Please help i need advice??

Question

I am 18 years old and married now for 4 months to my husband who is 24 yrs old. I am really unhappy and feel very alone in this relationship and feel i may have made a mistake. We dated for 6 months and i felt so in love with him that when my parents told me to never see him again and he proposed marriage that i married him 2 weeks later.We met when i was sneaking into a NYC club and he was helping to promote for a record company.He helped me and my 3 friends get in.The first 2 months of being married were great but i am a freshmen in college now and feel caged.He travels a lot to promote and is always at clubs and sometimes i now he goes out to strip clubs with his friends he calls it buisness.We live in NYC right now and it was an adjustment for me because i am from NJ but now he wants to move to Houston for a little while and he did not even consider i might not want to go!My parents feel he is white trash and hate him but pay for my college. I feel like i want to go home?

Make matter work he is constantly listening to rap for work and my parents hate rap music.He thinks he may want a baby could this save our marriage?My parents are paying for my college but i am afraid they will stop if i get pregnant.

Answer 1

Having a baby won't save your marriage... As great as babies are they change your realtionship and if it's not real good to begin with then it will only strain it... If you want to save your marriage I would think about counsling, for the both of you, and since he's gone a lot get some hobbies that you can enjoy and feel like you have a life. It sounds like you guys need to communicate better... My husband works 50-60 hours a week... I understand that it can be hard to be alone but you need to have a life so it doesn't feel like you're just waiting for him, concentrate on your schooling, if you have time sign you for group activities that most schools have (groups etc) or take some art classes or dancing or whatever you enjoy... You'll be greatful for the experience and if you move then you'll make friends more quickly. You shouldn't be considering divorce yet... It seems to me you may have already made up your mind... Be careful with that. Remember that every realtionship has a "huneymoon period" and then it's over. You then have the "work" part of marriage. It's an equal part thing that you both will have to put in to save your marriage... Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Married at 18
Between 18 and 21 is a lot of personal growth
Between 21 and 25 is also a lot of personal growth
I think as a person you should establish who you are before you get married and you haven't done that yet.
I recommend hold off on the having a baby idea. Children complicate thing NOT make it easier or better.
Go to college get a degree start a career and by the time you are about 30 you will know who you are and ready for a family. As for the marriage try riding it out, but don't feel to be bad if it falls apart. 18 is sooo young to be married.

Answer 3

OK, number one - babies do not save anything.

Adding more responsibilities and pressures with a child will only make you feel more trapped.

Unfortunaltely, you are too young to have gotten married. The human brain doesn't even finish developing until you're 25. How do you even know who you are or what you want. How can you share your life with a person until you know that?

OK, so here you are. Married. 18. Trapped.

Take a break. Go home to mom and dad for a while. Ask for thier understanding and patience. You may have made a mistake. Admit it. It's ok. Mistakes are a part of life, and the bigger they are, the more we're about to learn from them. So look at this as a learning experience.

Stay in school and keep up your grades. That is your future and it's important. Take time to find the answers you need and don;t rush anything. Be honest and do things with integrity. Then, you go from there.

Answer 4

A baby will never solve marital problems...isn't that asking a lot of the little darling? If you feel caged in now, while you can get out and go to college, imagine how you'd resent your hubby ( and probably the baby too ) if you had a child for the wrong reasons! I don't think you put a lot of thought into your marriage plans, but you ARE married now, and you should give it more of a chance than a few months. That's a quitters attitude, if you ask me.....marriage is about give & take, and lots of compromise...sounds like you both need to grow up some and learn how to do this!

Answer 5

I got married when I was 22, and now I think I was too young. The first 2 years were awful. It was nothing like I thought it would be. He completely changed. He wasn't sweet and loving anymore, we never did anything together, and he was gone all the time. I felt so alone. Then I got pregnant. I was so happy, because I now had somebody to love and that would love me back. And she is the best thing that has ever happened to me! But it didn't make things better with me and my husband. We've been married for 5 years. Our relationship is steadily fading. I can't stand to think about what it will do to my daughter if/when we divorce.

My advice is don't have a baby with this man right now. You just got married. You need to talk to him about your feelings, make it clear to him that you are thinking about ending it. He needs to know how serious this is. Then if you work through your problems and are happy, have a child together.

I hope everything works out. God bless.

Answer 6

DO NOT HAVE A BABY!!! This will not save your marriage. You married very young and frankly, out of immature spite for your parents. You need to get into counseling on your own and with your husband and do what you can to resolve the issues in your marriage. I am shocked a 24 yr. old guy in the entertainment business got married so young. He's very self-focused right now and he should be considering the fact that you're in school, etc. If he insists on moving, you will have a tough decision to make. I wish you the best!

Answer 7

Girl, you are a baby. So having a baby to save a marriage is a horrble idea. You still have time to get that marriage annulled. That way it won't be a divorce in the eyes of your parents. I would move back home or at least seperate. You are so young you should not be this miserable. College should be the best years of your life - not the worst. Leave him and give yourself some time to grow up before setteling down again.

Answer 8

Stay in college, it is a once in a life time kinda thing and if you give it up you'll regret it forever, and most likely never go back. But what ever you do DO NOT HAVE A BABY RIGHT NOW, if your not happy then that baby will not be happy either.I know because I am a 24yr old mother of three. One year into my second marriage, and going to college full time and my husband just lost his job. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, just listin to your parents they really do know. A babys job is not to save your marriage, your job is to make sure the baby is happy. Having a baby will NOT save your marriage. Sorry honey, life sucks, I know.

Answer 9

You were way to young to get married. Yes it was a huge mistake. Do not complicate this by having children. They deserve a happy home that you will not have given his lifestyle.

Finish college prepare yourself for independance because you will need to be.

Answer 10

I think you rushed into this to soon, YOU can't change what type of music he listens to, he is him and that is that. You need to talk to him about how you feel, when you are married you don't hold back feelings,you let it be known that you aren't happy. I have and It has made a difference.