I *know* that I am either a lesbian or bi-sexual. I have told a few people but do not dare to share it with everyone because Im scared. I have been broken down since I was a child...going through things you would not believe...dealing with peoples cruel judgments...in situations where I was innocent so im scared to deal with more from society because Im sick of getting hurt when I am such a nice person....especially over things I cant help like this situation. I tried to change myself....Ive tried but its just not happening ... this is natural for me...I dont know what to do though....i want to be open and live comfortably but Im scared....I know people are going to post mean answers...and just to say ahead of time...its people like that who make me so scared...and ashamed...im so depressed over this...although I do feel like people wouldnt take it as harsh as it may seem, and in my case, see it as ''sexy'' but im still scared. Really scared and sad.any advice?
2006-11-03 17:22:36 · 14 answers · asked by sara s 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
when I said ''sexy'' I wasnt implying the idea that Iwant to have sexual relations or that thats what this is about...I meant that Im attractive and unfortunatley society seems to make the matter easier on those who are in situations like this...
2006-11-03 17:28:49 · update #1
Please get counselling.
In your situation, entering into sexual relationship before you heal from the abuse is likely to enter you into further abusive relationship.
Please get professional help. And don't stress the sex. The time will come when it's right. Just not right now.
2006-11-03 17:25:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
WARNING: I'M A GUY
no lesbian experience, so I speak to the person you are, rather than you as defined by sexual label. I give you simple advice my friend. Be who you are. You do not need for others to be happy with who you are. YOU need to be happy with who you are.
No one else is you. No one else! If you spend all your time making people like you, chances are the person they end up liking is not who you trully are. Others will love you when you love yourself. Open your heart to the idea that you are going to be who you are, Open, Honest, You! If after a short while, it doesn't start turning things around you can always go back to the way you were. Push your comfort zone. Look n the mirror EVERY day and tell your self positive things. Sounds silly but it works. Talk yourself up and BELIEVE it. Take that with you all day and others will sense it, and believe it too.
Hope this helps a little. Be good to you before anyone else. But still be good to others. Take care.
2006-11-04 01:35:02 · answer #2 · answered by weazalus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're going to have to separate the wheat from the chaff. some of your relationships are important enough to be upset if the other person can't handle your sexuality. The rest are easy enough to ignore.
Don't try to change yourself again. The only reason people came up with the idea that it's a "choice" is because it makes them feel better about their bigotry.
Unfortunately, bigotry is rampant and for you to live openly and comfortably might require a change of scenery. But for now just try to focus on the people closest to you, who you know support you. It's still not going to be easy, but it will get easier in time.
2006-11-04 01:32:39 · answer #3 · answered by answersBeta2.1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart There is just one sentence in the Bible which says god thinks it is an abomination .Many people will judge you by that and that is totally unfair some how god forgot to mention Pedophiles who are much much worse .You were given free will to chose on almost everything and you have exercised that free will noone could stand before god and say they are perfect noone!!!!In my country Australia it is against the law to discriminate against sexual preferences Or call them bad names .So what to do Accept your self as you are don't listen to other ignorant people who think they know best the truth is they are blinded by there ideology and they will never change there mind even if the same laws were past in your country.Please don't get depressed or ashamed ,I call myself christian but I don't go to church but I know a lot about the bible and it forbids us to judge others those who judge you will be judged themselves according to god .So SMILE enjoy nature and your life .Have a nice day ...from john
2006-11-04 01:50:12 · answer #4 · answered by john h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a straight guy, but I'm so effin' sorry that our society is so crummy that it would make you feel so bad. :( That suxorz.
Someone told me that if you hate yourself for being a non-conformist, you should see how much you hate yourself for being a conformist. I think the price for fitting in is too high. Fuzzuck 'em all if they don't like it. Some people were just put on this earth to eat fershizzle - the judgemental people.
2006-11-04 01:45:45 · answer #5 · answered by Good Times, Happy Times... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't try to change yourself, no matter how hard it gets. Overall, you would be happier just being yourself. If people can't accept that then screw them. Find people to help you along that you feel you can trust to be there for you if things get hard. You may be surprised to find how many people would actually be open and accepting.
2006-11-04 01:26:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
people might not take it as bad as you think. I've been out since I was 12 and I haven't had very many problems with people.
the most important thing is to be comfortable with yourself. if people see that you accept yourself they will be more likely to accept you.
2006-11-04 01:32:24 · answer #7 · answered by Your Goddard Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ALL I CAN SAY TO YOU IS BE YOURSELF, AND WHEN YOU LET YOUR MIND BE OPEN AND FORGET ABOUT WHAT HAPPEN IN THE PAST, THEN YOU WILL BE ABLE TO GO ON. IF THAT IS A PROBLEM THEN SEEK SO COUNSELING, AIN'T NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT IS REALLY GOING TO YOU. IGNORE THE NEGATIVE THINGS AND THINK POSITIVE. GET WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE AND MEET NEW FRIENDS AFTER YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH YOURSELF. REMEMBER YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF FIRST BEFORE ANYONE CAN. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS AND BE HAPPY DAMMIT.............................SMILE, NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO AGREE WITH YOU, BUT HELL WHO LIFE IS IT ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-04 02:01:47 · answer #8 · answered by koodie64 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Sara, what you just wrote, sounds to me you are a very sweet person, and very young, love yourself, for who you are not for who you enjoy sex with, that doesn't really matter what you do behind closed doors..enjoy Life babe, cause life is short..stay around positive people that love you for Who you are...good luck..god bless
2006-11-04 01:29:30 · answer #9 · answered by qdrama1956 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should just be happy with yourself and who cares what anyone else thinks. I think you would be surprized at how many people really don't care whether you are bi, straight or lesbian anyways... and anyone who does care, they are not worth keeping as friends anyways and if they are not good friends (or even if its family...) than forget them.they should accept you for whoever you are and if they can't than it is them that has something wrong with them, not you
2006-11-04 01:31:31 · answer #10 · answered by shnookumz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋