Brian has replaced my children's deadbeat dad. All of us adore him and forgot about dad. Is this healthy?

Answer 1

yes it is ! especially if the Dad was a deadbeat (my real dad was too) and now I absolutly love my stepdad of 15yrs. hes not even my stepdad, he IS MY DAD! trust me, its VERY VERY VERY GOOD! hope it works out for the best!

Answer 2

This is only healthy if the "deadbeat dad" has completely disowned his offspring.. You and Brian's relationship is wonderful, and can be a model for your children about what a good relationship can be. Also, Brian can have a positive, role model-type relationship with your children. However, he is not their daddy until the real father decides he wants nothing whatsoever to do with the children (not just if he wants nothing to do with YOU). If you proceed as you are now, your kids will grow up happy and secure, but with hidden "daddy issues".

Answer 3

It's important not to penalize Brian because he's not the true biological Dad. If your children and Brian have a great relationship that's great.
Remember, work to keep your relationship with Brian strong. It would be difficult for your children to understand if things didn't work out.
Also, your children will accept him over Dad, because apparently Dad's attention is not for them. But be warned, as most dead beat dad's grow older, they suddenly hear the biological clock and come expecting open arms. Let your children make the decisions regarding that, and respect their decisions.

Answer 4

Yes and no. It could be more healthy for you, but never let your children forget about Dad, no matter how deadbeat he is. When your children get older and understand and start asking Deadbeat why he didn't do this or why he didn't do that when they were growing up, he will have to answer up on that to them.

Answer 5

It's wonderful that you have found someone who cares for you all. Time can do many things...for good and bad...enjoy your new family ..in time your children may want to re-visit their relationship with birth-dad or he with them..deal with that then. For now be happy, be wise-not blinded by your own happiness and keep tabs on your childrens feelings and yes it can be a healthy thing! People can and do love the children of their partner and the children love them back and can go on to have loving adult relationships with them all their lives- l personally know of several examples. I wish you all the blessings of happy and healthy family life.

Answer 6

It is okay just as long as you don't bad mouth their father. Let your children decide that for themselves. Make sure you don't compare what Brian does for your children, it can be hard, and sometimes you will not knowingly do this. Just enjoy what you have, and take it as it comes. Just remember to be civil when it comes to your ex, even if your children end up doing the bashing.

Answer 7

If real dad is a dead beat then yes i think that its really healthy for the children to have a better male role model in their lives.

Answer 8

the only thing that matters is that BOTH you and your kids are satisfied. let your kids know that you don't want to replace the dad in their lives only the partner in your own and they will appreciate the guy more so if HE asks the children how they feel and if they are too young when they grow be sure to explain things to them

Answer 9

Sure. You said it yourself: ex-dad is a deadbeat dad. What does he leave to be remembered by? You're lucky to have a happy family now, enjoy it!

Answer 10

Happyiness is what is healthy for now. Later in life they will face challenges and issues concerning the bio father but to have a happy childhood is the best.