Is it me or does it appear that people just can't make the effort in marriage anymore.
All these posts I see where, hubby/wife cheated, getting more romance etc.
We put all this time and effort into dating and then getting married only to flush it down the toilet by not keeping that excitment alive. Almost like the Happiness Fairy will come down and make sure all is good
No wonder the world is such a mess. We want it all but just don't wnat to put in the effort.
2006-11-03 10:43:01 · 18 answers · asked by SRC 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To clear up my point......
We spend a lot of time dating, attracting a partner only to stop once married. Why even bother to date, let alone marry if you can't put in the effort when it really counts. Anyone can promise the world, but making that world a reality takes work.
2006-11-03 10:48:58 · update #1
I have seen lots of my friends get married then divorced. But being on the outside, I see how they both failed to make that effort.
Marriage is a job you apply for and are hired for (So to speak) Either you want it or you don't. Not for everyone, granted but if your going to get married the put in the effort like you would anyother job.
2006-11-03 10:54:07 · update #2
Yes, reading through many of these questions (and answers as well) can make a person cynical. Unfortunately, there's a lot of cluelessness---not only about making a commitment that will last, and putting in the effort, but also about what men and women need at the deepest levels.
But if you look around in the "real" world, not just on this site where so many problems are discussed, you'll find plenty of people still married, raising families, and then enjoying grandchildren. I've found that it's best to make your closest friendships with people who are, like you seem to be, committed to keeping their marriages intact.
2006-11-03 18:48:14 · answer #1 · answered by ragged 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I see now what you mean. Yes, I see that to a certain extent, but it's not ALWAYS like that. I know many many people who still got the spark alive in their relationship and put lots of effort forth to make it work. ;) In some cases, it doesn't neccessarily need alot of effort, it just works out naturally....for those few lucky people who end up in a relationship like that.
Add on: It's pretty easy for you to judge your friends' past relationships, marriages, etc., but sweetie...Until you've been there, done that, how can you know what they've been through? I'm sure they had every intention of putting 100% effort into the relationship at the beginning. But stuff happens. No respectable person willingly goes into a marriage saying "Eh, once the rings on the finger, who cares anymore?" You didn't live in their shoes, and you don't know what could have gone on behind closed doors.
2006-11-03 18:48:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Look at the fairy tells we grow up with. Everything leads to the marriage, but doesn't mention that Prince Charming was driven crazy by Cinderella's need to constantly scrub the floor. We are taught the end and be all of romantic love is marriage, but we aren't taught what to do after the wedding night.
Its no wonder that so many people are then surprised that marriage is work. The pay off on dating is marriage, but what's the pay off to marriage?
2006-11-03 19:12:46 · answer #3 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well just to let you know there is no such thing as the happiness fairy what these people have to realize is that when you take this vow which I did also you have to work at it unfortunately I am seperated from my husband over 12 years and havent seen anything out there that the happiness fairy can fix.
2006-11-03 18:47:13 · answer #4 · answered by postal_marg 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For one thing, I agree with what you are saying about spouses not putting the same effort into marriage that they put into dating.
On the other hand, since it is a Q&A site, I believe a disproportionate ratio of the questions and comments being negative is to be expected.
2006-11-03 18:54:19 · answer #5 · answered by Leroy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
think of your favorite comfy chair or old comfy slippers
you love them so you keep them around but you are so used to them being there- they feel just right -that you forget just why it was you became so fond of them that you kept them around without even thinking twice about it
unfortunately
some people hold on to possessions longer than their marriages even some through more than one marriage
everyone is their own happiness fairy
love matures and hopefully the partners mature and grow also.
people now live in the me first society who only want immediate self gratification
sad but true how many do not get it
2006-11-03 19:09:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm married, but I promised myself if it doesn't work out...I'm not getting involved again!!! I don't need it, I'm tired. Tired of being faithful and getting **** on by men who are dogs. It seems to be a waste anymore.
2006-11-03 18:51:51 · answer #7 · answered by Angel2 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
our messes make the world go round life is not perfect nobody want their marriage to fell like we dont want our love ones to die or get hurt but things happens and we have to deal with as life hands it to us
2006-11-03 18:48:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your right too bad it only takes one of the two to not try.
2006-11-03 18:46:02 · answer #9 · answered by Honest Injun 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
now im only 13 i cant really help you with this one but good luck finding some good advice from the nice ladies and gentellman from this site.
2006-11-03 18:45:55 · answer #10 · answered by Tiffany F 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋