I am pretty much successful in my career, but my married life has been a pain, a real pain.I have three lovely kids and i would do anything for them.
My wife is eratic and sometimes I do think she has a problem that needs to be treated. She shouts at the kids a lot, ordering them to do this or do that, even when they are tired and straight from school. These kids are hard workers they clean the house and do their job. She blames me for strange things that sometimes and sometimes I just keep quite to avoid unneccessary confrontations.
I try to be calm, when I can and reasonable but sometimes she just pushes me to the wall.
When she gets upsets she gets into tantrums like a little child throwing things things down, which scares the children.
I feel like I have persevered for too long and want to call it a day. I have tried to make it work but it hasn't. I had sworn to myself that I don't want my children to grow up without both parents, but my sanity now is being challenged.
2006-11-03 17:51:29 · 29 answers · asked by Trinity 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like she's dealing with some anger problems. Leaving her will not solve the problem, and because she is your childrens' mother, it is important that you try to help her solve her problem. Tell your wife that her actions are unacceptable and that she needs to seek out help to change. Give her some examples of what she can do (talk to a friend, a church leader, a therapist, her doctor). Help her figure out what needs to be done, offer your help with the kids. She sounds like she is burn out, do something that will aleviate her stress. Do everything you can, she is your wife, she was once the love of your life, she is your kids' mother and she will be a part of your life forever, it's better to help her now so that the rest of your life will be pleasant. Good luck.
2006-11-03 17:58:14 · answer #1 · answered by kittykatty 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
does she work or is she a stay at home mom? im only asking because if she is a stay at home, that can drive somebody crazy! at least it would drive me crazy. i only lasted 6 months being an at home mom because the daily rut you get in, starts messing with your mind. Or maybe she is depressed and doesnt even know it. She isnt happy for whatever reason. You might want to give it a try before completely giving up. She must be going through something too. Even though you want to be there with your kids as a family, if it doesnt work out, that doesnt mean they wont have both parents. I mean you are dissolving the marrige but you would still want to be there for your kids, theres no reason why they wont have both parents. Im seperated from my ex and the truth of the matter is, my daughter sees her dad ALL the time and now that him and I are not together we dont have problems any more, so when she does see us at the same time, we are talking civil and with respect to eachother and she never sees us screaming and fighting anymore. I think in my situation we were better off this way. Just do what you think is necessarry but if you do seperate or divorce, dont drift away from your kids, be there for them all you can. After all they are just innocent bystanders
2006-11-04 02:00:44 · answer #2 · answered by Esme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello I am sorry you r having such a hard time. Been there done that with my mother I am 36 and married and my mother still behaves like this sometimes. Come to find out when I was a child she done these things because of depression and stress. It did not matter what I did or how good I was trying to be nothing was ever good enough. Now after many years of screaming, temper tantrums we found out that she is actually bi polar and could not control the things she was doing. I would maybe try to talk to your wife to find out if she feels as though life is overwhelming her and if she feels stressed because of it. I know I have 3 great kids too and sometimes life feels like it is moving to fast. She could be faced with the same situation. One thing you have to look at, even though you have tried to make your marriage work sometimes it doesn't and you feel like I do those kids are the most important thing and we are as parents supposed to do anything we can to protect them. Even if that means taking a small break apart from our spouses.
2006-11-04 02:01:25 · answer #3 · answered by sambluebaby 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try getting her a hobby, maybe she doesn't have something to occupy Her time that is worthwhile. Sounds like she doesn't work.
Maybe you need to figure out what 's her motivation.
Or, try perspective. I always put things in perspective when i have a bad day.
Today I had to pay $400 dollars for a speeding ticket i got on my motorcycle and Can't take traffic school.
I bail people out of jail for a living, and today some guy i got out last year just got 2 years in prison for something that wasn't even his fault. All of a sudden 400 dollars isn't so bad. FYI.
2006-11-04 02:02:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess the standard response is counselling, which is certainly a good idea.
She sounds like she is imbalanced in some way. If she is a stay at home mom, maybe it's time to get out and work. Or perhaps she is lacking affection and appreciation for what she does.
It is also possible that she has a mood disorder. I would take her out on a nice date and spend time with her. Don't take it personally and try to find out through counselling what is lacking in her life. It probably isn't your fault although you could play a big part in her recovery. Good luck.
2006-11-04 01:56:43 · answer #5 · answered by principessa 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When did she start to behave this way? She may be unhappy with her life or the way you are treating her? Find out the really reasons behind all that odd behaviour. Also, you should talk to a family/relationship counselor and persuade her to do the same as a couple.
2006-11-04 06:21:30 · answer #6 · answered by Peter_F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe all you and her need is some couslering to easy the tention. take your wife away a few day she is depressed and need to get away for a while she will get better with time. remember she has 3 children whom she love dearly she is not well now help her.remember God hates a divorcing but do what you feel is healthy for you and the kids but make sure you have done all you can help your wife.
2006-11-04 01:57:43 · answer #7 · answered by annjilena 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't happy with your married life the kids will feel it. It's worse to be depressed and hidden than the kids being with seperate parents. Plus, do you really think it's a good idea for the kids to be raised in an environment that promotes the actions that your wife does? I'd rather have two happy seperate parents than two tired and angry ones. But that's just me.
2006-11-04 01:57:10 · answer #8 · answered by Belly 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
As hard as it may be... I still believe that marriage is supposed to be for life...until death do you part..through the good and the bad...am I wrong? Share your concerns with her..suggest some type of counseling..not only for her but for the both of you to go to together as well....Obviously she has some stored up anger or resentment, for whatever reason, that she is just holding in...and she explodes! I would say don't give up...try the counseling thing....hopefully it works out for you guys...I hate to see marriages end unless it's like audltery or abusive....
2006-11-04 01:58:32 · answer #9 · answered by Tru-Gem 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
All i can suggest is go to your wife with how you are feeling and see if she will go to marriage counselling with you and if she says no than she doesn't really wont to be with you,but try talking to her when the kids aren't there so they don't have to hear her go off if she does.Good Luck.PS Your kids don't need that.
2006-11-04 01:58:22 · answer #10 · answered by wizardalli 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋