I dont think my mother would care I think she already knows but my father on the hand he said he would beat the gay out of me (joking). I have quite a few gay friends and I think it would be easier to come out to them but im not sure??? I don't know if this matters but im 13 years old and have just been confused for 2 years now...PLEASE HELP I'M GOING CRAZY!!!!!
2006-11-03 11:14:49 · 28 answers · asked by Tyler 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I dont think my mother would care I think she already knows but my father on the hand he said he would beat the gay out of me (joking). I have quite a few gay friends and I think it would be easier to come out to them but im not sure??? I don't know if this matters but im 13 years old and have just been confused for 2 years now...PLEASE HELP!!!
And yes i know im only 13 BUT i have lets say have dated 2 other boys for about 2 years and in th prosses of snaggin another one. IM SURE IM GAY.
2006-11-04 03:49:57 · update #1
That's sooooooooo cool that you know at that age. I had conflicting feelings from age 16 through age 21, then I finally came out and accepted it. Coming out is an ongoing process. In life you will always run into a situation that people will assume that you are straight, and you have to be yourself.
I would wait until you are absolutely sure you won't upset your home life. At age 13, you need to be focusing on school and preparing yourself for the outside world. Your Dad might be joking, but maybe there is some serious issues for him that might cause him to through you out... I've seen it before. If you are sure your family will love you no matter what, then be honest and tell them. Be prepared for all the questions they will ask. It would be in your best interest to find some counseling for you and your family. Here in San Diego, we have a Gay & Lesbian Center with a great youth program. Hopefully your city has such a place for you to connect with the Gay Community. It's up to you to help your parents not get all crazy by supplying them with accurate information about what being gay means to you.
2006-11-03 12:21:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Don't go crazy, dude! Look into what being gay is all about. There are many sites that will give you an idea on how to come out to family and friends. Another resource you might check out is Eric Anderson's "The Cult of Masculinity," which is a fine resource with some helpful tactics on coming out.
I do agree with most everyone here. You are only 13. You have many years ahead of you, take it slowly, talk with people, and try to understand yourself, before you make a big decision like this, because this decision will forever change your life.
2006-11-03 11:43:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, first of all, u need to find out if u r actually gay, sometimes its just amatuer urges or signs of bisexuality. my own dad told me and my brothers that if we ever confessed gay or lesbian thoughts he would disown us which is very mean even though me and all my brothers r straight. second of all, if ur dad does beat u, u r of the age where that is not only wrong but illegal and if he harms u u have every right to report his srry sexist ***. dont wrry too much about it, ur mom is ur mom and will love u no matter what, ur friends r gay so theyll cope, ur big wrry is ur dad. keep ur space from him after u tell him or he might automatically tihnk that u r interested in his anoatomy only because u r gay, this is a sick thought for a parent, only because they r nervous around u now, but take it easy, everything will trun out fine, im about the same age as u and sometime si think im a little odd because i dont like smoke or something, but thats fine, its perfectly healthy to be who u r. if ur dad has any opinion about the matter that is ofennsive to u tell him to go get a life, its not up to him what u do because u r ur own person and u have another parent that will still love u just as much, so hang around that parent more then ur dad. itll e ok, its not u that has a prob, its ur dad cause he is a decriminater and this is an evil thing.
p.s. im totally up for gay and lesbian marriages and i support anyone that has a mind of their own and the courage to go agaisnt the stadards, even though i have a bf iv been going strong with for the last 2 years.
2006-11-03 12:31:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
To tell you the truth, a lot of people DO first come out to people that they KNOW will accept it. If you feel that your friends will welcome you as a gay person with open arms then start the process there. Ask them if they've came out to their parents, how and when and why they did it.
Also, you could try contacting a PFLAG organization in your area. That stands for Parents and Friends of Lesbians And Gays. They are an organization with the specific goal of supporting those who are related to or are friends with gay persons.
Now it may be that one or both parents react in a negative or confused way.... but that's normal. Remember, you've been confused for years and only now are you considering becoming comfortable enough with yourself to tell the truth to your loved ones. You can't expect all of them to accept it instantly. You have to give them the time that you gave yourself. Be patient... most (if not all) will eventually accept it and love you for who you REALLY are.
2006-11-03 11:31:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, make sure that you will have the proper supports in place for coming out. PFLAG, GLSEN, and your school's GSA (if you have one) are always a good place to start to look for resources to help with the coming out process. You say that you have quite a few gay friends. These will probably be the easiest people to come out to. As they are also gay and your friend they will understand where you are coming from and be able to support you.
As far as coming out to your parents - are you sure that you are ready for this step of your life. If you are, there are a couple of things to remember. One, it will most likely take your parents quite a bit of time to become comfortable with the fact that you are gay. Be sure that you give them plenty of time to come to terms with the info that you are sharing with them. Also, be prepared for them to not take it well. Make sure that you will have a place to stay and food on the table on the off chance that they would have an adverse reaction and kick you out of their house.
One last thing, always remember that the people who stop caring about you once they find out you're gay obviously didn't care that much about you in the first place. Never compromise who you are just to make someone else happy!
2006-11-03 11:26:56 · answer #5 · answered by riot grrrl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't go crazy, just break it to them slowly, and don't pay attention to some of the sick things said on here. I'd talk to your mother, like someone else suggested. Let her know how you feel. Try to get them to understand that it will be hard enough for you as it is, and that you'd love their support. Tell them to remember that you're still their son, and that the only thing that has changed is your sexual preference. If they're upset, it will take them awhile to understand and adjust. Never try to be anything other than what you are. If you do, it will just complicate things more and you'd be living a lie.
2006-11-03 11:28:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sixteen and I still haven't told hardly anyone in my family that I'm bi. My friends however I trust enough to let them know, and since I hang with them more it's more conveniant that they know. You on the other hand may not have friends mature enought to accept your decision, just keep it to yourself until the time comes when you think they can accept you.
If that time doesn't come then get some new friends and don't waste your time on homophobes. Basically just wing it, but if you see a guy you like don't let anyone stop you and be prepared to face the consequences.
2006-11-03 11:26:38 · answer #7 · answered by Rageling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I came out to my mum about 3 years ago when i was 17, i only told my dad last year. One thing you need to make sure to yourself is that you are gay, there is no rush or pressure to come out, especialy at your age. Before my parents knew my friends knew, however they were older than you, but they were fine with it and really accepting. The main thing is that there is no rush, being gay does not make you who you are, but contributes only a small part of what makes you who you are :)
2006-11-03 13:00:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your friends are gay, I don't think they'll mind that you're gay, too. Just a thought... lol. The difficult part is your parents, but from what I can tell, I think it wouldn't matter THAT much if you confirmed it for them. There may be SOME awkwardness, but if you think they're open-minded enough, it'll most definitely pass. Ultimately, it is your decision if you want to tell or not. I personally just think it's better to go through this with some friends on your side.
2006-11-03 11:19:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
First of all, most of the answers that you received so far are just nonsense. If you are gay and want to come out to your family and friends, then do it. Your parents are supposed to love you unconditionally. You say that your father will take it the worst. A father loves his son no matter what. It may take him awhile, but as long as you are happy, he should be too. I know that if my son came to me and told me that he was gay, I would be taken back, but he is my son and will always love him, and support his decision. You need to be you, no matter what. Take care
2006-11-03 11:24:15 · answer #10 · answered by Andrea B 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋