What should I do about not spoiling my baby?

Question

I have an 8 month old daughter, and im afraid that i have spoiled her already....what should i do?? I cant bear to just sit and let her cry!

Answer 1

you wont spol her by picking her up when she cries i am gettin so sick of people telling me that im gonna spoil my son when i pick him up when he cries. all it develops is trust she will know you are there when she needs you so pick her up all you want honey all power to ya! mine is a year old now and i only dont pick him up when he is fussin cuz he doesnt get his way so please ignore all those people who say " dont pick her up when she cries youll spoil her" she will know you love her and that she can trust you so pick her up when she says she needs you
good luck and God bless

Answer 2

News flash: It is impossible to spoil your baby. That’s right, despite what others may say, you can never shower your little one—especially those younger than 6 months old—with too much love or attention. In fact, meeting a newborn’s needs to be calmed, coddled and fed in a predictable manner help her feel secure while forging a loving, trusting relationship between parent and child.

As your baby matures and reaches the 6-month mark, however, you may want to refrain from catering to her every whimper. Consider fostering independence by delaying your response to certain cries—such as when your baby is frustrated with a toy or overstimulated. By learning to interpret and appease these tears, you’ll feel more confident in how you respond—and enjoy a quieter household.

The Crying Game
New parents often equate their baby’s cries with distress and discomfort. In truth, however, babies cry for numerous reasons—when they’re hungry, anxious, overtired, have a wet diaper. Just remember that crying isn’t a bad thing, and it will never harm your baby.

“When Tyler was 4-months-old, he would have crying jags that lasted for what seemed like an eternity,” remembers Mary McDonald of her son Tyler, now 4. “My husband and I were flustered and ran around the house in a panic all the time. We would run to the crib, pick up Tyler and try to quite him immediately. What we learned, though, is that sometimes babies just need to cry and get it out of their system.”

Hard as it may be at first, allowing your baby—especially if she’s older than 6 months—to cry on his own for a couple of minutes has its benefits. For starters, it teaches the baby to amuse himself. (Around 5 months, little ones can spend hours playing with and examining their fingers and toes.) Second, she may learn a new skill. For instance, if she becomes frustrated with a toy and begins to cry, step back and see if she can solve the “crisis” on her own. You’ll be surprised by how quickly her problem-solving skills develop.

If your baby’s crying persists, swoop in and dry her tears with gentle rocking or caressing. This will teach your baby a lifetime lesson—that her parents will always be there for her.

Can’t-Miss Tip: Tears Be Gone
Having problems quieting your baby’s cries? Swaddle her in a blanket and rock her gently while singing a soothing lullaby. Also consider running the vacuum in the next room or placing your baby where she can hear the clothes dryer. Steady rhythmic motion and sound may help her fall asleep.

Answer 3

Oh, don't worry about this. If you want to cuddle your daughter when she cries, do it. I did, and I have a very secure unspoiled 18 month old daughter.
You have to do what you think is right for your family, and if that means not listening to her cry, if it means extra cuddles, even if it means still breastfeeding at midnight every night, then do it.
You are her mom, and you have be comfortable with your decisions, because if you aren't, you aren't going to enjoy being a mom, and this is one thing that you need to enjoy more than any other.
Don't fret about things that you are doing for fear they MIGHT affect the future, because there is an equal possibility that they might not!
Keep being the great mom that you are. Your daughter will thank you for it through her loving actions soon!

Answer 4

You can not spoil a baby! If you want to cuddle and carry her around, do it. The more loved and secure she feels the better her self esteem is later on. My kids were definitely what some would call spoilt, I never let them cry as babies, lots of cuddles, co-slept, slung them to do house work. I now have 2 amazing children that everyone compliments on their good behaviour.

Answer 5

You cannot spoil a baby and there will be a time when she says she doesn't want you to even be near her! Enjoy your time. Rock her to sleep every night! I promise it will pay off. My husband and I couldn't be happier with all the love we've given our daughter. She's not a brat! She's a very loving child who acts so well in public and shares great on play dates.

Read the book "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch and Sheila McGraw. It will prove my point!

Answer 6

I have a similar problem as you. I have a two week old son and everytime he cries, we carry him. It's so hard to ignore him when he's crying so badly. We saw the pediatrician today and she said if the baby is fed and you've changed his diaper, when he cries, just leave him alone. Otherwise, he'll get so attached that you'll lose a lot of sleep. Also, if he's awake and not crying, let him play with himself. He'll fall asleep when he's tired.

Answer 7

at bedtime, i let my 9 month old cry for 5 minutes and then i check on her.
she cries when i take things away and i don't pick her up.
when she is hurt or hungry or wants a hug i pick her up and sing to her and kiss her and cuddle all she wants.

i don't want to reinforce crying is for getting what you want. i am teaching her baby sign language so she can communicate her desires.

you won't spoil her, but you will make her a difficult person to live with if you always give in to her wants. her needs are a different matter and you should give her what she needs constantly.

good luck

Answer 8

you are not spoiling her, 8 month old have needs that can only be met by you!! Wait until she is 16-18 months before you worry about it. At this age she has no guile, so she is not trying to use her tears to manipulate you, just to communicate.

Answer 9

It's a NORMAL response for you to go to her when she crys. It's what you SHOULD do. Babies cry to communicate, NOT to manipulate you. You won't spoil her by responding to her needs. Something that is spoiled is something that has been left on the shelf to rot.

Answer 10

Well do NOT hold her TO much in the future... i know u probably just want her to feel safe and warm and let her know that you care but if u are always holding her then she will be a spoiled brat so do NOT hold her all the time! just be patient and wait a lil bit when she is crying if it is totally serious then u can pick her up i mean u can hold her but not to often not like EVERY 5 minutes give her her space. even though she is only 8 months... hope this advice works! good luck
~~ME