alot of people think im weird because im being myself and they dont understand how hard i try to be nice to them and my friends think im cool with my outfits and addittudes towards other people...the guy i like likes me alot but dosent really show it and it hurts me to kno that im trying my hardest but its not working...sumtimes i feel like sumtimes ppl r talking behind my back and spreading rumours aboutm e around the school that r not true...wut should i do??
<33 shygirl
2006-11-03 11:48:38 · 4 answers · asked by kiss the girl<3 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Well, first off, and I mean this sincerely, not trying to be funny - take a deep breath. Let it out slowly. Then do it again.
Read over your question, as though you didn't ask it, but someone else asked it of you. Does anything pop out? What I notice is that you "try to be nice" and you're "trying my hardest."
So how about giving yourself a break? Not trying so hard?
Here's the thing - you can't control what other people think, say, or do. There's times we'd all love to, but you can't. About all you can control is you, but that's a lot...
> you can make a good faith effort to be kind and honorable, so when (not if, when - it happens to everyone) someone gossips about you, other people will know it isn't true (which won't keep some people from talking about you - some people just will do that - but at least you'll know there's no reason for anyone to believe it).
> you can make sure you have a lot of interests to occupy your mind so it doesn't have time to chew over what people said, how they looked at you, whatever. Think about this stuff too much and you'll chew off your own foot from stress. Focus on other things, hobbies, interests, etc., and you'll build your own confidence, and not give that part of your brain any time to worry about what other people think...
> which is good, because you really don't know what they're thinking. Most people are not worried about what you do/say/wear... they're worried about what other people think of what THEY are doing/saying/wearing. As my mom used to say, "we're all on each others' minds a lot less often than we think."
While you're worrying about how you come off to other people, they are worrying the same thing about themselves.
Now let's look at the guy thing, a whole 'nother area of frustration. You say he likes you a lot, but doesn't show it? Well, I don't know him or you, so let's say you're right and he does -- how about relaxing a bit there, too?
Be friendly, but let him decide if he wants to pursue you, or not. If you're "trying your hardest, but it's not working," then try something else - like meeting some new people (see "hobbies and interests" above) who enjoy the things you enjoy (and if you don't know what those things are, this is a great time to experiment). If this guy is interested, maybe he just wants a bit of breathing room.
Let things relax for a while, then talk to him about something you have in common, then ask him to do something you both enjoy, skating, see a movie, go to a museum, whatever. If he says no, well, there might be a whole host of reasons, most of which have nothing to do with you, but he might say "yes."
Meantime, you can stop trying so hard, give yourself a break, and try enjoying who you are. People like other people who seem to be comfortable with themselves and having a good time - because they're more likely to be comfortable around them and have a good time.
So. Wut should you do? Relax, chickie, have some fun, and just like yourself as you are - then enjoy the people who enjoy you. Good luck!
2006-11-03 12:03:21 · answer #1 · answered by peculiarpup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a tough issue and you shouldn't be changing who you are because if you do people will think that you are a stalker or something because you are trying too hard to be popular. Just stay who you are and if it would help try changing your personality a little bit then what you should do is try to not dress up in the weird clothes but start a little bit at a time or you will become the wanna-be in the school
2006-11-03 20:09:07 · answer #2 · answered by smart smart. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it shows that ppl that talk behind your back are not true friends. go with your gut trust my im a very nice girl i show my real self at school witch is the same as what you do.dont worry what other ppl think of you.
go for it reach for the stars
2006-11-03 19:54:34 · answer #3 · answered by Tiffany F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people think im weird to..i think, but who cares you can only be you, if the guy you like doesnt care...there'd be no point in liking him, usually no one spreads rumors cuz they usually hav better things to do....stick wit your friends and chill
2006-11-03 20:45:16 · answer #4 · answered by hmongheroz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋