I went out last night with some girl friends. (see my last question) and he made me feel guilty. I came home at 1:30am. He leaves me a letter saying im always with my friends getting plastered. I havent been out with my friends in 2 months!!!! I had 4 drinks and i got drunk. Im not alowed to have fun every once in a while? he goes out with his friend 3x's more then i do to watch the game! Im just feeling like im the bad one and i dont want to feel that way anymore when i decide every once in a blue moon with my friends to celebrate a 30th b day! He wrote me a letter that he loaths coming home to me now. is he blowing this out of proportion or am i just wrong??
2006-11-04 01:08:59 · 24 answers · asked by Baby Jack born 4/5/09 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He called to apologize saying he blew it out of proportion.
2006-11-04 05:40:41 · update #1
HOLD THE PHONE PPL! First of all we are just getting your side of the story. I am not getting all pro male here but lets try to be fair. I am sure there is more to it than just that, either objective or subjective, we are talking about 2 ppl here and each ones perception of the problem is.
I doubt very much that this is a new concept for you, it seems that either this or other stuff has happened before we got here. You mentioned that he goes out 3x more than you and you go out lot less than him, what I didn't see is how many times the two of you go out together? I think there is the root of the problem.
You seem to be looking for backing and strenght for your next fight. If he is writting you letters, could it be because he is tired of talking about it with you? or fighting over the same issue? You said the in the letter he said "Loaths coming home to you", I am sure that feeling didn't develop overnight.
I think you need to work on your relationship before going out with your friends period, and that goes for the two of you.
If you need some direction or want to talk im me, I will be glad to help save your marriage.
P.S. Yes he should be mad!!
2006-11-04 02:24:12 · answer #1 · answered by ttepinzon 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No I dont think its wrong that you want to hang out with the girls I am in the same situation I dont do anything with anyone but my kids. While he goes to work for 14 hours straight then on days off he goes hunting or whatever he wants. Whenever my husband let me go out for the first time in 8 years with a friend he said he would watch the kids but when I was getting ready to leave he told them I was going sluttin around. I coulnt even enjoy myself I felt so guilty.
2006-11-04 09:41:41 · answer #2 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is being a child. He is also being manipulative and ignorant.
The old saying is "What's good for the goose ". Its very true.
Turn the tables on him and throw his crap back. He goes out , you go out. That's fair.
It sounds like there is a fair amount of loathing to go around.
Have him come home to an empty house a couple times and it will wake his A$$ up.
2006-11-04 09:41:53 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not going to like my answer... I am going to tell you what my father told me.
A husbands place is with his wife and family. If you go out, you should go out together. A marriage will not work, if one goes in one direction and the other goes in another direction. Stay together, play together, pray together. Anything short of that will never last. When you marry you become ONE. Never separate. Your time away from each other is called work. After work, why would you want to go spend time with anyone else but your wonderful husband? I'm not saying that he should be mad at you. You 2 should just learn to enjoy each others company. I wish U 2 the best.
2006-11-04 09:28:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he has some insecurity issues. If you don't want to rock the boat for awhile, try to go out with your friends only when he is out with his. He is trying to make you feel guilty, and yes he is blowing things out of proportion. Good luck.
2006-11-04 09:17:08 · answer #5 · answered by Solo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're both wrong!
there is nothing wrong with girls night out, but it shouldn't be that late...it creates the illusion of infidelity even if there isn't any. It might drive him to be unfaithful, thinking he might as well because you probably are too...at least in his mind.. And he is wrong for being childish and demanding.
Start talking... if his control issues don't soften, you have bigger problems to come. Fix the problem or move on... Those are the only options you have.
2006-11-04 09:25:02 · answer #6 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like the man is very insecure and probably too immature to be married.
Next time you go out, come home without your underwear. At the very least, that should blow the problem out in the open.
2006-11-04 09:13:21 · answer #7 · answered by superspiker69 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong. Most men want to still live like they are single but they want you to stay home like a hermit. My husband used to do the same thing. He got mad because I went to lunch with my sisters for my birthday. As long as you aren't out every night or every weekend I don't see the problem, he needs to lighten up.
2006-11-04 09:13:09 · answer #8 · answered by amy_girl7200 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It has been blown out of proportion it seems.
Men have insecurity issues- I think ALL of them do to a degree. It is not fair that you can't go out with your friends without being sent on a guilt trip.
2006-11-04 09:26:16 · answer #9 · answered by rottymom02 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you are not wrong , especially if he goes out that much! he sure sounds self -centered an selfish. i don't know why some men are like that , think it is different if it involves them or thier buddy's. but you were not wrong here and if he wants to just let it go , due to this. he is just finding an excuse for something else he is up to! good luck an don't put up with this sh_it!
2006-11-04 09:42:06 · answer #10 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋