Okay, homosexuals and lesbians, I have read your answers and none of you have the same or similar answer, why?

Question

I just wanted an honest answer. One of you called me a homophobic, in your minds anyone who ask questions about your life style is automatically labeled as a homophobic. How else can you make others understand if you automatically go on the defense. I suppose I could have worded my first question a little differently. I know no one will believe me, but I have an aunt, my mother's sister, who is a lesbian. I have a first cousin, a homosexual, another cousin, a distant cousin who actually undergo a sex change. I never had any ill feelings against them, they are family, my family.

Answer 1

Gay people will have different answers because they are different people who have different life experiences. If a straight person asks a question I do not assume that they are homophobic as long as the question is asked in a non-derogatory way. I didn't notice your other question so I do not know how it was asked. Since you mention that you have family members who are gay and lesbian, the only thing I would guess is that you were curious (not in a sexual way) about how there lives are being the minority in a heterosexual majority society. If a question is in regards to an opinion of what someone thinks, you will never get the exact same answer from two different people whether they are gay or straight.

Answer 2

I have no idea what question you're asking about, but I will say that
1) The "I have a gay friend" defense is never valid. and
2) Just guessing here, but people were probably looking for the word "heterosexist". And, it may not be your fault that you're heterosexist, but it still gets really obnoxious to have to deal with it every day from new people. Yes, there is an appropriate way to "make others understand", but we shouldn't HAVE to make others understand, and it gets old and tiring after awhile. Also, as I've said many times before: look around at the other quesitons and answers on this site. People here see all kinds of hate and negativity: if there's ANY ambiguity to your question, people are going to assume you mean it in the worst way possible. THink that sucks? Thank your straight peers.

Answer 3

Then perhaps you should think about not only what you want to know, but how to say it in a manner as to be inoffensive and showing an actual desire to know an answer as compared to your previous attempt at "questioning".
"We" are individuals, not some group mind construct like Star Trek's Borg characters. You ask a question, especially one where the intent of the questioner is left in a very ambiguous position and able to be easily interpreted as a hostile jibe instead of an actual question, and you will receive many answers. Not all of those answers(as I'm sure you've discovered) will answer your question, many will answer the perceived intent behind the question. When you walk into an area in which people are attacked as a matter of "fun", some supposedly innocent questioners will get caught in the crossfire.

Answer 4

I think my particular challenge (with this site, anyway) is to distinguish between those who are uninformed and asking sincere questions and those who are baiting. Yes, to be frank, you could have worded your original question differently. I think if you ask your family members who are gay for some insight they might be able to verbalize for you why some gay people are a bit prickly when asked questions which put them on the defensive. It would, for instance, be offensive to many in the gay community (a relative term at best) to have their sexuality described as a "lifestyle". It becomes wearing, frankly, to be told ad nauseum that we have chosen to be gay. I have chosen my lifestyle for sure: what I do for a living, where I live, who my friends are, what I had for dinner, etc. I did not choose my sexuality. I only choose what kind of gay person I wish to be, not the fact that I am attracted to members of the same sex.

I also choose to believe that you are wishing to become educated and informed in an honest attempt to understand those who you perceive to be different from yourself. But you hopefully see, perhaps, that gay people are not of one mind. We are no more a monolith of opinion and taste and attitude than heterosexuals. We are, in fact, more like heterosexuals than we are different from them. Naturally, we know more about heterosexuality than you would know about homosexuality. We were raised to be straight, after all, and have borne the pressure to conform to an ideal which isn't a comfortable 'fit'. At the end of the day, however, I think we (gay or not) generally want the same things: love and acceptance, understanding, security, respect for our individual beliefs and hope in our respective futures.......

I don't really expect you to have instant empathy or understanding for people who are gay. I struggled with my own sexuality throughout my adolescence. If I went through such a challenging process of acceptance how could I, in all fairness, expect more from you? We all just do the best we can with the information we are given.

Answer 5

Because we're all different individuals with different circumstances....


This was one of your questions you asked:

Instead of adopting, as some homosexual couples and lesbian couples do,?
why not they just get together and have heterosexual sex amongst themselves strictly for reproductive reason? Wouldn't that be better than adopting? Of course, the lesbians can actually get artificial insemination.

what kind of a question is that....we have the right to adopt and personally I believe childen are better off with two mommies or two daddies...I don't believe you have any gay family members..

Answer 6

Well, if someone questioned the way you are, wouldn't you get a little defensive? There's a big difference between asking a question and offending a population. And if we do answer differently, it's because we are all free-thinking individuals who can form our own opinions about things.

Answer 7

So what is it you want to know? Most of us probably get on the defense because the question "why are you gay?" gets asked at least a hundred thousand times a day. It gets old, then-if you'll only take a look around-you'll see we have enough haters who disguise their hateful questions, making them seem like honest ones.
So, if you were offended, I do apologize. Mind asking your question again?

Answer 8

well #1, a lesbian IS a homosexual. and #2, you cant expect to get the same answer out of all homosexuals because they are all differnt and just cuz they like the same sex doesnt mean they all think the same and have the same values and stuff.

Answer 9

gays and lesbians dont have the same or similar answer because they are different people. just because they have similar lifestyles doesnt mean they are programed robots. its not a life choice. its how they are. it doesnt matter what their sexual orientation is. they are individuals. despite the fact that lesbians/gays and transgenders are in your family, you dont seem to be aware that they are people.


and just so you dont try to tell me im a defensive lesbian, i just want you to know i am straight, with an understanding of people because i listen.

Answer 10

Whats the question? I dont see one.

Moreover, why would you suppose that a whole group of people would have the same answer?

Youre not generalizing are you?

Get back to us when you have a question.