Absolutel not! Honesty is the backbone of a marriage... don't start lying to him.
SO - You guys have to just sit down and be honest with each other. A guy has to believe that he's pleasing his mate, or it gets really depressing. There is NOTHING wrong with not coming together... in fact it can be a real turn on to not be so wrapped up in yourself that you can't feel what's going on with the other person.
SO - Work out a way. It may mean that you go first and then he gets to go. Or he may be up for a 2nd try after the first quick one if that's the only way you and get there. You may even enjoy it al lot more yourself. Frankly, I never met a woman who didn't like to get off with a little manual or oral first.
The main thing is to take the guilt out of it for both of you!!! Doing it is a lot more than just pounding it for all you're worth.
Don't know how old you are, but I had the reverse problem with my wife. She takes a hour or more and I can't last more than 30 minutes. So, early in our marriage, we had a frank talk and agreed to please each other in the way that best suited our phisiology. I would take care of her first manually or orally and then I got my turn to do it however I wanted to. As the years passed we sort of forgot that our version was different and now, 30 years later, we still enjoy each other immensely. It took all the problems out of our physical relationship.
2006-11-03 08:30:36
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answer #1
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answered by Tim B 4
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What if he finds out you've been faking it. You should take him to a therapist or doc. It could be emotional or even physical. You do not sound awful in the least. It makes sense of course. Many women do "fake it" but maybe you should go to a sexual therapist or something of the sort as someone mentioned above. Have you tried a penis ring? It might help him hold his erections longer. You might also research about sexual enhancement or even try lubricant. Maybe even use oral or other types to get you off faster. More foreplay before might help as well. I'm sorry, this is all I really can help you with. I am not a therapist so I could not tell you. It could be when you do it. Do you guys have sex when things are stressful? Either way, trying many tecniques will help you. If it does not I would seek some help such as a therapist. Hope this helps a little.
2006-11-03 08:25:08
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answer #2
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answered by Kelly s 6
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It's no secret that most women take longer to reach orgasm than most men. First of all, you need to teach him how to get you there before he ever enters you. Manual stimulation, oral sex, whatever. Find your G-spot and show him where it is. During intercourse, you can help by stimulating yourself while he's thrusting, by getting into a position that makes him hit you at just the right spot, and by suggesting position changes often enough to keep him from finishing during the first position. If there's a position in which he just can't hold back for more than a few seconds, make that your special finishing position and don't use it unless you've already had your orgasm. You could also try using a vibrator on or around your clitoris during penetration.
If you don't normally reach orgasm by yourself (i.e. masturbate), you should start. Orgasms are kind of a use-it-or-lose-it thing. The more you have, the easier they are to attain. It'll also help you to know how to show him what it's gonna take for you. Every woman is different.
You can encourage him to do the same, it'll help him build stamina. In fact, some men, knowing that sex will likely occur later in the evening, will go off and "get rid of the easy one" in order to last longer with their partner.
By the way, if he tells you he never masturbates... he's lying.
Good luck.
2006-11-03 08:31:46
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answer #3
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answered by kensval 2
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How would you feel if he faked it just cause you orgasmed to fast. Why not look at trying to find a way that will allow him to last longer. IE, start stop or something.
He gets depressed cause he thinks your not satisifed and he is not a good lover. Maybe you need to look at trying to help him feel better about how long he lasts. There is lots of books/movies etc out there.
Maybe you could take control of the pace, find a position that is not so sensitive for him. Try lots of foreplay, and I mean lots. Like you pleasure him for bit and show him that you like doing it and want to. Then let him work on you for a while, tell him what you want. Let him give you orgasm first that way, then go for the gusto and have fun.
Beyond that, you need to make sure that you tell him he is a good lover. Teach him to make love & please you the way that you need. We are not rocket scientists and know all when it comes to pleasing our wives.
2006-11-03 09:01:31
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answer #4
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answered by SRC 2
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ok, first of all there is NO reason for him have one quick orgasm and quit. why does the first time have to be the only time? so he comes really fast the first time. big deal. take a short rest, a little nap, and get ready for round 2! or even get him to keep stimulating you with his fingers or tongue or whatever until he's recovered and is ready to go again. it's a proven fact that men last longer the second time around. and even longer the third time around. :) think of it as a compliment to you. he is so attracted to you, you turn him on so much, and it feels so good with you that he can't control himself. hey, that's a major compliment for you. another thing you guys can do is focus more on foreplay. get him to make you come once or twice before he ever enters you. buy some toys and let him use those on you. it's all about play and enjoyment, not about getting stressed or feeling that you have to 'fake' anything just to make him feel better.
2006-11-03 08:36:54
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answer #5
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answered by benjis.girl 3
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Your Speedy Gonzales can learn to stop errupting so quickly.
Faking happens too much and ends up training poor lovers to become even worse. Imagine coming to see old faithful and ending up at Niagra Falls instead. Bad for him, much worse for you.
Make it a couple thing where he lets you know when he needs to downshift, and he can change position and give you personal attention for a while. When the spaceship has settled back to earth, he gets to go cave exploring again.
Discuss your plans with him during a time when then clothes are on, and let him know that you want to help him work on it because he takes his "shortcummings" so hard.
Good luck and don't lead a potential marathon runner turn into a career short sprinter, or you will be the one depressed and unwilling to talk.
2006-11-03 08:48:27
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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I think that this happens in some way to most women at some point. I think it's sweet that you want to pump him up emotionally (no pun intended) to make him feel better. It's okay to a point, but he will be angry if he figures it out, so don't go overboard. Continue to tell him he's great and makes you happy. You will still need to work on things as you will become bitter and unsatisfied if you must always fake it and never actually get off.
The other option here is to make yourself get off. I had to do this for years and years with my ex-husband, who could never figure out (despite much coaching) how to do it for me. What you need to do is move in such a way as to do it, or touch yourself and let him watch (which drives guys crazy) until you come up with the right movements that work for you. That way, he's not under so much pressure.
2006-11-03 08:38:57
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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Faking it only hurts yourself in the long run. Your man thinks he is doing something right when in fact he is way off the mark. You stop being satisfied all together and then what?
If your man doesn't last long at "it" then he needs to warm you up a little bit longer so that you guys are on the same page when it comes to climax time. You also need to explain to him that women are complicated and something that works one day might not work the next.
I understand your thinking but I think if you start faking it, you might have bigger problems later.
2006-11-03 08:36:36
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answer #8
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answered by Gonzo 2
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It sounds like he's suffering from premature ejaculation. He's depressed because he wants intercourse to last longer so you faking an orgasm isn't going to help. He needs to talk to his doctor about this. I'm sure there's medication or help. He might even have a physical problem such as prostate trouble that can be causing his woes in the bedroom. The fact that you enjoy it and it's ok for you doesn't help the fact that he wants to do it longer and he can't.
2006-11-03 08:26:32
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answer #9
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answered by Debra D 7
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If we wait a long time I have to fake it just to make him feel like he really did something. I fake it the majority of the time because my guy is alot older and seem to always be set b-4 I am so I just fake along with him which is NOT GOOD because after he get his, I can pretty much wrap it up.
2006-11-03 08:19:29
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answer #10
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answered by "tre-double" 2
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