Would any of you men have a different outlook on looking at porn if you new this?

Question

What if your girlfriend,spouse told you that she was raped when she was younger but you just didnt get why she was upset about you looking at porn. She doesnt trust any man but the one she is with and feels betrayed because he is looking these images and doesnt act like its any big deal and does it anyway she begins to feel distant from you and all the man cares about is his own self and needs.And doesnt respect her enough to quit. Just wondering your thoughts on this and how to help afriend who needs to get past this she hasnt ever told anyone but him not even her parents and she was wondering if I could help give her advice on what to do.

What if I were to also tell you her the person who did this to her lived in the same home and watched porn after it happened and every time his friends were around and she was always teased about stuff that revolved around sex from the one who did this to her and his friends[they didnt know it happened]. So now that she is an adult and hasnt ever told anyone but her husband she feels betrayed and even though he isnt that monster feels that he is in a way because he makes her feel disgusting and doesnt respect her enough to quit until she has had enough and has to replay all the past to him to get him to understand so yes it has alot to do with the past.

Answer 1

Woah this is a big one. 1st of all i'm female and don't agree with men treating women like meat. (I'm sure if a girl told her father she was a porn star he wouldn't be too proud.) Now, if this girl's bf cares about her the same way she cares about him, he would stop looking at porn out of respect for her reasons. Maybe she needs to find someone a little more caring to her opinions.

Answer 2

okay im not a man i am a female and have had been raped when i was younger i also know alot of ppl who feel the way she does but here is my answer. He probly wont stop and there are many things out in this world that support porn even some marriage counselors do she really needs to get professional help with this because nothing in this world will ever give her peace on what has happened to her. porn isnt the blame for it though and someone who cares about her needs to tell her that because porn doesnt make people rape other people it just means that thier is bad out there and unfortunately it found her but not everyone is like that.sure i agree porn doesnt help because there are rapist that look at things like that and it makes them go out and find someone to hurt. tell her i am so sorry that this has happened to her but if she is uncomfortable with it and this relationship with her boyfriend doesnt work out tell her she needs to tell her future boyfriends her perspective on porn before it goes any further into a relationship so she will know what she is getting into and also let her know that there are guys out there that dont look at porn but most of them have a christian outlooks because im sorry but i think almost every man looks at it. its human nature. hope this helps

Answer 3

I have kinda been through the same thing. I was molested as as child by my grandfather. My husband looked at porn ticked me off to the point of wanting a divorce. I asked over and over till 9 yrs of marriage i had to tell him why it upset me so badly. I felt betrayed when he looked at porn. Looking at other naked women made me feel like he was cheating without actually cheating.

Answer 4

My ex-wife told me she hated the fact that I looked at a girlie mag while she was in Chicago for two weeks,(beginning of marriage) while I stayed back to work, (she even handed me back her wedding ring over this-we talked it out)-then MUCH later in the "relationship" (prior to asking for a divorce)-she all of the sudden wanted us to watch porns together, but did not wish to do the things in the porn. (and had a sudden interest in sex-where before I complied understandingly with her drives-another issues-some genetically-and also her hangups) Her first husband told me she had issues with sex, (he even went 15 months without before) her behaviors, and some things she told me at times led me to believe she did. And I feel that bad things happened to her, and compromised because I loved her. She is completely sexually messed up in the head. And has since screwed me over SO BADLY, in too many ways to list here, so---Dunno what to tell you. But he should respect her wishes still.

Answer 5

The problem is one "you "need to address !
You need counseling about the Rape .
You don`t have the Right to control what another person likes ,because of what happened to you .
He could be more understanding and not watch it when you are present ,but this issue is not related to the rape.
I hope you can work through your trauma but ,controlling what someone else does is not the way to deal with YOUR problem.

Answer 6

porn is necessary for a guy so he does not cheat and act
out his fantasies or needs. A man needs either sex or
relief by masturbation. MAsturbation requires stimulation-which means either a dull magazine or the computer .If a guy does
not even masturbate,that is not healthy.
So, porn is not all bad. And remeber a guy can;t force a woman
to have sex when she does not want it- so what is a guy to do???

Answer 7

I don't understand what porn has to do being raped or molested. Your friend need to look deep in herself to find out why she is so threatened by a man looking at porn. Looking at porn is just a visual stimuli men use. You say that he doesn't respect her enough to stop but, why can't she respect him enough to realize that this is just part of his life....

Answer 8

this guy is an idiot. my hiding spot for porn is like a bat cave. no woman has ever found my porn. This guy is so stupid to get caught multiple times.

Answer 9

OMG......you have hit what happened to me on the nose. I don't trust men. I didnt really understand it until i just read this. I can't really help you........but thank you.......I am not crazy.

Answer 10

Tell your " Friend " to drop the bum .