It's pretty obvious that he doesn't care anymore. He is a very mean vindictive person to people he doesn't like. And surprise surprise he's been mean and hateful towards me lately - I think he thinks I'm standing in his way somehow.
How have you dealt with this situation or how would you deal with it? I would just like to get some ideas...Anything would be appreciated.
2006-11-03 08:38:37 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
P.S. - he said he doesn't care enough to go to counceling.
2006-11-03 08:41:36 · update #1
P.P.S - he's not mean in the sense that he hits me or anything like that. He is just very blunt and can say very hurtful things without thinking.
2006-11-03 08:49:13 · update #2
Don't tell him that you *think* that you want to try separating. You already know that you want to distance yourself from him. But before you tell him that you are separating him (and stating reasons why) first take care of yourself. Get your own bank account (if you dont already have one) make sure that you have a vehicle that is in YOUR name only, and get your own place. just in case he wants to try something deceptive to try and stop you. Then you tell him that you are going to separate from him because of reasons that you stated earlier. Oh...and one more thing...after you get your place, you may want to take one day (while he is at work) to have some of your friends move some of *your* things into your new place. when he gets home...then you can tell him. by then you will already have a place of your own to stay in case he wants to throw you out to try and make you feel low.
2006-11-03 10:44:43 · answer #1 · answered by cfalways 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey don't torture yourself. Just say it exactly as you said it in here. "I think we should try a separation". As soon as it comes out of your mouth, you'll be able to judge by his reaction if he feels the same way, or if he's hurt by the suggestion. But just be up front and forward. If he's treating you like crap anyway, I wouldn't be worried about sparing his feelings right now. You need to look after you first. I did actually tell my husband that once about a year ago, but thankfully everything turned out OK, and we're still together. But I'll tell you one thing after I had said it he straightened his act up pretty quick. Good Luck!!!!
2006-11-03 16:45:31 · answer #2 · answered by brooklynsss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are sure that you no longer have any love at all and totally lack true love to reconcile or heal / dissolve in love
whatever made you too weak in your heart to PROVE YOUR love and loyalty to him - if you are sure your situation is hopeless - then just say that you would love to separate soonest.
Normal it's you the one to go - hence you pack all within minutes and go there is no need to wait any longer and your decision certainly has matured for months or years. keep in mind that a separation in most cases is for life - however you need to be able to separate in peace and as friends.
Avoid any accusation -. for sure BOTH of you have made very substantial mistakes and failed to PROVE love to each other or you simply have married for a totally different reason than true love. What ever the reason may be - even if one of you two has already a new partner - the NEW partner NEVER is the true reason to separate - the failure of BOTH of you is the only reason why a marriage or relationship fails and thus the failure of BOTH of you to PROVE love and say a FULL YES to each others in good as well as in darkest times is the only reason why any other person ever can enter between two married persons.
A failed relationship always is the result of either a denial to love ora rejection of love or both at the same time - from one or both partners concerned.
The one who initiates separation is the one to go - immediately within minutes - in love and in peace.
2006-11-03 16:50:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are there children involved? Regardless, if you find yourself in an emotionally abusive situation you should think about getting out. It may not seem like a healthy situation at first, but please do not let him chip away at your self esteem to the point where you feel you are not worth anything and stay in it. Stay strong. Peace.
2006-11-03 16:46:54 · answer #4 · answered by J D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suggest counseling, and if he says no, go for yourself. Ask him if he wants the marriage to work, ask him what he wants or if there is something bothering him,In other words, try all angles before suggesting a separation. If he truly seems uninterested, then maybe a separation is in order...either that, or make yourself sick.
2006-11-03 16:43:50 · answer #5 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly if he doesn't care enough to go to marriage counseling I would let it go. You deserve better. Marriage is all about communication and compromise, and if your spouse can't do either, what do you have? Do you have friends or family to stay with? Lean on them to help you through. Stay busy with things of interest, hobbies, etc.
2006-11-03 16:44:41 · answer #6 · answered by Carey L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Separations are useless. They serve no positive purpose whatsoever.
By the way, what steps have you taken to insure that you will never again get involved with someone who is mean?
2006-11-03 16:45:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just set him down, ask what the problem is, and if it is something you or he cant live with, then there is no point of you two going on with it...it seems you are both very unhappy...
2006-11-03 16:43:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if hes being mean to you i would just tell him your done being treated like dirt and you are leaving.
P.S if he gets really violent i would get some strong tuff people to come with you.
2006-11-03 16:42:41 · answer #9 · answered by Jessy D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While everyone gives you the fluffy answers... here is a direct answer ... see you hun... nice knowning you although your pen*s is doing it for me .... you want a woman... How can he argue and you will leave his ego crushed.
2006-11-03 16:51:17 · answer #10 · answered by on2try 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋