how to cope with husbands job??????

Question

I am 18 years old and married now for 4 months to my husband who is 24 yrs old. We dated for 6 months and i felt so in love with him that when my parents told me to never see him again and he proposed marriage that i married him 2 weeks later.We met when i was sneaking into a NYC club and he was helping to promote for a record company.He helped me and my 3 friends get in.The first 2 months of being married were great but i am a freshmen in college now and feel caged.He travels a lot to promote and is always at clubs and sometimes i now he goes out to strip clubs with his friends he calls it buisness.We live in NYC right now and it was an adjustment for me because i am from NJ but now he wants to move to Houston for a little while and he did not even consider i might not want to go!How do i cope with his job?

He is into rap and i now nothing of rap?Parents think he is white trash so no supprt their.

Answer 1

Only way to deal with it is to discuss it with him. You married him knowing full well what his profession is and as such must now live with the consequences. Hopefully you two will be able to compromise out some sort of resolution that is workable for you both.

Answer 2

I dont mean to be too forward or anything, but I am guessing you are only asking the question because you want honest help right? So I would have to first ask you why your biggest concern is his job? You say right in your posting that you feel "caged". And the fact that you are concerned and unsure of what it is that he is doing when he is at "work" shows that you dont completely trust him. And you sound like you dont want to move, and are perhaps even a bit homesick. I think you need to seriously sit down with your husband and talk to him about your hesitations and how you are homesick for NJ. If he truly cares about your marriage and your feelings, he will accept your sincerity and hopefully work something out with you. If he dismisses you and pushes the move to TX anyways, unfortunately there may be bigger underlying issues in your marriage. Best of Luck to you

Answer 3

After reading your question, I really feel you have more issues here than just your husbands job. What, truly, is the real problem? Are you now having second thoughts about marriage, as the underlying theme in your question indicates?
My suggestion is that you sit down with your husband and tell him honestly your feelings (leave out the drama) about all this, and then, hopefully, he will listen and respond with his.
Unfortunately, this may not happen, but at least you have given him the opportunity to hear your frustations. Good luck, and hope it all works out for you, one way or the other....

Answer 4

I totally understand where you are coming from, my significant other travels at least 90 % for work. The company has 3 (summits) a year that are basically luxury vacations for employees only. It is totally insulting for the person left at home when there is never time for a few luxury days with the spouse. We can go for up to 3 or 4r weeks without a day off. I can't wait till someone gives you advice, I haven't accepted it yet.

Answer 5

you've known each other for 10 months, and have been married for just 4 months?
first you need to get to know each other, and your wants, needs, dreams, goals etc.
find some common ground that you share.
regarding the strip clubs, and the move to houston, explain to him why you don't agree with those things, be reasonable though, make a list first don't just start rambling.
married life is a constant state of adjustment and compromise for both parties.
i've been married for 31 years, and we both still have to find the middle ground on alot of issues.
good luck on this.

Answer 6

A job like your husbands, goes with the territory! And as far as him going to clubs, that is also part of his job, things like that he has to always be working. Moving, you have to do that also, that is why, a lot of promoters, have a house in different city"s. Now if you want a successful marriage, you have to work with him, Support his efforts, when this type of business pays off, it can be big! but you have to jump on the band wagon, when you can! I hope all works out for you!

Answer 7

Well I'm not going to judge u for marrying too young because what's done is done but since u already gave your vows, u need to find a way to compromise where u will both be happy. Speak to him about how u feel. He will never know unless u say something. U knew full well this is what he did when u married him. Now u have to find a way to deal with it.

Answer 8

You need prayer! Go to a Christian pastor and get some prayer plus some free Godly advice. It will help 100%.
You are young and I pray the Lord pours His Peace upon you.
Read "Power of a Praying Woman" by Stormie Omartian. She also has "Power of a Praying Wife"
Helped me very much. Think Positive and smile. You'll be fine.

God Bless!

Answer 9

Sounds like your parents were right. You also don't know anything about marriage because you are a baby. Eighteen is no where near old enough to take on a marriage.
For your sake, I think you should either get a divorce before you make babies or you'll have to start talking to him and communicating your desires too.

Answer 10

I don't think it's his job you need to cope with, I think it's him. It sounds like you're not part of this marriage. If you want to have a say in what happens in your life you better speak up now, before children are involved. Good luck, but don't be a doormat.