He's hilarious.
2006-11-03 16:05:27 · 7 answers · asked by Js_5 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Television
Where's my tooth.
2006-11-03 16:08:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?
-David Letterman
Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel.
-David Letterman
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
-David Letterman
2006-11-03 16:07:56 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some old ones:
Wake the kids, phone the neighbors.
Were going to have more fun than humans should be allowed to have.
I was shaving the other day and noticed the shaving cream had a warning on it. Do not spray into fire. Well I'm glad they told me that. Because I don't know how often I've taken the time to start a roaring fire in the bathroom sink.
You know the globs of toothpaste that end up in your bathroom sink? If you let them dry they make a fine after dinner mint.
2006-11-03 16:32:00 · answer #3 · answered by charley128 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's kind of sappy, but I was a Chi Omega, so I know it's true:
"ChiO's were ideal partners for all occasions. They were discrete, desirable, tactful, polite, and fun. Every mom dreamed of her son coming home with a Chi Omega, a woman's woman" David Letterman
2006-11-03 16:25:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was a top ten list of least favorite street vendor snacks. The one that I remember after all these years: number four..stunned mouse in a dixie cup.
2006-11-03 17:52:22 · answer #5 · answered by ebonyruffles 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no "off" position on the genius switch.
2006-11-03 20:07:02 · answer #6 · answered by chunklettes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
2006-11-03 16:08:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋