ok my husband is 60 and i'm 44.He is dying and has asked his best friend to take care of me and our son after he dies.we are now in a relationship and my husband knows and he plans on moving in with us shortly.I love my husband but he has been abusive in the past i also love my boyfriend with all my heart and soul he is my best friend.I don't want to leave my husband and him sick.he drives me crazy talking about dying and me being taken care of.so what do you think? I don't need anybody telling me how i'm going to hell for it cause i was raised in church and i know.i just want an honest opinion
2006-11-03 14:59:03 · 22 answers · asked by nina r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're too old to be so stupid.
My opinion.
2006-11-03 15:01:34 · answer #1 · answered by tina m 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
When you took vows in front of God it stated until death due as part, through sickness and health. That means you don't forsake or brush that person aside when they come to those points. Talk to him about the way you feel. If he is dying make the best of his last days. Be honest with yourself and with your husband, he is still your husband regardless. You can only be put into a situation that you allow yourself to be put in. Be a woman and do what you have to do. I don't understand the situation and quite honest could not imagine being in the position that you got yourself into. Although your husband wanted to make sure that you were taken care of, there are other ways this could have been done, a man is not the answer to all things, or else you would n't be here asking this question today. More power to you. From the sound of things it seems that you and his friend had a thing going on along for you to express the type of feelings that you have, so I guess you husband just gave you the man you had all along, do it in my face not behind my back type thing. Maybe I am wrong.
Honesty and Communication are key in all things, these two components are the only things that will help you.
Since you were raised in church, you know that in all things go to the lord in prayer.
Best regards.
2006-11-03 15:16:43 · answer #2 · answered by sweetcincylove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Boy! This is deep! So you are sleeping with the best-friend before your husband dies, is that right? So why does your husband want to move in with you guys then? You did not say what his ailment is, and how much longer he is expected to be around. I say if his days are numbered, just "tolerate" him and all his talk, that way you will have a clear conscience with no regrets someday. Also may be you should tell him that you do not particularly like all this talk about his pending death and all that because it is hard for you enough as it is. I hope he understands where you are coming from. My heart goes out to you, and I'm sorry you are going through this. God bless you and your son!
2006-11-03 15:19:50 · answer #3 · answered by vanityspice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your husband is trying to make up for past abuse by securing your future...but you're 44 and an adult woman...you can take care of yourself. This pre-arranged relationship is locking you into a deal that you may not want later. Once your husband passes, you may want to be free to do other things with your life...not involving another relationship. Like getting a job, traveling, going back to school for something.
2006-11-03 15:03:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's particularly like your husband...all effective and friendly until you're married and then he will attempt and dominate you. woman, sturdy adult men are unlike this. You husbands chum isn't a sturdy guy. in case you do no longer % to finally end up with a guy like your former husband ...and specific worse... you will distance your self from him. Already he's appearing like he owns you. you do no longer % a guy like this while you're searching for happiness in a courting. unload him and by no skill look lower back. permit him know which you do no longer sense an identical way and that he desires to end contacting you. a million. do no longer permit him come and see you. 2. If he texts you, do no longer respond, cut back off ALL touch. 3. Block any of his telephone numbers or any text textile messages. 4. permit your mom and family members know that this guy is pressuring you. be sure they have his call, telephone selection, handle, and image. 5. in case you need to, get a restraining order. do no longer permit your % for attractiveness from a guy, power you into his HE*L. There are sturdy adult men available. seek for one which will look to help fulfill your desires rather of having you fulfill his warped desires. This guy sounds creepy, and likely a actual abuser to me! do no longer hesitate to get help, NOW!! sturdy success!
2016-11-27 02:08:50 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a movie I have seen before. If your husband is alright with it and talked to you about it then I see nothing wrong. You are taking care of your husband and making sure he is getting good care.
2006-11-03 17:18:30 · answer #6 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What church were you raised in? When your married it's in sickness and in health...Did you miss that part of the ceremony? Oh- I am sorry you still love your husband but moved the boyfriend in...How convienent...Does your family tree have any branches?
2006-11-03 22:45:32 · answer #7 · answered by pc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're married...you have a boyfriend...your husband wants you to marry his friend and you were raised in the church and you think you're going to hell. LOL
Lady you've got issues and it has nothing to do with your dying husband.
That's my honest opinion.
2006-11-03 15:03:06 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for your own sake as much as it sucks stick it out if hes sick and dieing..if your boyfriend loves you he will support you in helping your husband. but also try to tell your husband that you don't want to keep talking about him dieing -you would rather enjoy the time you have left with him.also remind him no one is guaranteed tomorrow and to make the best of what he has left .
2006-11-03 15:03:29 · answer #9 · answered by tiffanyh2323 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband just desparetly needs peace of mind about knowing that you & your son will be ok/taken care of.
Your situation is something that's between you & the Lord... we're not your judge.
I hope you all have peace, joy & happiness.
2006-11-03 15:08:10 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was abusive... he doesn't sound like someone you should stay with period, even if he is dying. Your relationship with your husband and boyfriend and living together and what not sounds really screwed up.
2006-11-03 15:04:48 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋