Second, third, baby showers??? Do you think they are horrible?

Question

I know on babycenter this question got heated, but why are second baby showers so bad??? I know some say well different gender is okay, or if there is a time lapse. But i am talking about genuine people who have consecutive showers, but don't register for pack n plays, high chairs, strollers, but more just a party. If someone really didn't think 2nd showers were right, couldn't you just show up with something personal for the baby? A book, a letter, a scrapbook of mom and you? Does it have to be 'bought"?? And if you do get gifts that you don't need, why not donate them to a shelter, needy, etc??? I guess for the people that are opposed to them, why not just show up with a personal gift and not a registry gift. If the mom to be gets mad, doesn't that say something about her values? I just dont think it has to be about gifts like that, but is that what you think??
My point i guess, is why does everyone feel so pressured

I know one person missed some of the question, I'm not talking about the stuff you "need", bottles, clothes, strollers, cribs. I don't think repeat mothers should have all that stuff anyway. I don't think you read through the whole question. Thanks though

Answer 1

I don't see a problem when people have a baby shower for each of their children. I think that once you're having the second one then gifts should be optional and it should really be just a party for everyone to get together and celebrate the new addition. It does get tricky if like, the second baby is a different sex than the first... then I think the parents really do need new things.

A lot of people I know donate most of the things they get after the first baby is done with them. They hold onto some big things, but they donate or pass on tons of clothes and stuff.

Answer 2

Because they are probably greedy and would want that person to follow their "list" exactly but don't want to do the same.
I agree. The first baby shower is where you'd register for the big stuff, pack'n play, crib, bassinet, etc. Also, things that may come up that you will definitely need with the second child. For example, I have a 7mos old daughter and I just found out I'm pregnant again :-). I already plan on registering for a tandem stroller, because that's something I will need.
I think baby showers for the purpose of a party are great!!
Whith my first daughter, we registered, but that was more for fun. I never expected anything from the registry...we got nothing from our wedding registry...we didn't care.
But I was amazed at how many gifts we got from that.
Parents shouldn't expect only things off their registry. That is just a curtosy from our side to the guests incase they can't think of anything personal or creative.
Heck, you could also have a diaper party!! all the guests just bring diapers as a gift instead of other things that you may already have from the other child(ren).
But definitely 2nd, 3rd....showers aren't horrible. Every child is something to be celebrated. And since it is a birth we are celebrating, gift usually are associated with baby showers.

Answer 3

Well I have three kids. And I had a shower for each of them. The reason why I had a second one, was because I was having a different gender, and the third one was because a lot of time laspsed between the second one and my last. With each shower the attendance improved, my first baby shower really bombed but I wasnt upset about it. I was glad to be around those that did show up. The funny thing about that shower is that I had my baby the very next day. But all in all, do whatever you want. If someone has a problem or complaint...well they don't have to come. Not a big deal.

Answer 4

In my opinion, having multiple baby showers is ok, whether the cause is for celebration, or for the needs of the mother and baby. In some situations, the parties are truly needed, as the mother may have trouble attaining crucial items such as extra bottles, clothes, etc. Personally, I feel that it is about the environment and the people that you ask to attend the shower. Of course, people who are barely making it themselves, or going through hard times would be offended by the thought of second (or more) babyshowers. I know that if you consider yourself close to the expecting mom, you should be there for her no matter what-even if you don't have anything to give. However, celebration-wise, the showers are a totally different concept, with the guests not necessarily having to purchase or give anything. Support is the main objective.

Answer 5

I guess it would really depend on, what you have on the invitation as; a request for gift or donation. Ultimately what the person gives to the mom/baby is up to the person giving it. If the immediate families knows that the mom & pop are in need of a new stroller after just 1 yr of use then they can all chip in and buy one and so fourth. I think it is important to specify celebration only, or donations ($??) collected for diapers, or crib...

Answer 6

I don't see any problem with second or third baby showers as long as you say gifts are not required. I don't see a problem with having a celebration for your next child as long as it isn't a plea for more stuff.

I think they can become bad when a person wants a bunch of gifts. If you instead say gifts are not required I don't see a problem with it. Word the invitation something along these lines.

Please join Susan and Harvey in celebrating the news of their second child (third, etc). Gifts are not necessary we just want you to share this joyous occasion with us.

As long as you make it as gifts as optional and make it about the celebration of a new baby it wouldn't be bad. People who have consecutive showers with gifts are being greedy, even if the sex of the children are different. My mom was able to use the crib and bedding for all three of my younger siblings (two boys and a girl) because it was unisex. Many of the toys and clothing were usable again. Of course they got stuff from family members, friends, and birthdays that we just for them. I think if you choose wisely with furniture and bedding, etc it shouldn't be necessary to have gifts at second, third, etc baby showers and it just make it a celebration instead of a gift giving thing.

Answer 7

I dont think multiple showers is a bad thing at all. I think that a shower is just like celebrating a birthday..just for a new life that hasnt arrived yet. Anyhow, if there is a problem with having 2 or 3 showers, then i suppose a more "party" for adults would be easier for everyone to cope with instead of the shower.

Answer 8

For my second child, I didn't think I would get a baby shower, but the woman that I worked with insisted on giving me a shower, and it ended up that only 4 people where there including my mother, and about 7 people got me gifts... there were no big gifts, just little cute things for my daughter.
My mother had 5 children and 5 baby showers....
I don't think its wrong, just don't be selfish about it and insist that you have a babyshower, wait to see if anyone wants to throw you a shower!
Maybe the people who are opposed to it are the ones that didn't have a shower after their first child... hummmm.... jealous?

Answer 9

I totally agree. I believe that a baby shower is meant for the family and friends of the ones having the baby to get together and celebrate that this woman is bringing another child into the world.

Have six or seven of them! Geez, there's nothing wrong with it. And like you said, its not like if the births are close, that the mom is asking for all the expensive stuff all over again.

It's a party! Its there to celebrate! To bring families close! To talk about names and guess when theyre going to be born. Just to have fun.

Answer 10

I was not planning a 2nd baby shower because I already had all the big stuff from when my son was born 2 years ago. It could be something like new clothes for the new baby or maybe some diapers or formula, if she is not going to breastfeed.