How do I approach my wife about either adding another woman or going to see another woman by myself?

Question

I just need some helpful suggestions here, please no moralistic preaching.

Answer 1

Oh yes my friend you are so lucky I have bumped into your question. I have dedicated countless scientific hours to the study of this and I am happy to inform you that I have succeeded.
THere are several aproaches you can take but first you need to find out why you want to do this?
a) is it just a sexual thing?
b) is it that you want to incorporate a second wife into the family dinamycs?
What exactly are you feeling?
Know that this is not a quick process, it will take you months if not years to work on her in order to agree to this and even then it may not happen ever.
With that said lets get to it.
If its the sexual thing then it will be a lot easier than you think, its not that hard to get a woman to agree to it, now the realtionship part that one will be a tought one but let me assure you that it can be done, I have done it and it works out great for all of us. I will tell you buddy that its not an easy life but the rewards are worth it to me.
1- you need to prepare the grownd. Be very affectionate, be helpfull, you need to give in order to receive, you will have to become a pleaser. ie. breakfast in bed, do dishes, make sure she enjoys sex very much, compliments, flowers, etc.
2-Avoid fights. dont get into it with her, make problems look like a thing of the past. If there is a disagreement or situation you talk about it in a civil manner, no name calling, no yelling. Be very understanding of the situation and her feelings, make consecions and move on, dont bring up the past no matter what, if you fail to do this you will be taking a few steps back.
3-connect with her. make sure you reach a transendent connection with her, be more aware of her feelings and thoughts on many topics. Make sure you make time and place to talk to her, to discuss different things other than her job or friends, focus on HER and only HER.
4-If you have children be more affectionate with the children and more involved with them, dont' dump them on her or expect her to take care of them, cook breakfast for them on a sat morning and take them to the park so she can sleep in and have some alone time.

This process could take anything between a month and a year tops but you will see some dramatic changes.
At some point she will start doing more stuff for you, asking you how you are, cooking you up stuff you like, etc. THis is her way of reciprocating. If she doesn't there will be a point in which you feel like you need to say something because you will feel neglected, ok when this happens RESIST, deal with it and continue doing your part. THen the second time you feel like you are going to explode say something, but remember NO YELLING AND NO FIGHTING ( that is the golden rule here),she will ask you what she could do and just say that you want her to show you as well that she cares and loves you, don't say anything about a 3some, dont even hint it. Then give her a cpl days, she will spend this time thinking what she can do to make it up to you, at this point you have a conversation about things you would like her to do but still don't bring up the other woman thing, wait. She will try to do this things, more than likely she will screw it up so you will have another conversation about it, again remember to be very civil about this, dont fight no matter what.
Now you are ready to make a move; if its for a simple sexual expirerience ask her during or right after sex: how she would feel about having sex with another woman? and just listen, she will at some point ask you why? or what you think? either way your response will be that she is so sexy and she would look so much sexier having sex with another woman, the kissing, the touching, etc. Reasure her that she is the only woman in your life and you love her so much. THen all of the sudden kiss her and get down dirty to having sex again, but this time it has to be passionate, animal, porno kind of sex. She will make a coment about it and tell her that just picturing it in your mind makes you want her more and more. She will then ask you who you would have in mind or something to that effect, then you say (and make sure you use this words) "doesn't matter, you matter she would be nothing more than a prop, like a pair of handcuffs, sexy clothes or scented oils" More than likely she will just look at you and you don't say anything else about it, cuddle with her and let that go for the moment, repeat this every other time you have sex a few times ( make sure you have more sex than usual after that initial conversation) and at some point she will be all for it. Now once this happens don't get all eagered on finding someone, I made that mistake and it took me a while to do some damage control. Let her choose the woman, at best the two of you choose her but reasure her that it doesn't really matter who it is, you just want to see HER and only care about HER.
Now for the relationship part there is WAY more involved, there are several aproaches you will need to take simultaniously, read lots of research in the matter this will be very taxing and I am afraid its too much to get into is here. Please feel free to im me if you want to go that route or need some mentoring in this issue, I will be more than glad to.
Hope it helps

Answer 2

Just say "You are a great young lady and i'm glad I got to spend some of my life with you". Ounce you say that she will be soo happy that you called her young she wont mind that you want a divorce "I have met another lady though and I really want to get to know her too; I want a divorce." she will look sad for a while "I like you alot but I love *whoever you like more*. I hope you are ok with my desision, but even if your not I need a divorce because I love *That Gal that you would rather be with*." Right now she will cry or hit you.


Or you could just say "I want a divorce" but that would result in you dieing before you can ask the other girl you like more out.

Answer 3

A man that loves his wife would never ask her to do such a thing. Let's face it, it's not about her anyway, it's about your fantasy. Your relationship will forever be changed if you do it. That moment of passion could cost you you the rest of your life.

Preaching no....this has nothing to do with god...it has everthing to do with respect for the woman you supposedly love.

Answer 4

Ok I have to say this why in the hell did you get married if you want to play with other women. You should of thought about that before you married her. I would not suggest you to ask her to have another woman on the side unless you want to get hit with a frying pan on the side of your head. Think about that one before you do anything ok.

Answer 5

When you are having sex, pretend about adding another woman. If she gets hot , after a while of these fantasy games, suggest you actually try it and tell her , she can pick the woman,

Answer 6

My wife and I are experienced swingers (how I hate that word) and the way you asked that question sends up every kind of red flag possible.

If you guys have not discussed it and two consenting adults, then it is NOT AN OPTION!!!!!

If you have, then why are you asking it here?

Answer 7

ya not gonna get any moralistic preaching. from me but ya are gonna get this
be carefull man i tried that little trick and got into big trouble with my wife it took me ages to convince her i was only joking i wasnt really but i had to make her think that to get back in her good books but yeh just ask her ya either gonna get a yes or a no arent ya

Answer 8

There is no way that you can be commited to two people. If you are not able to honor the commitment you made to your wife then by all means do her the favor of letting her go before you go on your own.

Answer 9

that is what Abraham Lincoln said. what is sad, is that people try to change history to fit what they want it to be. he is credited for freeing the slaves, the majority of the USA tries hard to pretend that the war was over slavery. the fact remains that the war did not start because of slavery. it did become a part of the war but was not the reason for it.

Answer 10

Would you be okay with her adding another man, or seeing another man by herself.

Chances are, if you don't like that idea, she won't like yours.