he was watching live videos and talking to girls, this has really broke my heart and caused major problems in our marriage, i carnt get over it, he says hes sorry and was just curious but he was doing it for months, i feel like hes cheated am i overreacting?
2006-11-03 11:18:33 · 54 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do the back and see how he likes it.
2006-11-04 02:05:40 · answer #1 · answered by Jo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-16 05:15:40 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not overreacting, what he did is wrong and very damaging to your relationship. There should only be 2 people in a marriage, even looking at magazine porn puts pictures of women in a man's head that have no right to be there. You need to gently point out that this matters, that it means that the 2 of you have a problem, (don't tell him HE has a problem, but make it yours too) and that you feel maybe you should get counselling to help. It does help, honestly.
2006-11-05 06:28:17 · answer #3 · answered by good tree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i don't think you are over reacting, however, what matters is if you and he want to salvage the marriage. I would consider talking about it as adults. Conversation is very important, and decide is the marriage worth saving. It is like having an affair, trust has been violated. marriage counseling may be helpful. I wish you the best of luck, of course you are upset. Any women would be. But also keep in mind that men have a different opinion when it comes to porn, he really probably does not feel as though he was cheating. this is why it is important to talk it out and let him know exactly how you feel and go from there. I wish you the best of luck. God bless.
2006-11-03 11:26:20 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Something similar happened to me. I would first say don't make any rash choices, you are hurt at the moment, I know I was.
You need to sit down and seriously think about things that may be wrong in your marriage, when you have been married for some time it is easy to become complacent. I did this and found that I had being taking my husband for granted, and that our intimate side had dwindled, this does not excuse what you husband has done, have you ever told him not to go on those sites, have you discussed your feelings about such sites, so that he already knew how it would upset you.
Men look at other women, its a fact of life, its due to genetics lol.
You can build the trust again, but it will take time. I still have moments where I feel insecure, but you do need trust in your marriage, if I hadnt start to give this back to him then my marriage would be over. I don't think he thought it would hurt me so much, as it meant very little to him.
No one can really give you the answer that is right for you, you just need to consider if you marriage is worth saving. Mine was and I am glad I did.
2006-11-03 19:05:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
marriage is based on trust, if you don't trust him anymore then it can't work. Sorry. Just curious is the staple answer, Its what anyone says when caught red handed. If you have children then this is doubly sad, but don't stay together for the kids, all you'll do is be miserable and they will suffer.
Sot down and talk it out with him, why did he feel the need to use this site, is he getting enough at home, do you still have an active sex life. It isn't easy, but if you can not reconcile then it's time to let go and get on with the rest of your lives.
Good Luck
2006-11-03 11:25:42 · answer #6 · answered by flibertyjib 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
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2016-04-22 10:34:28 · answer #7 · answered by leanora 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boys and there porn... All guys have some somewhere you just found his. Your married think of this as an opportunity to spice things up. In your situation I would try to end the chatting with the gals over the Internet and compromise with him. So he doesn't have to be ashamed and hide things from you maybe you should indulge in some of his interests. You could watch a "movie" together and rediscover what you both like. I hope you 2 get over
If none of that works and your fed up with the Internet porn you can always BLOCK the WEBSITE.
2006-11-03 11:34:14 · answer #8 · answered by Sandy 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
No, you're not overreacting. Curiosity is once or twice. A pattern for months is more than that. There's a really good site at http://XXXchurch.com (The "#1 Christian Porn Site). Whether you are religious or not, there are good resources there -- including an anonymous blog for women whose husbands are struggling.
You didn't do anything wrong. This is in no way YOUR fault. You have every right to be hurt, but realize that it's a widespread problem and it can only change with outside help. He needs accountability.
2006-11-03 19:23:50 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are going to get a ton of different outlooks on this. Personally, I would feel the same way you do - I would feel cheated on. It comes down to the way you feel. Your husband knows you, so he should know this would hurt you. How would he feel if you did the same thing? I can imagine you are very hurt right now. Ask your hubby if he would be willing to go to marriage counseling. Best of luck.
2006-11-03 11:43:17 · answer #10 · answered by Carey L 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You are not overreacting you have a rite to do that. if i were u, i would have probably leeft him.. but u cud listen to him (if you can stilll trust him) and give him a chance if he's stil the same then i think he needs help or marriage counselling. talk to him. if he loves n cares abt u he wont do it agen or break ur heart. try to tell him hoe u feel.. God luck!!!
2006-11-03 21:42:31 · answer #11 · answered by :) 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋