as he has been a lot lately, including the times the bosses take his team out for dinner after work. Calls at the last minute to skip lunch dates with me, and his attitude when he is home makes me feel like he does not want to be here. We have been married for 9 years, this job is only 6 months old. Would you wonder if there is more going on than just busy at work, and stressed out about his job?? Sometimes I wonder if I am crazy to trust so much. Would you?
2006-11-03 10:44:19 · 19 answers · asked by Smilingcheek 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He also has been working almost every weekend lately. He never did that before and I ask if anyone else is and he never really has a good answer. So much time away....
2006-11-03 10:48:12 · update #1
He could be telling the truth about working late-especially on a new job. He may be stressed out trying to make an impression and get ahead at work, which in some jobs (like mine), takes an incredible amount of time, effort and energy. I go home cranky and frustrated much of the time. I would have to try hard to contain the joy if every now and then, my wife would go hang out with some friends or something and drop the kids off somewhere so I could have the house to myself after work when I finally get home.
If it just started with the new job, I wouldn't worry about it too much. If you really need assurance, offer to drop off lunch to him at his worksite or something or just drop in on him to tell him you love him.
2006-11-03 11:06:26 · answer #1 · answered by Leroy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok so been there doing that! You are not alone. MY husband works about 80 hours a week sometimes we go 3 days straight with out seeing him or even talking on the phone to him. When he is home he is pissy and tired all of the time. I use to think he was having an affair but he gets paid hourly so I keep track of his hours and then look at the paycheck. If it is off I question but it is almost always right. he might just be under stress at work or trying to impress his boss with the late hours since his job is only 6 months old. You as a wife and woman would know. Look inside yourself for happiness before you let others make you happy.
2006-11-03 18:49:02 · answer #2 · answered by momof2inla 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you've been married to the man for nine years, you probably have a good idea if something's not quite right. The fact that his "attitude" at home is different doesn't sound good to me.
You shouldn't feel guilty about trusting you husband, it's a big part of any marriage. But if you "feel" that something is wrong, maybe it is. Can you get him to sit down and talk to you? Tell him how you feel and see what his reaction is.
It could be his new job, it could be something else. You need to talk to him asap. I wish you the best.
2006-11-03 18:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by Mugsy's Place 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before any assuming can continue I would suggest sitting your husband down and let him know everything you feel. This is the only way you can reach a real understanding of what is going on at work and why when he is home it feels to you he does not want to be there.
Without asking him your just guessing at things and sometimes men get caught up in there jobs and situations at work and they completely disregard family but they can't read our minds when these things affect us.
Communicate and see how it goes.
2006-11-03 18:53:23 · answer #4 · answered by Happy2bAlive 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he salary or hourly? If he is hourly his paycheck should reflect all this OT. Honestly, my hubby works in I.T so he does have times he works late and weekends and I do not worry. Are you able to call his work desk and have him pick up? Can you stop by his work to bring him lunch or dinner? If so, do that. Being as though this is a new job he may just being trying to make a good impression, I have done that.
2006-11-03 19:52:04 · answer #5 · answered by Carey L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel hun because my man is always gone too and some people would probably try to tell me the same thing that he's gettin some on the side and such but he works with his family and he does lawns so I always know were he is. as far as trust, you have to go with you gut feelings on this and don't always trust a complete stranger before your husband.Do you have kids? That makes it harder too. just be careful and don't give up too soon, he may just be working extra hard to support his family.try talking to him and he seems like he is getting aggrivated too easily he may have something to hide.If he doesn't want to talk at all then I would say to tell him you need some time alone and see what he does.
reverse phycology hun, it gets them every time!!
2006-11-03 19:17:56 · answer #6 · answered by ///\oo/\\\ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband works late to and sometimes yes i do think he doing something wrong he has to work every weekend or go in early and he never has time for me we have been going though some things but ask if you can bring him lunch or something like that and see what happens no you are not crazy to trust too much we just get lonely i guess and my husband says I'm always on yahoo i need to talk to somebody if he ain't here to do it
2006-11-03 18:54:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I admit that it does sound very suspicious and very much like that cliche of someone who claims to "work late" but is actually having an affair. There's no reason to guess about whether he's telling the truth or not. If you're unsure, suprise him at his job one of the nights he's working late with dinner. This is the quickest, easiest, and best way to find out.
2006-11-03 18:48:16 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nope. Sounds like he's got something on the side, hon. I think you knew that, though. You're a smart woman. Figure out where he's going or who he's seeing. He has given you lots of reasons not to trust him. Trust your instincts.
2006-11-03 18:48:34 · answer #9 · answered by Lynda M ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally wouldn't trust him.(maybe from my experiences) I would try to ride by where he says he is when he is woking late. Is his car there? are other people around? also, if his overall attitude is bad there may be something going on.
2006-11-03 18:48:40 · answer #10 · answered by Angel2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋