I hit my husband really hard. What Should I do?

Question

I am pregnant and the other night someone told me my husband was acting really inappropriate and hitting on this girl alot. I tried to talk to him about it, but he got really mad and I blew up and hit him 4 times really hard...so hard it bruised my hand. He is not a violent person and was hurt really bad emotionally by what I did. I grew up in an extremely abusive family and I am afraid I am part of a cycle. What should I do??? I feel so bad!

Answer 1

U shouldn't have jumped to conclusions just cause someone told u your husband was hitting on a girl. What if it weren't true and u overreacted out of nothing? If u have a history of violence I would suggest u get some professional help for yourself or check into anger management classes.

Answer 2

I am probably the most non-violent person you have ever met. When I found out my ex was cheating on me I turned into a absolute crazy woman. I hit him with whatever I could find - then kicked him down the stairs hard enough to put his head through the wall at the end. If it makes you feel any better - I have never laid a hand on anyone since and it has been more than 10 years. Sometimes things happen that make us snap. That doesn't mean you are a bad person or that it is likely to happen again. If it does - then you might seek some help to see if it is becoming a pattern, Until then - chalk it up to crazy pregnancy hormones.

Answer 3

first of all, you're pregnant and feeling very vulnerable because your husband AND father of your baby is being defensive about something he should not have been doing. you are absolutely correct that it was not OK to hit him, but i bet that even he, with his emotional damage from it, can understand a little bit where you were coming from.

what to do now, though--you really, really ought to go get some counseling. it sounds like you and your husband should get some together AND apart. just because it happened ONCE does not mean it will happen all the time from now on, but a counselor will help you (you both) use this as a doorway to change. don't let yourself spiral downward. you don't want to have a marriage like this or be a parent like this. the worst part about abuse is that the abused usually becomes the abuser but it DOESN'T HAVE TO HAPPEN that way. my mom's whole family was physically and sexually abused by a tyrannical father and mother who looked the other way, but my mom stopped the cycle and didn't ever abuse us in any way. if my mom was a success story, i know that you can be too. BEST OF LUCK ....AND ignore the mean comments, people can be morons when they choose to judge rather than to walk a mile in anothers shoes.

Answer 4

ack! Tell him you didn't relise you were doing it, tell him about your past, tell him your VERY sorry. break the "mood" by telling him he can hit you to "pay you back" (you know you got a good man when he says no, he would never do that) Expalin why you reacted the way you did. in detail. hope he can forgive you. FORGIVE YOURSELF! I know you probley have heard this already, but if your afraid that your part of the cycle & don't want to do any of the sh*t that was done to you to your kids, seek some councling. I plan on doing that when I have kids. I already kinda am, And my husband reasures me when I'm deppressed that I'm better then my parents & I'll be a wonderful mom one day. He says he can already tell by how wonderful I am with our friends kids. He also said its alright to get angry/upset sometimes. It happens.We're human, it happens. He's a wonderful WONDERFUL wonderful man!!! (sorry, I just relized just how much I Truly,Deeply LOVE my husband...)

Answer 5

u gotta first of all get some anger management....this anger business can get YOU hurt....although yur husband was quite nice and calm, there will be a time when u will seriously be slapped and will learn that u are wrong and need to change...the best u can do, is seriously appoligize to him and possibly go get some anger management therapy, so that yur husband recognizes that u are willing to change yurself. This is what u would do, if u really love him, and not willing to give it up and get divorced, im pretty sure yur not even thinking about getting divorced.

Answer 6

Well, he is a low life if he was hitting on a girl when you are with child or any other time. At the same time, you should not hit him. Violence is not the answer. Get profession help. I have been abused also by family. Break the chain.

Answer 7

with a child on the way seek professional help for you then both of you and hopefully get understanding to break this cycle before the baby comes. If you're a christian get into the word. Do whatever it takes NOW!

Answer 8

TALK TO HIM. Even though it's not right to hit, ANYONE, make sure to let him know how sorry you are. Remind him that you are pregnant and while that is not an excuse, your hormones are certainly out of control anyways. Don't promise not to do it again, though. I know that sounds stupid, but if for whatever reason it does, and you promised it wouldn't, then you just made a brute AND a liar out of yourself. Deal with it together. These things aren't easy for anyone; pregant or not.

Answer 9

u have a right to be angry, u just need to handle it in a different way, with communication, and letting him know how hurt u were, and really u both have something to apologize for. u never learned to handle problems in a non abusive way, because of how u grew up. judge him by his actions, and if he shows remorse for it.if he did this he needs to acknowledge it,and own it, not deny it and get mad at you.

Answer 10

figure out for yourself why you really did it. definately tell him how sorry you are and how you don't know what came over you, and your family history, and of course pregnant women do do alot of things out of character!

i personally would definately seek therapy though. just once is probably all you need to make sure that this was a one time thing and to find out ways to try to control it.

best of luck!