I feel like i dont know what to do, my 13 year old daughter told me she feels i ignore her.............?

Question

I had to pry that out of her. she says she doesnt want to talk about her feelings but i told her i love her and i want to know her problems so i can fix them. she started to cry and told me she feels ignored. let me explain a little, i divorced her father about 8 years ago and ever since its been just me and her, we did and went everywhere together we were very close. well im married again to a wonderful man and my daughter does like him cause he is very good to her. I think maybe when i started dating him 2 1/2 years ago she started to feel ignored. but honestly i would never ignore her unpurpose. my daughter told me she doesnt think i do it unpurpose, which that makes me glad she doesnt think that i do. i tell her everyday i love her. I think she was always used to it just being me and her. I told her now that she told me how she feels i can do something to fix it.

i offered to spend time w/ her tonight but she didnt want to, she said she knows she needs to but she doesnt want to. she told me she's use to being alone that she just doesnt want to spend time with me.

now im not sure how to handle this. should i make her spend time w/ me? or what do you think? i dont want her to feel this way anymore. it breaks my heart to know she's felt ignored.

Answer 1

Well, I think you might want to treat her to lunch on Sat or Sun, then go shopping and buy her somethind (jeans) or a top, and yourself something..........tell her you didn't realize..........She is 13 and her hormones are getting ready to drive her nuts, she will be moody, hateful, angry, etc......a rough time coming up..
Tell her you want to be there for her...........Go to a show together
Ask her opinion on something for a change...like your clothes, hair, dinner, etc..(.she needs to be involved in things more..)....You can tell her that you need her input on buying a christmas gift for someone. then take her suggestion...It will make her day!.. Remind her to make a list of what she wants for you...........We all want to feel needed in more ways than one. Enjoy your daughter...she is growing up fast....One more thing. Not to slight your new husband..........why not have family game night every friday, or Sat.? just a thought...good luck Mom

Answer 2

As much as you'd like it to happen, there isn't some magic solution like you just snap your fingers or say the right thing.
It also seems like she's growing apart, which is natural.
Also, this could have been a long time coming. I'm a 13 yr old girl, and I was recently in a similar situation with my mom. I'd always felt that she never really raised me (I pretty much raised myslef), because she was always at work. However, I just told her a month or so ago when I was in a semi-fight with her.
The best thing would be to do something with her often, that she wants to do, like take her shopping and to lunch every couple of weeks. Also, be sensitive of situations, like when you're talking to your husband, and brush off your daughter, or pay more attention to him. Just always concentrate fully on your daughter when she wants attention/advice, because chances are that they're rare. Although you might want to explain this to your husband, and ask him what he thinks- he might have a clear view.
But whatever happens, good luck.

Answer 3

I believe we have all been through the "I just want to be alone" phase. Try planning something ahead of time, something fun. Schedule and Mom and Daughter Day with her ahead of time so she won't make plans. I like the beauty school idea someone recommended. I would also try a movie day or maybe a (window) shopping day. Ask her if there is anything in particular she really wants to do. It will take time but she will eventually come around. keep plugging away!!

Answer 4

Mom, its ok this is what WE go through. my lady is 19 and no matter what i say or do i don't understand. you can only do what you can. remember you are the mother not the friend. spending time will help but remeber when we were 13 mom knew nothing. her feelings are hurt for now but, she will learn as she grows up that you do love her you will always be there. just listen go shopping, cooking has help me in the past let her pick out dinner. just let her know that you were her age too and thing will get better.

Answer 5

ok as a teenager my self id have to tell you that she is looking for attention. Easy way to solve this problem. Do or go some wear fun. Have a party or somthing. Then while your there instead doing something that you would normaly do at whatever your doing pay attention to her. Make jokes ect. just act like her best friend and trust me. it will all work out in the end.

Answer 6

I would take her suggestions on how she would like you to spend more time with her. Maybe you could have a girls day out were you shop then go out to eat together or pick a night were every week on that night you two can rent movies together and order some pizza? Just suggestions, I would ask her first!

Answer 7

Wow well I think you need to have a mother and daughter night once a week, go to a movie, out to dinner or something. Heck maybe if go get your hair or nails down together if your daughter likes that. Keep reminding her that you do want to spend some one on one time with her.

Answer 8

hi there...i'm 22 and my mom and i have are somewhat...enstranged. I've had a lot to deal with growing up since i was 12.we both had "intimacy" problems, but i've learned how to deal,,
it's just the way she is.
and i think it's really nice to know that your mom would listen to what you have to say and to feel that you're important to her, and to hear the affirmation of her love for you. i guess what your daughter needs to feel is that she can tell you and approach you any time and still you wouldn't waver, i think she's got a lot to deal with right now and that she shouldn't feel pressured to tell you anything right now but no matter what, you're still there to support her, help her, guide her and love her
. I guess we all just need a mom as well as a friend..

Answer 9

I feel the same way with my mom.
She's always at work, or out with her boyfriend. And it's not like she denies my existence. I know she loves me. But I can't help but feel ignored, even though I'm not. Because when I'm not ignored, it's when she's trying to act all cool and giddy around her boyfriend, or she's just telling me stuff I don't care about at all. Which makes me not want to spend time with her, because it'll just be with her boyfriend or she'll be cranky or nice to the point where I want to barf. I can't make up my mind.
Maybe it's just a part of growing up none of us know about. ): It seems like a problem either of us can fix, but I don't know how.
Please, when you find a way to make it better, tell me.

Answer 10

experience a million: next time get a rolled up newspaper and wack the situation. Why might you pour the talcum powder exterior? you need to placed it in a trash can. Its in all probability undesirable for the grass. experience 2: Your mom sounded particularly under pressure. i think of she replaced into advise calling you a tramp! this is an horrific situation to declare on your daughter. yet a minimum of she did no longer swear, this is outstanding i assume. She could have been like "bypass wash your face, please..." i do no longer think of she ought to slam the door. It hurts the ear drums, and it relatively is basically very impolite in maximum cases. a real mom might stroll in and characteristic a severe communicate, and close the door like a classic individual.