She's coming over and I have no idea how to help her. What do I say? She needs to lay off the drugs, but nows not the time to say it, although it caused this whole situation!!! What do i do?
2006-11-03 21:00:44 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think the best thing to do is not to say how wrong she was by taking drugs and drinking. She doesn't want to hear it because she already knows it, and if she doesn't, she's not ready to believe it. Let her know that you are there for her and willing to listen to what she wants to say instead of being like most people telling her how wrong she is.
Let her know that you may not have the answer to every problem, but no one does, but through everything you will be there standing next to her. The rain will always come but no one ever said she has to go through it alone.
2006-11-03 21:21:03 · answer #1 · answered by lwang81 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there aren't too many people that can say their first time was anything special, chivalry is dead, tell her not to worry too much, there will be plenty more times that she will regret that will supercede the next, i know i am speaking from experience, i lost mine the same way, 17 years later I can think of worse things that I have been through by far, It's not the end of the world, she is probably feeling a little embarassed for giving it up like that, if she wasn't drunk she might not have enjoyed it all, drugs are another thing, some drugs alter your perception to make you feel like you need that kind of physical attention, if the drugs are a bigger issue I would address that situation first and the rest will work it self out, It sounds like she not very innocent anyway, don't stress it's not your problem even though it probably feels that way, cos she is probably chewing you ear off!!!
2006-11-04 05:12:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i guess first talk about it...and see what really happened ..how it happend...and then go from thier... how would u feel in her shoes..what would u want to hear form ur friend if u were her ... try using that method.
and some how...without a critizing voice tell her how much u care about her and love her like a good friend and then brake it to her that she has a problem with drugs and drinking and then reasure again that u care about her and that u will be there for her no matter what...
well hope i helped
hope everything goes well good luck!
2006-11-04 05:07:59 · answer #3 · answered by Je Suis Une Enigme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're a good friend, you will be supportive but also honest. Nothing anyone can about it now, it was a stupid thing to do, she should stop drugging. Anyway, why is she concerned about losing her virginity if she's drugging? Drinking and drugging is also a way of "losing" a part of yourself, and its a choice she makes every time she drinks.
2006-11-04 05:07:27 · answer #4 · answered by shakespear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It now really depend on her, i got a fren same story but she was drugged, till now 2yrs later she is still in depression and couldn't find a fix BF. All u can do just stay with her.
Bring her out more, where there are more guys and find her a gd BF, i'm sure luv will make her forget. If she is in a relationship den she won't be into drugs.
2006-11-04 05:07:25 · answer #5 · answered by ralfhero 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be open and honest with her...if she can't take what you have to say then maybe she should've re-assessed what's more important to her the drugs or her friends and family.
On another note I personally think people use the drunk excuse too often for losing their virginity...she knew full well what she was doing drunk or not...it'll be a different situation if she was raped.
2006-11-04 05:04:33 · answer #6 · answered by Amillion2one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her talk.
See if she comes up with the same reasons
it happened.
Then tell her unless she stops the drugs/over boozing
it's going to happen again.
Maybe she needs to hang out with real friends who'll
look out for her.
2006-11-04 05:16:33 · answer #7 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make it clear that you are on her side and you just want to help her. Then if she is ready you can talk to her about the drugs and if she really wants to have this baby.
2006-11-04 05:14:44 · answer #8 · answered by Estefania 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
c nothing can be done now.
a few things can be altered in life but things like this once gone r gone.
let her not brood on that, make her happy by telling that this is ok let not happen again
she should be careful with her drinks.
2006-11-04 05:14:55 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are true Friends then you will have to tell her how you feel about the whole situation.... make sure she knows how you feel and ask her if there's anything you can do to help.
2006-11-04 05:43:07 · answer #10 · answered by sez 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋