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Hello, I am a not so typical but very possible businessman, and I have some conflict with my wife. We have been married for 3 years.

She is a typical housewife with no outside job, and it has been 3 years, but we are not planning to have kids yet.

It seems like my career and its required labor are hindering our marriage.

Compare to the statistics, I work 800 hours more than other average Americans working annually. I guess this business simply has to exploit agents like me to stand herself competitive.

After work, I am completely exhausted both physically and mentally, and she doesn't like me having a break, and she wants me to do exact half of all houseworks.

Just because my job is an utter sweatshop, that doesn't mean that I make my wife to do all the housework. I want to minimize her burden, and I try to help her. So I also do everything that women cannot do.
But doing exact half of all houseworks won't give me any rest.

2006-11-03 15:04:19 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

Unfortunately, I cannot afford maids yet, but I bought every latest electronic products to minimize her burden. Doing exact half of all houseworks won't allow me to have any sort of free time.

I am so stressed out, and I even doubt whether she loves me or not.

2006-11-03 15:05:32 · update #1

24 answers

I'm sorry, do everything that women can't do? What are you, a conceited sexist womanizing @sshole? Just because she doesn't have a paying job doesn't mean that being surrounded by the same walls day in and day out, barely getting to go out much herself, doing laundry on a constant basis, cleaning the kitchen non stop because dishes don't put themselves in the dishwasher, doesn't mean she still wants to waite on you hand an foot once you get home, being a personal maid instead of your wife. Find a way to put your clothing in the hamper instead of dropping your clothes on the floor so she can pic up after you. When you're done eating, clean you spot and put the dishes in the dishwasher and then clean the kitchen for her, she only just got done cooking dinner for you. At least you get to get off work and go home, her unpaid job is at home, at it is 24/7, I'm sure it'd be nice if at least everyonce in a while the dishes would find their way in the dishwasher without her being the one that does it. It must be nice having someone pick up after you, I wonder what that's like, I bet your wife wonders, too.

2006-11-03 15:16:23 · answer #1 · answered by afafae25 4 · 1 2

What kind of burden do your wife have? You have no children, she does not work, she has her health and strength and you have provided everything she needs. It seems to me that she is "LAZY" or she does not like doing chores. It is only the two of you, so your home should be in good order, unless someone is messey, her wash load is minimal and she does not have a pet, so what is her problem? I'm from the old school and if a man works as hard as you do deserves to come home to a clean house and a cooked meal, you are stressed all day and why should'nt she provide a pleasant atmosphere when you come home and let you get some rest and peace? You are certainly doing your part as a husband but she should read upon being a good wife and helper. Shame On Her !!!!!

2006-11-03 17:15:26 · answer #2 · answered by Neetaa 2 · 0 0

What does your wife do all day? It would seem fair if both of you worked the same number of hours a day, whether at a job or at housework. You need to talk to your wife about establishing a fair overall division of labor in your household. Each of you should also have time to relax, to exercise, or to pursue a hobby or interests. There should also be time for the two of you to do enjoyable things together. Do you thing it is possible that your wife resents the long hours you put in at work and that she is punishing you for the many hours you spend away from home? You need to understand the real problem to be able to change what is going on between you. This sounds like it is not just about who does how much housework. Marriage counseling may be a worthwhile investment. I hope you can work this out.

2006-11-03 15:14:37 · answer #3 · answered by just♪wondering 7 · 1 0

Altho I'm not expert on marriage, i think you seriously have to have a talk with her. You need to discuss everything without yelling, and jus let each other know how you feel about the situation. Altho I think that you should help out, it makes senc that your exhausted. If she is a housewife and does not have a job of her own, there is no reason why you should have to do exactly half when she is home more often. If she has a job too but not so many hours, maybe you should try n do less thing, but things tht may take a lil more time, or need to be done once a week.

2006-11-03 15:09:35 · answer #4 · answered by Kate 2 · 0 0

You have to talk to her openly and honestly...explaining to her that you're doing your best to work long hours and help her as much as possible...but she has to start doing a bit more since she's home full time and has no children to tend. Tell her if you are going to be doing half of the housework AND working...then she will need to get herself a job and still do her half of the housework. Maybe if she gets a taste of what your life is like, she will be more understanding. Until things are better...please don't bring children into the world.

2006-11-03 15:10:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well I have to agree with you. It does not hurt a man to help around the house, but if the wife is not working it is her job to see that the housework is done and meals prepared for her husband. How could she not have time to keep up with the housework. Are you sure she is not using this as an excuse to get you to not come home and sit on the couch all evening watching television and ignoring her. Maybe she is thinking, if you are not paying her any attention then she is going to get you back by demanding you do these chores? Sit down and talk with her about it and be sensitive to her needs. Women do not like to be ignored or feel like they have to compete with outside friends, television, hobbies etc.

2006-11-03 15:12:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

If she's not working and has no children to care for I don't see why she's complaining. Seems to me she should not have a problem picking up after you 2 she has plenty of time. It might be nice if you took out the trash and maybe once in a while help clean up after dinner but as for 1/2 the house work I think not.

2006-11-03 15:27:28 · answer #7 · answered by ascendent2 4 · 1 0

determine which you take a seat and communicate along with her. locate out what she is doing in the process the day. (do no longer ask what did YOU DO all day?!? Ask "How replaced into your day?...."What befell immediately?") locate out what her artwork load is like. remember which you're working 12 hour days 5 days a week yet she is working 24hour days 7 days a week. If something is ingesting up her time then artwork at the same time to unravel the situation. it must be that something that should take 10min is taking 4hours. case in point: does she ought to bathe the laundry via hand? If she does and you will locate the money for it, then get a washer and dryer. enable her communicate her way via a thank you to administration her day to get greater achieved. back her up. particularly ask questions and hear. artwork along with her and refer to her. while she is doing the dishes ASK HER in case you may help with the rinsing and on an analogous time as the two one in all you're on the sink refer to her. Ask this way: "Honey can i make it easier to with the dishes? I ignored you immediately and can particularly prefer to spend a while with you!" If all else fails then have her make a itemizing of what needs to get achieved daily and then take each and every of the effortless issues. case in point if she has 20 issues on the record and 5 of those issues take an hour each and every however the different 15 take 5min each and every take the 15. you will grow to be a hero for 90min of a while.

2016-10-15 08:49:34 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

How about you do all of what she does that enables you to work those ridiculous hours you claim. When you do that then maybe you will be more flexible. Don't think for a minute you could do it all without her support. In your lifetime you could never do anything as momentous as giving birth so quit being so selfish. A person makes time for the things that are important to them. If you burn out your wife and make her your maid instead of your partner she will soon be putting someone elses boots under her bed.

2006-11-03 15:23:25 · answer #9 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 1 1

My husband is retired. At first I worked and he usually did the majority of housework. I now also do not work and do the majority of housework. I ALWAyS make dinner though. To night I said I was dying for eggs over easy. he left the room and came back with 2 eggs over easy, buttered toast and a fork...........it was a great treat!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-03 15:12:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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