everyone says that I'm talented in writing, do I? but why I never win such writing competitions in school, even if I've done my best? why can't I be like my younger sister? I'm a dust compared with her. i don't think I am really talented at all. I know I'm not confident, so what do you think about this (a piece of my poem)? Honestly. thanks everyone.
I can feel your presence beside me when you’re absent,
As clearly as a vista when the fog faded and the rainbow emerged
Because when you’re absent, my child, I opened my heart,
and the memories of time we spent together are widely ajar.
Do you know the future, lad?
So just closed your eyes and find it.
Because the future is at the front of the leading lead of this very road,
Smelled like summer in the breeze of the winter’s wind.
As I’m convinced to your rejoinder someday,
And we’ll be there laying our back upon the real savannah,
watching the stars in the depth of the night,
placing our parted heart to a whole union
2006-11-03 16:21:40 · 2 answers · asked by wonder why 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
too many metaphors... metaphoricle to the point of no longer making sense. actually, even with out all the metaphors and similies it hardly makes sense. lots of young writers make that mistake though, and as it goes with so many other things in life, say what you mean and mean what you say. no fluff, no filler, and take it easy with the metaphors (too much of a good thing). and buck up; you got plenty of potentail, just need some polish
2006-11-03 16:44:16 · answer #1 · answered by Rosalind H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's a wonderful full moon night, i am romantic too.
2006-11-04 00:26:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋