Can you please critique?

Question

I would appreciate your honest, constructive criticism on this...thanks!

Dear Hiring Manager:

Please accept my resume as an interest in the Executive Administrative Assistant position you have advertised in the (newspaper name).

My qualifications include over fifteen years experience as an executive assistant. I have exceptional organizational skills with the ability to handle sensitive confidential information in a professional manner. I also maintain excellent communication skills and advanced proficiency in all Microsoft applications.

I would appreciate the opportunity to further describe my candidacy for this position. Please contact me at (my phone #) or via email at: (my email). Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.

Best regards,
My Name

That's ok WildBill. I never really know how much confidence I should include. Thanks for your honesty.

Answer 1

Sounds 'nearly' perfect. I would clarify that you're provicient in ALL Microsoft applications. Perhaps in all Microsoft OFFICE applications.

Sounds smooth, professional, and appropriate.

good luck

Answer 2

Just a couple of tweaks:

"Dear Hiring Manager:

Please accept my resume as my interest in the Executive Administrative Assistant position advertised in the (newspaper name).

My qualifications include over fifteen years experience as an executive assistant. I have exceptional organizational skills and the ability to handle sensitive confidential information in a professional manner. I have excellent communication skills and advanced proficiency in all Microsoft applications.

I would appreciate the opportunity to further discuss my qualifications for this position. Please contact me at (my phone #) or via email at: (my email). Thank you in advance for your time and consideration."

Would it be possible to contact the company and get the name of the hiring manager? I think it would be better to address your cover to them directly. Also, if you have information on the company, try to include it in your cover. For example: ABC corp. was named one of the best companies to work by Forbes Magazine. Your company is also well known for it's charitable contributions. I would be pleased to be a part of such a highly regarded organization."

Overall, it's a good letter. Good Luck!

Answer 3

i think this would work

Dear hiring manager,

Pleas accept my resume as a gracious request in the Executive Administration Assistant position, you have advertised in the newspapper.

Some of my qualification include fifteen years worth of experience as an executive assistant. I also have exceptional organization skills with the ability to handle sensitive confidential information in a professional manner. I maintain excellent communication skills and advanced proficiency in all microsoft applications.

I would greatly appreciate the oppurtunity to further inform you of my other capabilities. Please contact me at (phone #) or via email qt (email). Thank you in advance for your time and consideration of my acceptance.

Best regards,
ur name

Answer 4

I'm a little dubious about "all microsoft applications". Maybe a number, or "all microsoft applications for an office environment" or something like that. "All" might include some you never heard of, you don't want to risk them asking if you know how to use MS Goofyobscureprogram at the start of the interview.

I would expect this to be on your own letterhead with all your contact information. No need to duplicate it in the third paragraph, just "I'm excited about the possibility blah blah and look forward to hearing from you at your convenience blah blah"

If it wasn't a blind ad to a PO Box, and you know the company, make a short phone call to the company. Be charming. Try to find out who the position reports to. If you can do this, you can stand out by stating "I understand from speaking to Carol that this position reports to John Doe." Don't say anything more, it's enough to tell them you did a little more homework than the average candidate, and stands out.

Answer 5

I would advise tailoring your letter to fit the ad to which you are referring. Example, if they are looking for some specific skill, state specifically within the letter that you do possess that school (of course, don't lie and say you do if you don't).

Answer 6

Sounds earnest and sincere. I'd call you for a follow up providing your resume backed up your claims.

Answer 7

It sounds like you're a legend in your own mind.....(sorry)
Stick with the facts of your capabilities, and kill the 'exceptional' 'professional manner' and 'excellent'........
Sounds like you're full of yourself......

Answer 8

that a load of bs. keep looking. poor grammar.