I'm 57, F, 34 yr marriage to an incredible guy. We have 2 grown kids who are doing well, are getting ready to retire to our shore house, and i have a job i love. But i have a terrible crush (at my age!) on my 60yr old cousin. He lives far away, but i think of him every day and want to be with him. I love my husband. WHAT IS MY PROBLEM??? Why am I obsessed with being with my cousin? His younger sister was my best friend until i was 6 and we moved, and his mom was like a second mom to me, so it feels even weirder to me that i want him. Any ideas?
2006-11-03
18:31:28
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26 answers
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asked by
glitter4me123
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in
Family & Relationships
➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you know, it may not be a "love" crush. maybe you just want to be with part of your family? i had a wonderful first cousin that i adored, we just had it going on, he loved me in that way i loved him like a cousin. i think you need your family and you have missplaced that for a love... love. we can not love our cousins, it's against the law. it is insest. blood and blood is against God's laws. you can't pursue this. i think what you really need is a family gathering where you feel that you are accepted. oh.....by the way my cousin died and i mess him.
2006-11-03 18:47:54
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answer #1
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answered by zenasrager 3
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It's mentalpause my dear. Seriously, something must really be wrong in your personal relationship with your husband. Do you even love him anymore? Maybe your cousin has the qualities you wish your husband has. Still, considering you are not "close" with your cousin obviously, the boundaries of appropriateness just aren't kicking in for you. Sounds like a pure fantasy. Unfortunately most people realize their mates no longer fill their needs right plop in the middle of life...and you just have to either accept it or end it. My guess is a lot of women (perhaps even men) put up with unhappy relationships for the sake of the family. What a shame people can't learn to fix things...or the signs of trouble along the way and do something before that "cup runneth dry".
2006-11-03 18:34:09
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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when was the last time you saw him? fantasies are normal. if your cousin is a good man-it is healthy. what harm comes from thinking of someone? if you prefer-tell your cousin. he may make you feel better. Smooth the relationship. AND NO- i did not say have an affair. He may be able to ease your mind though...if you have not seen him in years=it is only a pipe dream that can never be fulfilled anyway. I have had a crush on a man that turned me down for years. SOMETIMES time heals all wounds/fixes the situation on it's own.
2006-11-03 18:36:08
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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I sounds to me like you need to Rekindle your sex life with your husband. If you were Satisfied with him (in bed) Then you wouldnt be fixated on your cousin. I would hazard to guess that sex doesnt often happen anymore. There is a direct correlation between a good sex life and a happy fulfilling marriage. And love has nothing to do with it. It is a physical need. Take your Husband to see the doctor or counselor and get your love life back on track, even if your Hubby needs a little chemical help.
By the way, Fantasies are just thoughts in your head, your cousin wouldnt touch you with a ten foot pole for good reasons.
2006-11-03 18:37:52
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answer #4
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answered by Paul S 4
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I think that at your age you would know that being with your relatives is already a big NO-NO! Why ruin what you already have? What if being with your cousin isn't what it's cracked up to be. What you might want to do is focus on spicing up your marriage instead. Life after children is a whole new milestone in a marriage. Be spontaneous (with your spouse, and not your cousin), do something that you have always wanted to do.... Stay away from thats cousin....
2006-11-03 18:39:00
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answer #5
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answered by wherenai 3
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Your too old to have a darn crush. What the hell is wrong with you? You are lucky enough to be married to someone for 34 years and your having thoughts about your cousin? The thought of old people doing it creeps me out but the thought of an older person having a crush on her older cousin creeps me out even more. You really need some help. Yewwww!!!
2006-11-03 18:39:37
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answer #6
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answered by Italionaire 3
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Retire to the shore house, and if it's outside of Kentucky or West Virginia, your crush will go away in time.
2006-11-04 01:57:33
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answer #7
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answered by stevis78 4
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Hey no offense, but you said cousin right? Blood cousin, not some by marriage cousin, or a person you just felt like a cousin to? Please say no blood, cause if y'all are really blood connected, girl get help even if you are 57. If your not related, then quit telling people he is your cousin cause that is friggin gross and then be honest with yourself before you hurt your husband who I hope your note related either.
2006-11-03 18:36:23
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answer #8
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answered by shrm 2
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do as you want since you are 57 you shouldn't be able to get knocked up. maybe you need an affair for 'ol' time's sake' then you will realize that it was a fantasy and use it to spark up your sex life with your husband.
Or better yet, tell your husband that you want to have a 3-way with you, him, and your cousin.
That sounds so 15 yr old, that at 57 I bet it would be hot.
2006-11-03 18:34:42
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answer #9
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answered by happy g 2
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You know your cousin through and through.
What's not to adore about him?
He's your cousin is all.
Do you know the redneck jokes?
You get married and your in-laws are already related.
Do you want to be living with that?
Love your cousin, but let him stay far away.
Let him be the fantasy that he is.
2006-11-03 18:34:47
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answer #10
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answered by dj_of_raleigh 2
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