Meeting Grandma?

Question

I am in my 20's and never met my mom's mom.
She disowned my mom a year before I was born over a family fued.
Last week it was my mom's 50th birthday and she called my mom and acted like they had never had a dispute (she never apologized to my mom for the hell she raised).
She is meeting my mom for the 1st time in 25 years tomorrow.
My mom would like me to come along to meet my so called "grandma"- and I dont want to- she abused my mom as a child, and never acknowleged me- Why now?
Think I have the right to decline this relationship?

PS- 'Grandma" is not a nice woman- she is mean, verbally abusive, and addicted to painkillers- I really dont think I will be missing out on anyone that is signifigant

Answer 1

For any reason at all, go for your mother. She may need your shoulder to lean on. Show her the great mother/daughter relationship you and your mother have together, something she missed out on. I think your mom needs you and you should be there no matter what. You don't need to have a relationship with this woman ever again, it's your choice after that. Good-luck to you and your mother.

Answer 2

Though I believe you have a right to decline this meeting. I also believe you should in fact go if not for yourself to meet blood then to go in support of your mother. What if something happens and your not there to comfort her. Im hoping your relationship with your mother is a good one. You dont have to consider this woman your grandma all you need to do however as a concerned child is stand up for the goodness in your mother. She may end up needing a shoulder to cry on and you already sound as though you know so much about the situation. GOOD LUCK. Who knows maybe it will flop and then you dont have to worry about asking questions like these anymore. Either way family is family and if anyone deserves a second try family does. Be there for your mom.

Answer 3

This a touchy topic, but I think that if she never even tried to make contact with you then why should you even bother. I know that its your grandma but that just isn't right for her to hold a grudge or hard feelings against you because of a disagreement that your mother and her had. Since you are at the age of making your own desicions, and have been for a while now, then why didn't your grandma come and talk with you before now? I am sorry that you never got to know your grandma, but apparently she doesn't even care enough about you to try to contact you all these years.

Answer 4

While I can understand your feelings, your Mom has asked you go to with her. For that alone, you should go. Although the woman hasn't had a part in your life, she is your biological grandmother. Things that happened before you were born played a part in your life, of course, but you may never have another chance. I think you should go, and just see what's what. You can at least be there to support your Mom and whatever decision she makes.

Answer 5

Go!! Show her what a beautiful granddaughter she has missed out on. You will be the bigger person. If you don't you may always wonder. Support your Mom. Two is better than one. You can both leave if it is not good. It is hard to forget but we can all forgive.

Answer 6

I think your mom is asking you to come with for support. This reuinion is going to be very difficult for her. You just have to be brave and go with her to help her out in this tough situation.

Answer 7

she could have changed, she obviously made an effort to call.

You have the option to decline sure, but she made the effort to give you the option of meeting her. So its really up to you.

Answer 8

2 wrongs dont make a right be the bigger person

Answer 9

she is your grandma. you may not love her but she is still your grandma.

Answer 10

JUST MEET HER. WHAT DON'T KILL YOU WILL MAKE YOU ALOT STRONGER.