why am I afraid of the dark?

Question

When I was little, i lived in segregated down south, where the KKK was always lynching somebody, My mother being white with a black Boyfriend(no church would marry them, niether the city hall) would always look out the window when she heard something, I still do this today...at 35...and they would set up at night, listening for anyone coming around, because they would throw lit gas bottles at black peoples houses. We moved from there 20 years ago, but for some reason i still carry those fears around. Not all the time..but sometimes I get in a phase where i wont sleep at all at night for two or three days. I find sleeping in the day time more peaceful. Other than seeing a shrink...cause i know what they would say...It's in the past...face your fears, those things...but I can't shake the habit. I looked out the window so much...that when my dog hears something...he goes looking through the blinds...(i know)...anyone else has this going on?

Answer 1

I notice here you have answered your own question and that is nearly all the power you need to kick your problem. Expose the true emotions behind a fear and the fear will slowly fade away.

You now only need to remind yourself that you understand why things happen the way they happen.

BUT there are greater things that can be gained from negative things.

My best advise is to turn the negative into a positive, In your case your experience has made you a better person because you understand what it is to be persecuted and that educates you about compassion and love. You, through your experience now have a greater capacity to love, only if you recognise it and see your experience in this light. Many people sadly do not see.

Answer 2

Well I can't say I know where you're coming from, far from it. The way you have explained it all I can really say is you fear what may linger unseen. Your sub-consious still hasn't come to the acceptance that you are now in a much safer enviroment. Have you tried falling asleep with music? It may work as a distraction on those nights were darkness claims your sleep schedual. Also, you can buy sleep safe candle holders so you can slowly drift asleep as light takes its time fading to darkness. Not sure if this is of any help, hope it is. May you soon find peace in the night.

Answer 3

dont worry about it, my past still haunts me, im scared of a lot of things, even people touuching me cuz of situations in my past. it is completely irrational but i cant change it cuz iv been dealing with this for a long time. if it is really bugging u then getting a shrink actually helped me a little and now i am getting rid of the nightmares that hav been forcing me to stay awake to the point of exhaustion. now i can sleep more than before without being as afraid of my nightmares. another thing would b finding something that makes u comfortable beyond anything else, a security system, a baseball bat, or mayb sumthing less dramatic like a good luck charm or sumthing. then keep that with u or around u wen ur home so u can feel safe knowing its there. hope it helps.

Answer 4

Fear is a strange thing. We fear the dark because evil lurks there. We, at the same time, know that's not so. It's in our minds.
It's in our physiological profile. It's there and we can do nothing about it. It's part of who we are as human beings.
A scary movie will keep me from sleeping at night because of the thought of it. A simple thought. Seems kind of silly doesn't it, but it still keeps me awake.
You're teaching your dog the same fear that your parents taught you when you were small. You may stop looking out the window eventually but your dog may still harbor the fear of a noise and continue to look out the window.
You have been brainwashed by your parents and they were probably brainwashed by there parents of the evil that people do.
Its within you to get over it.
20 years is a long time to harbor the same fear. Now I hope you can stop and think of what your doing and say how silly I've been and know that fear is a strange thing.

Answer 5

Your fears are absolutely understandable. If sleeping during the day when the memories recure helps you through, just understand it will pass in those few days. Keep a log of when it happens and what triggers it. It may be that those memories pop up after you talk to certain family members or certain times of the month or year. You are a long way to overcoming it just by knowing why.

Answer 6

My wife and I moved to a different state after some of our neighbors painted swastikas and stuff on our house in Baltimore, and did some other stuff to us also. Too long a story for here.

Well... it is normal to be afraid of the dark, especially if you have had real stuff happen to you. Most people are not aware of the scary stuff out there in the world.

According to the DSM-IV-TR manual and accepted wisdom, you don't have a mental health issue unless something effects your functioning in life. It is reasonable to be concerned about the dangers of the world, especially if you have experienced them. It only becomes a mental health issue if you let your fears of reality effect your functioning in life. (I would also be careful of taking advise from "psychologists" that can not spell "psychotherapist")

There is nothing wrong with seeing what your dog is barking at, don't let anyone find fault with you there. For example, martial artists practice vigilance about their surroundings, but they don't make an issue of it, and those around them are not likely to notice their increased yet subtle preparedness. You might find that taking up martial arts is sufficient to help you gain confidence to deal with potential violence, and help you become more relaxed in your vigilance.

However, if your functioning is impaired, or the worry is taking up too much of your time and energy, then you might consider counseling.

Answer 7

It sounds like you know exactly why you are afraid of the dark. What about conditioning yourself slowly over time to sleep at night? Start by going to bed while it is still light out. You can try leaving lights on in the house so you won't wake up in the dark. Having a dog is great security. Good luck!

Answer 8

No, but I do feel sorry for you.
Today the Gay Gay Gay are nothing but a big fat racist joke.
If ANYBODY are the "N" word, it's the KKK. If you look it up in the dictionary, it says they are lazy people. That pretty much sums up the slave owners. The only reason they had slaves was they were too lazy to do the work themselves. So slave owners, as well as the Gay Gay Gay, are the REAL "N" words. I don't say it because I'm white. That's why I say the "N" word. I have more respect than to say the real word, unlike some conservative talk show hosts! And don't worry. I am NOT a racist. I dispise racists.

Answer 9

I think it is about time that you seek for professional help. Try a professional psychologist or even psychoteraphist in your place. You seem to be affected much that even your lifestyle and your ordinary life has been affected by this. Most psychologist, like me, would recommend a therapy. It means you need time and money in dealing with this thing. This disorder (as we call it) is not simple and not an isolated case. So try to help some experts advice rather than being scared all your life. Good luck!

Answer 10

it sounds to me like PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and it is caused by bad experiences you have had.I really do not know what you can do alone. maybe research PTSD and search the Internet but, it would be a lot easier to see some one for help. They have places that deal with only this syndrome and there are many techniques to help you live a happier life. Good Luck. I believe that you do not get over it but, you learn to put it in a special place in your mind bringing it out when you need to and not living with it every day.