How does one mold a child from infancy to adult high school age on the right from wrong?

Question

Cause now that I'm out of College, those stupid things that blew my mind as a teenager were never worth it.

Is there a way that programs can be made to help teenagers not make wrong decisions that can land them in trouble.

I would give examples, but those examples are already out there in the news and grape vine....

Answer 1

You can't mold children -- they aren't clay. The smarter a kid is, the less likely they are to listen to you. The best way to get your kids to listen to you is by having a history of fairness and consistency, and being the kind of person that your kids can personally believe in, so that when they do have questions about they decisions they're about to make, your advice is the advice that they rely on.

There are plenty of programs like that. Big Brothers, Big Sisters is one example, but there are also peer mentors in High School and College; and there are therapeutic staff support technicians -- social workers who spend evenings being friends with certain kids that they're matched to. The YMCA and YWCA are both prime examples of associations that were meant to serve the purpose you're thinking of. The problem with them is that they get the reputation of being fruity and embarassing because they're designed to help kids -- but when that's all you have, you make the best of it. I had a TSS worker when I was 14, and she taught me a lot about music and movies and making friends.

Answer 2

You mold a child by BEING there, and TALKING. But also by LISTENING! Few adults listen, but talk to death their child.
If you broke your arm - and do not want your child to break theirs - ask why? Some lessons are painful for a reason. For a child NOT to do stupid things - how will that child learn anything on their own? You can visit hospitals and show them people that jump off roofs for fun, as opposed to THINKING BEFORE ACTING - maybe this will help? The child must think at all times, yea - this always happens. OK, so the 1 time acting before thinking, wham accident. Well they learned a lot, and have a memory, like you do with your arm. They can not be afraid of accidents or your reaction to them.
Possibly to be RIGHT - is to THINK BEFORE ACTING.
and to be WRONG - is to ACT BEFORE THINKING.
This still will not stop stupid stuff from happening, and only makes adults talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk to the point where NO child listens anymore.
I'd suggest listening first to the child's questions, and give honest understandable answers, with feed back that the answer is in their brain, not escaping out their other ear.

Answer 3

It starts at home. From the time the child is born...even before birth, this child must feel loved. This person must be held with affection and feel safe. As this child grows you listen to them, praise them, and when they make mistakes, disclipline them, without punishing them, and when they get older we are constantly teachers, guides.

The closest we can express right from wrong is if their actions are going to result in chaos for not only for themselves, but for others. If the answer is no, then we need to evaluate right and wrong again. If you are working in a place of certaintly, then these lessons will be profound. If we base right and wrong on what "should or should not be" (basing on emotion maybe?) then this creates a potential negative affect on self expression.

It's important to give them choices, so that they can be expressive and feel like an individual. When they feel they can have this freedom as they get older and older, the basic principals that were applied from the beginning start to really affect them in their decision-making in a positive way. It's important that these principals are applied not only in the home but in the community. They are out there. A program that is really great for teens is a program called Landmark Education for Teens. There are others out there, but this really disects the issue of right and wrong to allow the teens to see how they process "life". There are many others, but this one I've heard of.
I hope this might have shed some light on the subject. :)

Answer 4

This is an interesting question......

I think while I was raised, and believe (still) in Christianity, and I was very set that I wasn't going to drink illegally, or have sex before marriage, while I had strict parents and a very good conscious. While, I didn't do much stupid in high school, while in my early 20's I did a few things I was not proud of. It seems like everyone -- or most everyone -- has to "find their own way" so to speak. I think a strong set of values, a set of expectations and boundries (on the part of the parents), can lessen the number of stupid things one does, or the scope of the wrong decisions.

I have children of my own now and I am trying to mold them into moral, kind, intelligent people that make good decisions.

Answer 5

Its called big brothers and big sisters.... there are programs all over the united states to help kids at risk....
Put your time in .. volunteer go to a school and help out... or start your own no profit foundation...... good luck your intentions are kind.

Answer 6

Role models, examples, When I was little, my parents didn't lie to me and was it a rude awakening when I started school and kids were so rotten. Parents should arm their kids and tell them, Not everyone is nice and not everyone is going to tell the truth

Answer 7

you just have to let them learn on there own thats what chilhood is for. make mistakes and learn. there is a right and wrong but they have to learn it sometime. i realize things werent worth it but you learned from it didnt you. there is know way of raising a kid wrong only they do that to them selfs. let em live and learn
good luck!!!

Answer 8

Go to church, read your bibleand lead an example.