He is 16 years older than me and sometimes I think that he is trying to make me feel bad or to make me feel like I did something wrong. He always has a reason. He is tired. He is sick. I seem tired. He fell asleep with the kids. This has been going on for ten years. I used to cry and beg but now I almost don't care. Still I'm asking advice.
2006-11-03 08:52:19 · 31 answers · asked by threeinsea 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need a therapy session.
2006-11-03 08:53:36 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt Honesty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you mean he won't be intimate with you at all, or physically won't come into your bed. Either way, you've got to confront him about what's going on with him. As men age the libido can slow down quite a bit. Is he overweight? Depressed maybe? Stressed out from trying to make ends meet? Tell him that you love him more than anything and you really miss his touch. Don't pressure him for sex, but do be gentle and kind and keep telling him how attractive he is. Tell him it's OK for him to sleep in the same bed. You've let it go on now for ten years so either you make another effort to help him change things, or before you know it you'll have become completely and involuntarily celibate!
2006-11-03 09:08:43 · answer #2 · answered by karen W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, he's 16 years older than you, right? Well, that's probably 1 reason. He probably just wants someone his own age.
If you're really THAT desperate... then try to set the mood. Put on some romantic music, light some candles and turn out the lights, and maybe instead of music, watch a romantic movie. After a couple minutes, start acting a LITTLE bit more.... how do I say this.... ummm.. horny....
Good luck
2006-11-03 08:56:41 · answer #3 · answered by Lindsie S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you ask the people on this site if you should care? Only you can answer that question.
But it sounds like your marriage, if you want to call it that, was over ten years ago. Cry and beg? I would have just walked out and found a nice apt. for me and the kids.
2006-11-03 08:55:59 · answer #4 · answered by theophilus 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he is 16 years older than you may have something to do with it. I don't mean anything bad by that. He may have started to slow down some. It happens as you get older. Obviously you know that when there is an age difference involved you are going to reach different seasons in your life at different times. Talk to him about it and let him know how you are feeling.
2006-11-03 08:57:23 · answer #5 · answered by bttrfly0724 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try talking to him maybe there is some medical condition that he has and is unaware of it , try making an appoinment for martial conselling or something maybe he feels inadequet , or maybe u need to maker the first step , find someone to watch the kids for the weekend so its just u and hubby turn off the phone etc and walk around the house in skimpy clothes or something , try renting a video to see if that gets him in the mood , , the other thing i hate to say is he has fallen out of love with u and is only in it now because of the kids , so talk to him adn , see if that helps , then if theres nothing wroung etc make that move
2006-11-03 08:57:19 · answer #6 · answered by dale621 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need marriage counseling. It looks like he doesn't care anymore. If he is sixteen years older than you then he should realize that it might be too late for him to get someone else. SO dont feel bad. You obviously love him or you wouldn't put up with it. Look for help. If he refuses then move on. You have a lovely life ahead of you.
2006-11-03 09:00:05 · answer #7 · answered by urhomiesid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't think badly of him. His actions are not as rare as you might think. I'm 52, my wife is 42, we've been married for 14 years, we have an 11-year-old and a 9-year-old, and we have sex about once a month. Sometimes less than that. I used to worry about it, but, after talking to some friends and doing some research, I discovered that that's just about normal. Hollywood and women's magazines would have you believe that every man is a sex hound, but it just ain't true. When older men start feeling like older men, and when older women start looking like older women the sex drive can be seriously affected for men. It doesn't mean we don't love our wives, it just simply means the sex drive isn't there like it used to be.
2006-11-03 09:01:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Women are at there sexual peak at age 40 Men at age 19 .
I would have him checked out if he falling asleep a lot tired a lot Falling asleep when someone talking to him he could have a heart condition Maybe his libido is off. Is he eating well I would have the Dr check him out.
2006-11-03 08:57:30 · answer #9 · answered by dianehaggart 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven;t slept with my husband for at least 15 yrs. I don't count anymore. His reason is that he is too old for that nonsense (hes 52) I've given up but I won;t cheat on him. And I know for a fact he is not cheating on me. You have to do what you think is best. If you love your husband try to work it out. I stay because of the two girls.
2006-11-03 08:56:57 · answer #10 · answered by goodbye 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for one he is 16 yrs older then u so maybe he has a differnt sex drive or he could be worried that u do not find him sexy any more talk to him work it out and if he still conti. this go get a toy and play w it right in front of him maybe that will turn him on and if not u r still pleasing your self. good luck.
2006-11-03 08:56:54 · answer #11 · answered by A soldiers wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋