I have known a man for 10 years. 5 years ago, I let my irish temper get the best of me and I called it off between us. I rushed into a marriage I later found out was abusive, and he was there for me. Everything is planned out now, but I have some questions. What does it really mean when a man says "No matter who you marry, you'll always belong to me?" What does it mean, upon seeing your children and spoiling them rotten, when he says, in a good sort of sad way and not a bad one "They should have been from me. But you dumped me". What does it mean when you are talking, and the man says he wants more children in the future? Especially when you have to work hard most of the time to get his feelings out in the first place? What does it mean when he says he never thinks anything badly of you and that just a look from you "drives him nuts" and he can't resist kissing you? Is this just talk, or is it real since he didn't try anything in the beginning?
2006-11-03 05:58:45 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
All that means that he loves you and you should be with him and not someone else. That coming from a dude is as rare as gold. Why you're not with him is a mystery to me. Hell, I'm a dude and I want to be with him now. lol
2006-11-03 06:09:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he's hopelessly in love with you. You broke it off with him, what do you mean he didn't try anything. He probably wishes you would just say the word and he'd be right there marrying you. He's dropping all kinds of hints, you know what he's trying to say when he says these things. So maybe you should give him a chance.
Or maybe you broke up with him for the right reasons and need to steer clear and get your kids from around him. Apparently something happened back in the day that made you get mad enough to break up with him. Has he changed? Don't be blinded by flattery, follow your gut instincts when it comes to this guy. You've already been in an abusive relationship and may be heading right into another one. There could be a pattern. Maybe try counseling to help you see certain patterns and why you choose certain guys to be around.
2006-11-03 06:53:23 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. G 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's in love with you honey. He's never been able to find a woman who compares, and is of course a little shattered that the last five years have gone by without you. He wishes he had children with you, and sounds like he still wants to. If this was once a man who had trouble expressing himself, it sounds as if time has cured him of that. He's learned a valuable lesson, that being you don't know what you've got until it's gone.
I'd like to say give him another chance. Of course I don't know ALL the background. So you'll have to make that decision, because if he really is still in love with you, and you keep him trailing along, he will get fed up, and you will never see him again. Your decision....good luck!!
BTW, I think people are being wayyyy too touchy with the "you'll always belong to me" bit. That's just saying that you'll always be in his heart. Lighten up people!! Perhaps they've had some bad experiences.................
2006-11-03 06:19:10 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would be VERY cautious with your children around him- especially if you end up having kids together because he may at that point treat your children as though they are not as "good as" his. some step parents really DO try their best to treat all the children equally BUT their own flesh and blood will always mean more to them than someone elses flesh and blood. It also sounds like HE believes you will always come back to him- that you will never find anyone compared to him. Sounds a bit stuck up if you ask me. BEFORE you make any decisions either way, you NEED to ASK HIM what it all means- if you two cannot communicate the relationship is destined to failure. Good Luck:)
2006-11-03 06:46:44 · answer #4 · answered by nine kids 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd be wary of the "No matter who you marry, you'll always belong to me." comment. Did he mean it in a controlling, I own you kind of way? If so, run. If he was trying to say that no matter what happens between you he'll always love you, then that's a whole other ball game. If you truely love someone it doesn't matter if you are together or apart. That love is still there. If he loved you 10 years ago then he loves you now. Unless he is the kind of man who would tell you what you wanted to hear to get you in bed, then he is sincere. Men don't tell you these things unless they are drunk and it slips out (That's a definite way to know they are telling the truth.) or they are desperate for your love and are afraid they will loose you if they can't make you understand how strong they feel about you. He's already lost you once...I'm betting he doesn't want to take any chances now. He will keep declaring his love and devotion until you believe him and accept it. He sounds insecure, but with good reason. Try to reasure him. If he is good for you and your children and you love him, go for it!
2006-11-03 06:18:27 · answer #5 · answered by soccermomw3 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
He's being very romantic and telling you (without saying the words) that he's in love with you. NOW...here's the thing. You are the one who has known this man for a long time. I have no clue why you broke up with him before and that's important. Did he do something that was a deal-breaker for you (cheat, lie, abuse you)? Or did you get angry over something less important? How do you feel about him now? Are you in love with him? Can you trust your heart to him? Would you find him to be a place of comfort, safety, and honesty if you were to marry him? He sounds like he's still a bit upset about the break-up (you dumped me) but that he still wants to be with you. NOW...you're in the position to know him best and to know if you can trust what he says. And only you know how you feel about him. Take it from there...cautiously...and best of luck!
2006-11-03 06:29:27 · answer #6 · answered by missingora 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like that he wants you to feel the same hurt that he has felt when you two had broken up. It's like he wants to be with you but at the same time, he wants you to understand how he felt during that point in time when you moved on. And as far as the kids go, he sounds like that he is upset because you guys didn't have children together first and he wants you to feel bad. It seems like you need to talk it out first, whatever grudge he is holding on to, he needs to let that go because you can't have a healthy relationship if he keeps throwing the past in your face like that. If he really loves and cares for you like you say he does, then he needs to put the past behind him, be thankful that he is in your life as well as you are in his, and let bygones be bygones and just move on and work towards a very long lasting future with you. I wish you all the luck and happiness!!
2006-11-03 07:06:42 · answer #7 · answered by frakmomma04 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think he is just trying to tell you how much you mean to him. He has obviously forgiven you for dumping him and marrying someone else. He doesnt hold that against you which says a lot about this guy. If he is good to you and your kids, go with it. He seems ready to want to take care of all of you, so why stop him. Unless you aren't into him. He is totally 100% in love with you saying that one look from you drives him nuts. That's so cute. Many women dont get to hear nice compliments from men, so suck it up!!! Keep taking it and also, tell him how much he means to you.!!!!!! Good Luck, and just have fun :)
2006-11-03 06:15:18 · answer #8 · answered by colleen b 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Wow...that's complicated. First of all, he seems very possessive of you...."you'll always belong to me" and wanting to have a child with him may be his way of holding onto you. What's been going on in his life while you were spilt up? Did he try to move on or did he just wait around for you? "They should have been mine but you dumped me" sounds like he's trying to throw it back in your face that you made the wrong choice...and spoiling them rotten sounds like he may be trying to "buy" their love. And he never thinks anything bad of you, even though "you dumped him"? To me, it sounds like he's living in a fantasy world. He's had a long time to dream about what it would be like to be with you and now he's trying to live it...I would be weary of what happens when real life...kids, schedules, conflicts....start popping up. He could be genuine but keep both eyes open....good luck.
2006-11-03 06:25:38 · answer #9 · answered by kimmer 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know someone who's the same way, and I dumped him after some issues (and also because of my french temper lol).Do what feels right. If your current situation is bad, maybe you wnat to reconcider. But don't see this guy on the side. It wouldn't be right for you, him or even your current relationship. Think it all through first. Look at ALL the pros and cons. Write them down if you must. But do what is suggested above and ask him about those phrases. Only he knows the true meaning. I would also worry though, he may be genuinly honest about his feelings, or he may be overly posessive. Be carefull about that.
2006-11-03 06:15:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
You need to stop trying to read too much into what he is saying. It sure sounds to me like he really likes you and has for a very long time. It takes time and sometimes a drastic event to happen for some men to really realize what they want. Just talk to him and ask him. If he is telling you all these things then I am sure he would be more than willing to talk to you about anything.
2006-11-03 06:15:14 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋