's enough to break up a relationship, but the idea of your man looking at other women to get sexual gratification, probably rests uneasily with you- it would me- rightly or wrongly.
I suppose it's how open minded you are- some men and women watch porn together. Does nothing for me- i'd rather take part in the privacy of my own home!
you need to talk to him about it and say honestly how you feel and have an adult conversation about it and a laugh. it is not a relationship breaker in my opinion, but rather a conflict of opinion.
i know it's not easy if he is unemployed, but if he was downloading vintage cars etc you probably would not mind in the same way! It's the porn- sex issue you need to discuss.
2006-11-04 02:14:40 · answer #3 · answered by brainlady 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
talk to him. he may depressed as he is unemployed and finding it hard to find a job,which in turn can make him feel less of a man. so watching porn makes him feel like a man,talk to him listen to what he is saying try to understand what he is going through. if he refuses. say that its taking a its total on you him and you're marriage and if he wants to save it he has to open up or go to counselling. good luck and be patience.
2006-11-04 01:55:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most men look at porn. Try asking him to slow down or stop. If that doesn't work, try looking at it yourself. Watch it together. Instead of doing it behind your back, tell him you want to at least know what he is viewing. Regular porn can be tolerated. Make sure that he is not addicted to kiddy porn.
Look at the bright side. If he is getting it on with his computer, then it's not your best friend or neighbor! You can honestly say that you know what he is doing with his free time! I bet that he is faithful to you otherwise. There is a big difference between thinking it, and doing it.
2006-11-04 01:36:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Unless pornography is what's keeping him unemployed, what's the big deal?
I've been living with my boyfriend for a year and we share a computer and I find a new porno on it every week.
He obviously does it when you're not around, so what's the big deal?
Let him have his porn time or join him and watch it.
Everyone has their fantasies/fetishes.
And to the other answers... are you kidding me!? Counseling? Dump him? Over a video of people having sex?? You people need to lighten up and loosen up. Porn is no longer taboo. It's year 2006 and he's a grown man able to make his own decision.
If my significant other gave me an ultamatem over porn or him? PORN! Not because I like it, but because anyone who'd consider leaving me over something so trivial is not worth it.
You'll only make yourself look a jealous, insecure, bitchy girlfriend if you argue over this.
2006-11-04 01:30:44 · answer #6 · answered by VetTech1016 3 · 6⤊ 3⤋
you can install a software like NetDog Porn Filter on the computer,that help you to block all porn sites quitely in the background when he's surfing on the internet. http://www.NetDogSoft.com
2006-11-04 18:02:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to be a man and get a job! There is nothing wrong with watching porn unless you become obsessed with it. If that's the case he needs to find help for it just like with any other addiction. You don't have to stay with him but if you choose to then the two of you need to sit down and talk about all of this and decide what's to be done together.
2006-11-04 01:30:19 · answer #8 · answered by momma 3 · 5⤊ 3⤋
Friend, my marriage ended over this. It is just as much an addiction as alcohol or drugs. He needs to get help for it and some men won't. Get help for yourself in dealing with this. Make it clear you will not put up with it. Move out if you have to to make your point. Bless you, I have been thru that pain.
2006-11-04 01:56:48 · answer #9 · answered by Robin N 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think I would be more worried about him not having a job.About the porn I think you better keep an eye on him make sure he isn't a freak.
2006-11-04 01:40:52 · answer #10 · answered by why_me93230 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋