I feel that my spouse is just too slefish and does not care about anybody else other than herself. I am not abe to keep up with the unnecessary quarrels in the house, for no fault of my own. I want to leave. Problem, I work in the public service and I am wel respected. What do I do? Serious answers only
2006-11-03 17:55:38 · 9 answers · asked by Trinity 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Seriously, why do you think the unnecessary quarrels are no fault of yours? A quarrel takes two or more. You work in public service. Haven't you had a dissatisfied person to deal with on your job? Did you quarrel with that person or did you maintain a professional manner? I am not suggesting that you become a "yes dear" man.
I am suggesting you approach this with a cool head. If she shouts, speak softly. If she accuses you of something, don't accuse her of something to be even in the quarrel. When she wants to start a quarrel, try telling her "I love you", tell her how important she is to you. Use love, not anger to control the quarrel. Not knowing what the quarrels are about, I can only give veg suggestions.
Use love. "All we need is love", John Lennon.
Instead of wanting to leave, think about why you married her, and how you felt then. Don't let your wife being selfish cause you to be selfish. She may only be trying to get your attention. Maybe you should send her flowers from your job first. Then bring some flowers home with you. You went through a courtship with her before you were married, but you stopped courting her after the marriage. If you loved her before, you can love her now. A marriage is a continued courtship affair. Lots of guys don't realize this. Been with my wife for 25 years and she loves the ground I walk on, because I never stopped the courtship.
Try it, it works.
2006-11-03 18:28:25 · answer #1 · answered by ageless 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you do? Remember your wedding vows. You made certain promises then. Do those no longer apply? No marriage is perfect. Marriage is as much about growth as happiness. If you give up on this now what is to stop you from giving up every time the going gets rough? I am married with two kids. I love my wife, but she isn't always the easiest person to get along with. I don't doubt that you feel your wife is selfish but that goes both ways. At any rate, the last thing you should be worried about is how this might look. Fix the problems in your marriage or don't, but don't let it be about how the process will look in the eyes of the public. This should just be about you and her.
2006-11-04 02:14:01 · answer #2 · answered by tecos_fan1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who cares what other people are going to think. You're not living your life for them and your children shouldn't have to see their parents fighting because you're worried about what others will say. Let them talk! Does your wife say the same thing about you? I'm not saying who's at fault because I only know what you're expressing. Have you tried counseling at your church, or period? I would also suggest self evaluation. After that's taken care of, think of the children.
2006-11-04 02:02:09 · answer #3 · answered by wrtrchk 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For starters, why don't u let her know how u feel about it. Start communicating and find out what's going on. Maybe she has issues of her own and is taking it out on u. If she is open to the idea, maybe u can both speak to a counselor.
2006-11-04 02:04:22 · answer #4 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take your spouse and go to a wise and trusted person whom both of you will respect the opinion of. IF you two can't work it out, part ways. Peace and harmony can be found.
2006-11-04 01:59:21 · answer #5 · answered by dj_of_raleigh 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You'll set a better example for your kids and community by leaving a bad marriage than by staying in an unhappy sham.
Get a lawyer and get to stepping.
2006-11-04 02:08:15 · answer #6 · answered by aibnyc 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Selfish people never change. It's always about them no matter what. Do what you have to do, and don't worry about what others will think or say. You have a right to be happy too.
2006-11-04 02:36:41 · answer #7 · answered by Das 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i read your other one about your wife. I think that you dont want to be with your wife for all the right reasons in the first place. ( the right traditional reasons). you do what you got to do for you. no one in your job has to know your personal life. just tell them i would rather not talk about it but thanks for asking.
i think that you will be more respected by dealing with your issues at home rather than ignoring them.
2006-11-04 02:01:53 · answer #8 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"I have three lovely kids and i would do anything for them."
2006-11-04 01:59:51 · answer #9 · answered by out of order 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋