My husband whom I am still living with while I am going through a divorce is bad mouthin my parents to my kid's. They think my parents are pushing me to divorce, but it's been years of lies and his cheating that has made me file for a divorce. My kid's don't even want to be around them. My family wants me around for the holidays and I don't want to be around their father.
2006-11-03 22:13:18 · 8 answers · asked by sapphire 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is normal and a shame that children have to be stuck in the middle of a divorce. You know they here everything that mom has done how bad and not caring she is. Then the same thing from dad how hard he has tried and worked and no one cares.
Every bad situation ever happened in the marriage the children has to hear all about it. They are just back and forth what mam has done and then what dad has done. This is very traumatic to the children and even harder when they are stuck in the middle.
Do not be telling them any bad about there dad and tell him the same not to be knocking you and bashing your family.
This happens with every divorce and its up to the both of you to keep your children comfortable and at peace till everything progress better.
2006-11-04 00:41:39 · answer #1 · answered by canuticklemepink 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be the more mature of the two. Keep telling your children that you love them no matter what. That your parents love them also. That children are not at fault for your divorce. They feel responsible on some level. Just keep loving them. Try not to get too attached to what YOUR wants are and concentrate on meeting the kids needs. You can only control so much. As painful as this is, someday the children will understand it. Just don't bad-mouth back about their dad.
2006-11-04 00:22:19 · answer #2 · answered by Jack P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how old your children are they should respect their Elders!!!!. Talk to your husband and let him know his behavior is unacceptable. When the kids say something to you regarding what he has told them you need to only say "What is going on with your father and I is between your father and I. Nobody else is to blame for the present situation except your father and I. You will go where I tell you and you will respect everyone there" I know because I have been through this with my 2 children. There father and his family did not but bad mouth me and my family. As long as you stick to that line, the children will slowly see as they get older that you were the one that was truly looking out for their best interest. Good luck to you.
PS if he can not do this then tell him to leave the house or you will leave with the children. His choice. Kids should never be made to feel guilty for loving anyone that comes into their lives. Let your husband know that!!! Also they should never be made to choose what parent or family members to love.
2006-11-03 23:22:12 · answer #3 · answered by kelsey 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wonder why people who couldn't work out their problems before a spit wonder why they can't figure out things after a divorce? Why don't you just stop in your tracks right now and stop blaming everything on the dad. The kids are just trying to survive in a mess caused by a bunch of adults. In this case the solution is easy. You go to your parents and leave the kids with dad.
2006-11-03 22:29:10 · answer #4 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your children do not want to be around them, get a mediator to assist you. You shouldn't have to go this alone. It would be a different story if they wanted to be with them - you could just split the day between the two family units. I know - it's a tough go.
2006-11-03 22:19:41 · answer #5 · answered by redcoat7121 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kids will be kids. They weren't asked to be born. You guys owe it to them to stop behaving like kids yourselves. They will not remember who was badmouthing whom later on.... the only things they will remember is that their parents messed up their lives and that holidays were no fun.
2006-11-03 22:20:31 · answer #6 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your attorney and find out whether his behavior with your children could be used against him, for taking control of them. Try to talk to your children, when they are free from their father and explain the facts about your parents. You must try to expedite the divorce proceedings and take control of your children.
2006-11-03 22:17:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Verbal abuse, get an AVO.
2006-11-03 22:32:34 · answer #8 · answered by johnno K 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋